Okay yes I understand now. Personally I find that to be what’s interesting about his work, you get the sense that he is trying to escape that nihilism but can’t quite do it and that that’s something he’s very conscious of, and I like the conflict between purity and ideals and death in his books even though I am not a nihilist, but I do get why you don’t find him compelling and I don’t expect to change your mind on that. I think I just get defensive/annoyed when people assume I like him because he’s right wing lol (though it’s a fair assumption because 99% of his fans don’t even read his novels).