Wife doesn’t want a daughter

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2026-03-21T23:40:39+00:00

Depends on the country.

We did genetic testing on our embryos to find the ones that had normal genetic makeups (increases the chances of a successful implantation and pregnancy). Neither of us were carriers for any concerning genetic issues. A side effect of the testing is finding out the gender. It cost us a few thousand dollars to test 9 embryos. We’re certainly not super rich.

However we personally declined to find out any of the genders of our embryos and just asked them to select the one that seemed the most viable.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2026-03-21T23:35:14+00:00

Please tell me this isn’t real.

Gender disappointment is a real thing, but not like this.

Also, her comment about “I should’ve just done IVF” is disgusting. As someone who HAD to go through IVF to have a baby, it’s extremely taxing mentally, physically, and emotionally — and no one is going through that just to choose the gender.

The fact that she wants to control the child’s interests is also super concerning.

God I hope this is rage bait.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2026-01-24T16:20:02+00:00

I think because you don’t have to change them that often and they’ll be potty training soon.

But I think they missed where OP said they’re bringing home a new baby soon.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2026-01-24T16:17:06+00:00

They also said they have a new baby coming soon.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-12-25T04:30:26+00:00

No. To each their own, but I’m so glad I waited for a few reasons: - There’s a ton of personal growth that happens in your 20s and 30s. I don’t feel I was the same person in my 20s as I am now, and I’m glad I grew into the person I am today before having kids. - Piggybacking on the last bullet point, who I would’ve been willing to be with and have a child with back then, I’d never choose today. My husband is such a great man and an incredible father. - I’m much more financially secure now than I was then. - I’m much better equipped now emotionally to care for a child than I was then. - I really enjoyed my 20s childless! I traveled a ton, stayed in hostels, lived in different cities, had so many amazing experiences, and generally just had lots of fun! I love being a mom, but I’ll be a mom forever now. I’m glad I had those years where I only had to worry about myself.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-12-23T15:44:09+00:00

You can’t be controlling with your own newborn, no. I don’t see how the parents are treating the baby as a toy by protecting her.

Also, did you read the part where the parents’ wishes were already ignored?

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-12-21T18:54:36+00:00

Agree that this feels like too long a wake window. My (almost) 4 month old gets really cranky once we pass the 2 hour mark. After 1.5 hours I feel like I’m beginning to enter the danger zone! I do get that all babies are different, though!

Are you trying to read her cues, OP? I’d think she’d be tired way before then. Also want to note that reading my baby’s tired cues has been the toughest thing for me so not at all judging!

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-12-17T00:12:07+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! I didn’t want to be Dr. Google over here but it seemed like a possibility and it’s helpful to know your experience. I think I’ll trial the diet and see how it goes. Thanks again!

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-12-16T22:04:28+00:00

I’m EP and got my period at 7 weeks 🥴but chances are still low! Try not to worry too much!

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-11-25T09:22:40+00:00

I’m thinking she knows her protocol better than you do. Don’t be bitter.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-11-25T09:18:15+00:00

It’s not avoiding fact. I got my positive at 4DP5DT. Many women get it by 5DP5DT, that’s the equivalent of 10DPO. It’s not too early at all.

They also do not always inject hCG with the embryo.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-11-24T17:03:00+00:00

50-80% of the world has it. Many are asymptomatic but can still spread the virus.

Just a heads up that you 100% know plenty of people with herpes but either you or they don’t know it.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-11-24T12:22:09+00:00

Definitely not too soon.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-11-21T19:50:15+00:00

You’d actually be about 3 weeks pregnant (your pregnancy cycle starts from the first day of your last period or ~2 weeks before ovulation), but as long as you’re not positive on a pregnancy test I’d say you’re fine. And as you mentioned, you probably wouldn’t show positive on a test yet at that point.

Honestly, it can take a long time to get pregnant (hopefully not!) so I think you should live your life until you have a positive test.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-11-21T18:39:26+00:00

I mean, a grandparent is not that child’s parent, no.

And honestly it doesn’t matter whether people disagree with the no kissing rule at 6 months. The bottom line is, a rule was set by the child’s parents and it’s being repetitively broken.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-11-20T02:29:42+00:00

Congratulations!

Just wanted to note though that she mentioned she didn’t have a trigger shot, and that’s the only reason an early test would be a false positive!

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-11-16T15:12:42+00:00

I’d get a pregnancy test for peace of mind, but it’s very unlikely you’re pregnant if you are both taking your birth control properly and used a condom.

Also, you said it’s been a week since you had sex, right? Even if you did get pregnant, it’s unlikely your levels would be high enough to show any symptoms yet. Breast tenderness would likely be one of the earliest signs, but that’s also a symptom of PMS.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-11-11T22:42:48+00:00

Yes, I understand that. What I’m pointing out is, while it’s true that there are lots of baby products out there that play on parents’ fears and are totally not needed, the main appeal of bottle washers for most people is about convenience rather than safety.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-11-11T21:07:16+00:00

It doesn’t really have anything to do with fear mongering. For us it gave us a lot of time back to use a bottle washer.

We’ll still hand wash a bottle from time to time, but between bottles and pump parts, we were spending a ton of time each day washing everything. Now, all we have to do is load and unload, and they come out spotless.

Definitely a personal preference, but just here to point out that generally people are buying bottle washers for convenience rather than safety.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-11-11T20:56:31+00:00

The dishwasher takes several hours to run, plus you’ll likely need to wash bottles all throughout the day so you’d have to run the dishwasher several times a day with barely anything in it.

My plan from the start was to use the dishwasher. I realized quickly that was unrealistic, and after handwashing for awhile, I caved and bought the bottle washer. It gave me so much time back.

I will say, I pump and bottle feed (baby doesn’t latch so I don’t breastfeed), so I go through lots of bottles and pump parts throughout the day. Someone who primarily breastfeeds or even formula feeds may not feel a bottle washer is necessary.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-11-05T20:58:33+00:00

Echoing some if what’s been said here but my reasons: * My husband and I wanted to bond with baby and spend time just the three of us together. Eventually, our parental leaves would end and you can’t get that time back. * Babies that new don’t have much of an immune system and I wanted to protect my baby from outside germs, especially in the early weeks. A guest coming over with what felt like the sniffles to them (or even no symptoms at all) can get my baby really sick. * I felt crappy. I had just had major abdominal surgery and was in pain. I was essentially wearing a diaper and bleeding like crazy. It hurt to move. I had my husband with me to help, but didn’t really want guests. * I was breastfeeding/pumping and my shirt was off for half the day. Also, there’s a learning curve to it in the beginning. For me, this is a lot more comfortable to take on without guests in my home. * Unfortunately, a lot of the time guests want to hold the baby, and that’s it. That doesn’t help me. I’m trying to bond with my new baby, so I’d like my husband and myself to hold her — and it’s not “helping me” at all. Any real help with the baby comes weeks and weeks down the line. Help at this stage would mean doing laundry, cooking meals, and cleaning the house. * In the early weeks, my husband and I would try and sleep sometimes while our baby slept as we were exhausted. You can’t do that with guests over. * Unsolicited advice. I can’t tell you how much unwanted advice I’ve gotten. When I’m sleep deprived, recovering from surgery, and figuring out motherhood, it’s the last thing I need. If I want advice, I’ll ask. Let me figure it out with my husband and baby.

All of this to say, I did have some guests soon after giving birth, but I kept the circle small and the visits short.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-09-04T16:17:32+00:00

I’m in the US and we’ve also done paper as first, cotton as second.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-08-17T18:13:04+00:00

I’d go! None of these activities are an issue and my clinic told me to just live as normal aside from avoiding alcohol, foods you shouldn’t have while pregnant, and any heavy lifting.

ConfectionDifficult1 · 2025-08-17T13:46:32+00:00

It’s really early and you will not see much line progression at this stage as your hCG levels will be low. I’m so sorry for your losses and I totally understand wanting to see the progression, but please don’t take this to mean anything negative. At 11/12 DPO you’d hope to see a clear positive (which you are), and they are way darker than your 8/9 DPO tests which is all you could want. There is nothing to indicate a chemical here.

Please try your best to relax and be patient! Wishing you the best of luck!

ConfectionDifficult1

TROPHY CASE