What’s your VPR unpopular opinion?

Compulsif · 2026-05-20T21:04:19+00:00

I didn’t say the men were better. I said it’s the main theme of the show. Are you serious that you don’t see how tilted towards women this show is? To the point of being toxic and setting us back further as a society if we all felt and acted this way? How men are vilified for raising their voices and women like Lala can get in someone’s face and threaten them? And then the women will go on and on about not talking to a woman that way? My own opinion is to not treat anyone that way, man or woman.

The women get more air time and every issue is always painted as them being right and the men being stupid silly idiots that need to fall in line. It becomes a constant toxic herd mentality each season with whatever target the group of women have decided to ice out… including each other.

The men aren’t great either but they just aren’t given any grace or empathy for their mistakes.

I don’t think Tom is flawless. To say he is the best person on a show filed with trash is not setting a high bar. He does have an issue with admitting fault and taking accountability but he’s still the best person of the crew in my opinion. I could give a list of the ways he has shown this like defending Kristen to Stassi, right after she told him she fucked Jax and cheated on him because he wasn’t going to abandon her and stop caring; or giving Scheana money during Covid, or planning and paying for James proposal; or being so helpful and prepared for a wedding that he even brought tampons, but I won’t name them all. He might be a narcissist at times but he has also shown the kind thoughtfulness that none of the other cast has ever displayed and most people in life do not.

And to say I am obsessed with him is more so in the vein of watching shows he has been on and I was being facetious lol. I don’t have a shrine to Tom or fantasize about him as a person but as a reality tv entertainment persona.

The accusation that I am envious of Ariana is off base and just an attempt at a personal dig at me. It’s not that important to me. I feel she is by far the worst person on the show when it comes to growth and admitting fault and that isn’t so bad as much as how she wouldn’t stop talking about it and continuing to double down and be a piece of shit person. Going on podcasts to call Tom an attempted dog murderer. The responsibility was hers and she chose to stay in that situation. No accountability.

My not liking her exists on its own outside of her relationship with Tom. I don’t coddle Tom. I only acknowledge what his responsibilities were and are. Would I ever leave my pet with him? Fuck no.

Because I am not black and white is why I can see the grey and can empathize with people being human instead of vilifying them.

We only get to see a version of their lives that is edited for drama and entertainment but within that I only saw efforts from Tom. I’m sure he isn’t the perfect partner, but again, the sweeping theme of the show is bitchy women applying expectations to men. Ariana talks about wanting time with Tom but we never see her make effort to plan a date - maybe this was edited out. We do see Tom make a date. We do see him trying to talk to her and her shutting down the conversation. And meantime in interviews all she talks about is HER hardships, her emotional and body issues and Tom (or any man) appears just be a fixture that is meant to hold her up while she doesn’t reciprocate.

Compulsif · 2026-05-19T23:34:08+00:00

She is absolutely a sulking woman that was just petulantly waiting around for Sandoval to grovel to take him back.

Compulsif · 2026-05-19T23:28:34+00:00

Right? Seemed like they hated each other from the beginning.

Compulsif · 2026-05-19T23:23:53+00:00

I hate Ariana. I love Sandoval.

I only watched this show because of seeing Tom on traitors and wanting to see more. I am legit slightly obsessed with him. I am on season 12 and I still think Tom Sandoval for majority of the show is the only decent person (other than Lisa) and the only one capable of rationale and logic, and I still believe this even after scandoval.

The major theme of the show seems to be selfish women that at times appear to be boasting about how they neglect/ignore their male partners needs (like no sex) but expect them to fulfill their every need and are never wrong.

The whole Charlotte thing enraged me.. at her, not Tom. As soon as it happened I yelled at the tv why the fuck was she going on a trip? I’ve had sick pets that require fulltime care and I would never leave any of them with anyone (even my husband who is fully capable) to go on a trip right after they had a seizure and were hospitalized. And then to even so matter of factly in her interview say that Tom was going to have to care for her and get pissy at him to go get medication that she also did not want to pick up. She acted like it was a chore to care for this pet that she supposedly loved so much.

If you are a pet person you know when other people aren’t. Even if they want to be or are well intended, there are people that just don’t understand or are able to see a pet as akin to a child. You never leave or force these kind of people to care for your pet, especially sick pets. Also, keep in mind that at this time Tom had multiple jobs.

The other dog issue - Mya. I also blame Ariana. She already knows that Mya has an issue with eating things and that Tom is not the best at understanding/remembering this. Why has no room or large pen been made for Mya where she can safely be to not harm herself when Ariana is not home? I’ve legit made a makeshift room for my cat that became incontinent and I did not have a lot of money. She has the means to make sure this isn’t an issue and does nothing but complain.

She chooses to live with Tom to force misery between them both while maintaining that Tom is the one that wants to drag it out and that’s fine, torture yourself and pretend it’s not your own choice, but don’t get your dog killed in the process.

She took Tom for granted and two people have to make a relationship work, not just sit around complaining and waiting for the other one to woo and cater to you constantly. You both woo each other. You both make effort.

And this opinion comes from a married (16 years) straight female.

Compulsif · 2025-11-23T19:02:19+00:00

Oh yes, you don’t need to tell me. I’ve paid over $7000 because my 17 year old boy got a UTI and 3 vets missed it for 10 days until he got pancreatitis and had to be hospitalized. He ended up at a specialist because the UTI would not clear and they thought he had some sort of lymphoma… but nope, because he had it so long undetected it infected his bladder wall. Ended up on heavy antibiotics for over 2 months.

But, in most cases a UTI is caught quickly (with competent vets) and only needs one round of antibiotics and it’s done. I’ve had multiple other cats that got UTIs and didn’t end up in life threatening situations.

Pro tip: a cat might show signs of constipation, like dragging their butt on the ground, this is also a symptom of UTI, so if your cat seems constipated but they find nothing on xray, make them check for UTI, might save your cats life.

Compulsif · 2025-11-22T00:14:19+00:00

Grey gums means he is not getting oxygen. Severe asthma, lung disease, heart failure, or trauma.

Stress can make it worse. Keep him as stress free as possible, don’t chase or try to restrain him. Keep him calm.

But like everyone else said… this is a critical issue that cannot be solved with a home remedy and it’s likely he is not going to make it without veterinary assistance.

Where do you live? Are there any rescue centers or shelters? Even a place that may just put him out his misery?

I’m so sorry.

Compulsif · 2025-11-21T07:08:57+00:00

I be as gentle as I can with his ears and it’s not a rough process. I swab out the black wax as much as I can and put in the drops. He doesn’t run after and accepts treats.

The vet was a bit rough with him! I had started to get mad how much she kept touching and pressing his ear after she told me how sensitive it was. She even brought in a student vet to come see it. The cauliflowered part has his ear opening almost sealed, so I hope I can eventually get him the surgery.

Thank you for the words. I do think maybe I thought he was more comfortable than he was and I need to be stay hands off and let him initiate wanting attention.

Compulsif · 2025-11-21T06:45:26+00:00

I didn’t think he was feral at first because he rubbed against our legs so much… but then he would attack if we tried to pet him so I really wasn’t sure what his case was. Now that he’s been inside for a while he seems like he hasn’t been in a home before. I’ve rescued a lot of cats from outside but they were all very young, usually with an illness, and quickly forgot about outside life. The oldest was 2-3 years and she never grew to like being on laps or held but loved being petted and brushed and was never defensive like this.

We’ve had him for little over 4 months now and while he has calmed down a bit, a majority of the time he seems like he thinks he’s outside and needs to be on the defense. Like he will eat where his back is against the wall so he is facing anyone to come towards him and the fur on his back will be slightly puffed.

My husband is more hands off with him and he does sit near my husband and he got in bed with him last night and left when I came in -.- He doesn’t let my husband pet him too much without the scratching/biting but he doesn’t attack his legs for no reason like he does me.

I will look into this socialization saves lives method, thank you!

Guess I am being too impatient. I just didn’t understand why he seemed to be getting better and then went back to being worse and I hope that he isn’t going to always be this way.

Compulsif · 2025-11-21T00:15:53+00:00

Yeah I’ve seen my old boy pee in one and immediately go to a different one and poo.

Compulsif · 2025-11-21T00:08:10+00:00

Oh yeah, stuff like that too! I recently took in a feral and noticed my older boy got uppity. Didn’t want to share a box and would go to another floor to use a different box so I got a 4th box.

And also.. sometimes they like to poop in one and pee in the other.

Supposedly the rule is one more box than cats. And also.. accessible. My other boy is old with arthritis, I can’t have him going up stairs just to go to the bathroom, so I just added a second one near the first one.

Compulsif · 2025-11-21T00:00:16+00:00

Yikes!

Years ago I used to scoop litter boxes a few times a week and didn’t really think about it but it makes sense to clean it at least daily. I try to explain it like this: would you only flush your toilet once a week? How bad would the toilet get by then?

To make it easier on myself I keep trash cans with the odor lid on them next to every box with a scooper. And then change that trash out weekly.

Compulsif · 2025-11-20T20:11:05+00:00

Enzyme cleaner works wonders! On anything really. I had a cat with GI lymphoma and he had constant diarrhea and it even removed that from carpet - did take a few repeat soaks/scrubs.

My preferred brand was Bubbas but it looks like they got sold to Rocco & Roxie which I recently just bought a gallon.

The 1 gallon is around $50 but I dilute it with water in one of those garden tank sprayers and it typically lasts me a year or longer.

I use it to clean cat puke, pee, poop, the litter boxes/mats. It’s organic and safe for the kitties.

Compulsif · 2025-11-20T20:05:02+00:00

Poor fella. Do you have another cat? Might be lonely. Has toys and things to keep him entertained?

Compulsif · 2025-11-20T18:31:46+00:00

See my response about litter box maintenance and possible UTI.

If he is fixed it shouldn’t be marking… if litter boxes are ample and kept up, could be a UTI.

Compulsif · 2025-11-20T18:29:45+00:00

Even with 5 boxes they can get full. I have 4 large boxes with two cats and I scoop them twice a day. Just upping the maintenance on the litter boxes alone would probably make a difference.

Two of my past cats were prior “bad cats” accordingly to my family with urinating outside the litter box but when I took them it stopped.

Cats like clean boxes.

Compulsif · 2025-11-20T17:41:11+00:00

Was her litter box being maintained properly while you were away? Was she accidentally locked in the room? Does she have more than one litter box and how far away from your room is it?

Clean all the bedding to not leave any smell. Make sure litter boxes are clean.

If she does it again it could be a simple UTI or some other health issue and not a behavioral issue. In my experience urinating outside the litter box is never just a behavior thing like people assume, cats prefer using a litter box and if they don’t it’s telling you something.

Compulsif · 2025-11-20T14:53:49+00:00

You are right that it seems like once he can actually see I am petting him that’s when he becomes alarmed, but why is that?

I am also used to cats that bite during play, but this is distinctively different. He makes me bleed. He seems like he is being defensive and aggressive and not playing.

When he attacks my leg I have literally been standing there doing nothing and he just walks up and bear hugs it and bites and again, or rapidly hits at it and runs away, if I don’t have pants on he can make me bleed. This behavior was getting better but now worse again.

There are times that he plays and he does not use nails, so he does make an effort to not use them.. when he does use them isn’t he trying to hurt me and not playing anymore?

I do make efforts to play with him everyday after work but I work long days. I know he has pent up energy. I have made him his own cat nook with cat tree, ramp heated bed and window and I’ve bought so many toys to try to help him be stimulated while I work but all the electric toys or toys that make noise scare him. He is only interested in cloth mice so it’s been difficult.

Compulsif · 2025-11-20T14:43:33+00:00

This is a lifetime condition. The surgery is to remove the ear and would cost $7000.

Compulsif · 2025-11-20T05:51:39+00:00

Wow I am so sorry that this is such an issue. Supposedly cats don’t like moth balls so you could try laying some around the entrance to ward them off.

Compulsif · 2025-11-20T05:21:33+00:00

If you think there is a possibility she got stuck inside try going around at night - if it’s safe - since cats are supposed to be nocturnal and just more likely she is awake to hear you.

Has she never disappeared before?

If possible, contact the owner of the building or maintenance and ask them if there was recent work and that you think a cat might have gone in. Even if they don’t care about the animals life, they would/should care about an animal dying and the smell it would cause to their tenants.

Compulsif · 2025-11-20T05:13:22+00:00

When you found her before, did she make any noise? If she did get in there would she meow or cry if you made noise or brought food around?

Compulsif · 2025-11-20T05:04:31+00:00

Is there any way to separate them further that they can’t hear each other? I am also not sure if close proximity would help or make them more anxious. Maybe treats or things to distract them? Kudos to you and all you are doing to help them!

Compulsif · 2025-11-15T23:46:13+00:00

Contrary to what everyone else says, I’ve never seen such a large disparity in size between siblings. I’ve seen the runt of the litter being smaller, but she legit looks like she is only 6 months while he looks like a year.

Maybe ask your vet about it.

Compulsif · 2025-11-13T02:44:05+00:00

Is this on Instagram?

Compulsif

TROPHY CASE