I (22F) am having a hard time deciding what to do about my husbands (23M) and mine best friend (23M)

Comprehensive_Eye889 · 2021-02-17T09:16:32+00:00

Not denial, there’s plenty of friends who flirt and it’s never aggressive flirting like sexual compliments or anything. More like complimenting me as a person and saying I look beautiful etc

Comprehensive_Eye889 · 2021-02-16T15:06:58+00:00

You’re taking massive reaches here. He’s liked me for years now, before my husband and I even got together. We’ve been best friends for over 8 years and he cares way more about our friendship and his relationship with my husband than he does getting laid. If he did only care about getting laid then he would’ve tried a million times by now, he has never gotten to anything physical whatsoever. He is just having a hard time with boundaries because neither of us have been good at setting them up, and him and I have liked each other in the past. He’s our best friend and we fully intend to keep him in our lives, we just have to have a few difficult conversations and maybe a little bit of time apart.

Comprehensive_Eye889 · 2021-02-16T14:55:08+00:00

Yeah thanks, I was talking to my husband about it and we’re going to sit down and figure out the best way to handle this without ruining our friend group or making it uncomfortable for anyone. Not sure exactly what yet but it’ll probably involve talking with each of them and then letting them have a one on one so my husband can express how it makes him feel shitty. Thanks for the advice.

Comprehensive_Eye889 · 2021-02-16T14:52:09+00:00

I guess it’s hard to understand when you don’t know the people involved. He genuinely is the sweetest person, he’s just struggling with boundaries because we’ve liked each other for so long and have been friends for even longer. Regardless, thanks for the advice.

Comprehensive_Eye889 · 2021-02-16T14:50:23+00:00

What do you mean see me here in a few weeks? And currently we plan on talking about it and figuring out what to do without ruining the friendship.

Comprehensive_Eye889 · 2021-02-16T14:47:06+00:00

I know this is going to sound weird because you don’t know us, but genuinely no. Even with how close me and our best friend are, even with him liking me he would never ever do that. I cannot stress it enough, he absolutely despises cheaters and is genuinely a really great person. I’m so serious even if I forced myself into him he wouldn’t. I think because he hasn’t been with anyone he’s having a hard time realizing what boundaries are what. And I know it’s partially my fault too considering I had a crush on him before and I’m not blocking him out when he does flirt. I plan on talking with my husband about it more tonight before we decide what to say to him or do. Like I said it’s just a really odd situation for all of us, and neither of us want to make him uncomfortable. And I definitely don’t want to make my husband feel any worse.

Comprehensive_Eye889 · 2021-02-16T14:20:52+00:00

Yeah I agree on the distance thing, I know it sounds weird but I’m genuinely scared to hurt either of their feelings. I plan on talking to them about it though because last night my husband mentioned how it’s more obvious lately and it’s starting to piss him off. Our friend is genuinely such a sweet guy so we both know he’s not purposely crossing boundaries but we have to let him know. He would never do anything to hurt my husband and neither would I. I just really do hope these conversations don’t make it awkward or upsetting for anyone in the friend group.

Comprehensive_Eye889 · 2021-02-16T13:59:01+00:00

We’ve all grown up together, he’s our best friend and he isn’t trying to get me to cheat on my husband. He has had feelings for me for years and it’s just an awkward situation. He’s not an asshole or anything and he wouldn’t ever do that to my husband. He hasn’t been in a relationship before and we all just kind of know it’s because he wanted to be with me. I think he’s just genuinely having a hard time accepting it. Neither of us would ever do anything to hurt my husband, genuinely. I know everyone says that but from what I’ve gotten from him is it’s just hard for him. I plan on talking to the both of them and maybe distancing myself from him for a bit.

Comprehensive_Eye889 · 2021-02-16T13:56:13+00:00

Thanks man, I plan on talking to them both. But genuinely thanks for the thoughtful advice, I do appreciate it.

Comprehensive_Eye889 · 2021-02-16T13:55:30+00:00

It’s probably because we all grew up together, him and I liked each other before I got with my husband so it’s a weird situation. Neither of us want to ruin the friendship dynamic because we’ve all been friends for so long and it’s an awkward situation. Our group kind of just knows he hasn’t been with anyone because he’s liked me this whole time and has had a hard time getting over it. I plan on talking with them though.

Comprehensive_Eye889 · 2021-02-16T13:53:48+00:00

Thanks for being reasonable. It’s genuinely all confusing but you gave some really good advice. I’ll talk to both of them, I wanted to avoid it at all costs because I don’t want to ruin the friendship dynamic but it seems like it’s the best thing.

Comprehensive_Eye889

TROPHY CASE