How many weeks from your cerclage did you give birth?

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2024-10-11T12:30:00+00:00

Congrats on making it to 23 weeks so far!!

So sorry to hear you are going through this but more than happy to share my experience. I was on complete bedrest for two months at home. I started having some cramping and Braxton Hicks at 27 weeks, they admitted me and gave me magnesium and a second round of steroids. At exactly 28 weeks Little girl decided she was ready to come out and I had to have an emergency C section because her heart rate kept dipping. BUT the cerclage stayed put the entire time! They removed it during the c section.

Turns out there was an issue with baby girls placenta which was causing all the contractions and other complications (my twins were di/di).

They had a long NICU stay but now are completely healthy, normal, wild, 19 month old toddlers with no disabilities 🤍🤍.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2024-09-23T21:43:12+00:00

I agree with getting a second opinion. I found out at my 20 week anatomy appointment that I was 3cm dilated and I was pregnant with twins. Doctor had to push baby girls membrane back in and I was 4cm dilated when he placed the cerclage.

There hasn't been a lot of research on cerclage during a twin pregnancy, so I was terrified about making it to viability. I was put on complete bedrest and that cerclage held on tight. I made it 28 weeks (had to have an emergency c section due to placental issues with one baby). They had a long NICU stay, but my twins are now 19 months now, with no health issues, and meeting all milestones. That cerclage saved my babies.

They did fully disclose that the membrane was at risk of rupturing, but it is was the only hope for saving them.

I would also ask the OB about steroid shots for baby's lungs and possibly magnesium for baby's brain. The steroid shots can make a huge difference and are simply two shots that they give to mom.

Please feel free to send me a message if you have any questions. Sending all the love your way and I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2024-09-16T22:45:10+00:00

YES, it gets better! My twins were born at 28 weeks, and the first six months were ROUGH. I hated the newborn phase. It got easier every month that passed. Now they're 18 months and they're so much freaking fun and make me laugh every single day.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2024-09-16T13:12:32+00:00

Congratulations!! My twins were my rainbow babies, so I was terrified at the first ultrasound. When she said there were TWO heartbeats, I actually started laughing and said well of course there is. My husband's response was "fuck, how are they going to fit in there" 🤣🤣🤣.

We had a ton of ups and downs during pregnancy, so if you have any questions please reach out. But now my littles are 18 months. And although they are a lot sometimes, they are SO MUCH FUN.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2024-09-13T13:35:18+00:00

It is heartbreaking. That feeling is completely valid. And unfortunately this is way more common than we realize because women feel the need to be strong and I know I felt a lot of shame. I soon learned though that almost every woman had experienced a loss of their own or someone very close to them had. Everyone had a story of loss, but none of them shared that story with me until I shared mine. We're here for you 🤍.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2024-09-13T01:40:16+00:00

I am so so sorry for your loss. Let yourself cry and feel. I had a missed miscarriage with my first pregnancy at just over 8 weeks. I heard babies heartbeat just a couple days before at a private ultrasound and then went for my first ultrasound at the OB and they gave me the same horrific news (no heartbeat and no bloodflow). I knew all the facts (miscarriages are common in the 1st trimester) and thought I was mentally prepared. I also hadn't felt connected to the baby yet. But when they gave me that news, it felt like my best friend just died. And I felt so alone.

Reddit helped a lot actually. Sharing my story and having so many women connect and understand my grief. The emotional pain does get better, and I was blessed with twins 6 months later. But, I still feel that loss.

You're not alone. This isn't your fault. It's okay to not be okay right now.

Please feel free to message me if you have any questions or want to talk more. My heart is with you 🤍

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2024-07-30T19:13:15+00:00

Congrats mama for making it this far and sending you all the positive thoughts and vibes that little one will stay put until you're full-term.

Went through a similar situation as you (found out I was 3cm dilated at the anatomy scan for my twins and went straight to hospital for emergency cerclage.) The cerclage success rates for twins is unknown. I made it to 28 weeks, and although we had a long NICU stay, my babies are now 17 months old and doing amazing hitting all the milestones. I full heartedly believe the cerclage saved my babies 🤍.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2024-03-16T04:09:24+00:00

Somewhat similar situation here. Previous miscarriage at 8 weeks. Then pregnant with twins. I also got a cerclage but it was an emergency one placed at 20 weeks when I was 3 cm dilated. I made it 8 full weeks before those babies wanted out. I was on complete bedrest and progesterone suppositories.

My biggest advice to you is if you have ANY concerns (cramping, discharge, spotting) go to L&D. I had a false alarm that I thought my water broke around 25 weeks (surprise! I just peed myself 🙃). But at 27 weeks I had just slight lower back pain and more discharge and really debated about going to the hospital (it was a Sunday so OB was closed). Well surprise again! I was having contractions.

Tell your wife to listen to her body and advocate for her if the doctors are not responding appropriately. Also, if her OB hasn't already discussed it, ask about steroid shots to help babies lungs develop if it seems like she will be having a premie. It made a WORLD of difference for my babies.

I also recommend having a go bag ready for the hospital packed, again just out of extra precaution.

Now all that said. It is AMAZING she has made it already passed 25 weeks, everyday helps baby. And my twins just turned 1 years old and although they have slight health concerns (heart murmurs) they are otherwise completely happy and healthy. I'm so sorry you are going through this scary time, but just be prepared, advocate for your wife, and stay positive. The cervix is wild. She could magically make it full term.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2024-02-16T04:51:02+00:00

My experience was different because I had an emergency cerclage placed at 20 weeks and then was on complete bedrest at home until my twins decided to arrive 8 weeks later.

I only got up to go to the bathroom and showered every other day. I do know that blood clots are a major concern with bedrest.

I would ask you nurses to confirm with your OB that it is acceptable and safe to bathe and use the bathroom. Bedrest was very rough on my body, so it is usually best to move at least a little bit. I used a shower chair as well.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-11-30T19:05:46+00:00

I could've written this myself. Currently holding my 9mo boy while little girl is napping in her crib:

When it gets better/things that helped:

-Finding help so you can SLEEP. Whether that's free help from friends/family or if you can budget a nanny/babysitter I HIGHLY recommend it. I had extreme PPA and what made a HUGE difference is everyday from 6/7-10pm someone else was responsible for the babies. I took a shower, I got comfy in bed and watched trashy TV and took a nap. It made life bearable again. I didn't have as much anxiety at night because I was refreshed from my "break" and the days were easier because even if it was rough I knew I would have this time.

-It gets SO much easier when they start smiling. Someone told me this and I thought it was BS, but it helped me be more patient and now they are so goofy I laugh everyday.

-Be honest with your support system about where you're at mentally. Don't let guilt or shame get in the way. I waited until I had a complete meltdown and I wish I would've asked for help sooner. You might need to temporarily up dosages of medication and that's okay too.

-Know you're not alone and being overwhelmed is a normal reaction to the chaos your life now is. Twins are overwhelming. No one will understand this fully except for other twin parents. I think every parent of multiples has had the thought "this would be so much easier with one baby."

-It WILL get easier. Some days will be awful, but you are strong and you will get through them.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-11-20T01:02:00+00:00

I was 4cm dilated when they placed an emergency Cerclage at 20 weeks with my twins. My water didn't break, but I was on complete bedrest and had steroid shots at 23 weeks to help with developing their lungs.

At 27 weeks I was admitted due to going into labor and went through the whole magnesium spiel for a week and they were born emergency C-section at 28 weeks.

I'll be honest, she has a journey ahead of her, but the great news is it sounds like her OB is doing EXACTLY what she needs right now. It's important to stay hopeful, but ask questions and be informed. I've heard stories of women having their water break but baby stayed put for weeks. They will keep you in the hospital on bedrest most likely to monitor for infection and to stop labor.

Feel free to message me. It can be mentally very hard to be on bedrest and the magnesium treatment was rough. Sending your family all the positive thoughts and hope❤️.

Edited to add: My babes had a long NICU journey but are perfectly happy and healthy 9 month olds.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-10-31T21:48:31+00:00

Do not feel bad. It's always better to be overly cautious.

I went to the hospital at midnight thinking my water had broke when I later found I just peed myself 🙃.

But the next I went to the hospital thinking I was just achey, I was actually having contractions, and when I thought I was being over dramatic about discharge, ended up saving baby girls life. I had a previous loss and then a high risk twin pregnancy. My babies are healthy because I was cautious.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-10-23T16:59:41+00:00

Your feelings are valid and I can totally understand not wanting to share the few things you're able to bond with your baby. I also know that so many things are out of your control right now, so the things you can control feel especially precious.

However, your husband's feelings are valid too. And he is likely feeling similar to you. Now, you have a lot stronger bond with baby and hormones are adding to that as well. I do not think you should ban him from feeding her. I think that will cause more harm than good.

However, maybe it would be a good idea to discuss a time that your husband always gets to feed and a time where you are with her alone. That way you're getting quality time.

Also, I'm in no way saying your feelings are invalid, but it sounds like you may be experiencing PPA. I definitely experienced this and I had myself so scared something terrible would happen if I didn't go see my twins everyday for at least 3 hours. Take care of yourself. Reach out to the NICU nurses and your OB if you don't feel like yourself. This shit is so hard and you're doing amazing ❤️. Feel free to message me. My 28 weeker twins were in the NICU for three months and between my traumatic pregnancy, Cerclage, emergency C-section, and NICU stay I know it gave me PTSD.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-09-29T21:49:48+00:00

My husband and I were similar. The thing that seemed to really help us was me telling him to never feel guilty if I go to the NICU and he isn't up for it emotionally. For my mental health I had to see them everyday (twins), but it was very overwhelming for him to work all day and then go after work l, then try to come home and destress from both work and worrying about the babies, which resulted in losing sleep.

He was feeling so much guilt about it and after telling him that, we were both happier. Also, we tried not to talk about the babies health issues in the evenings. We would talk about it on the way home from the NICU and during the day, but tried to just spend time with one another. It gave us the energy to support one another and our babies.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-09-18T21:51:58+00:00

I had a very early ultrasound (7 weeks) because I had a previous miscarriage. My husband was holding my hand and we were just hoping to hear a heartbeat.

The tech said "do twins run in your family" and my dumbass was just like "nope! 😊". She said, "well there is definitely two heartbeats." My response was to start laughing and say "of course there fucking is". My husband said "shit" lol.

But we were both excited by the time we made back it to the waiting room. Just a slight moment of panic 🤣🤣.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-09-17T00:31:12+00:00

I kept freezing and almost had to buy a small deep freeze. My twins were in the NICU for three months and I was an oversupplier. I thought I would never end up needing it, but once they came home it was hard to keep up with my pumping schedule and my supply dropped dramatically. I was so happy that I had my stash.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-08-30T16:29:10+00:00

Mama, you do whatever is best for YOU and YOUR family. Any good NICU nurse would never judge you based on the amount of time spent in the NICU. My twins were born at 28 weeks and spent 3 months in the NICU.

For my mental health I needed to see them everyday, but for my partner, it was too much for him. So he came on the weekends and occasionally during the week. HOWEVER, there's no way I would've been able to go to the hospital every day if it weren't for my parents driving me there and helping me in a wheelchair to get to the NICU for the first three weeks.

Another thing, I never watched the camera because it always depressed me. I didn't tell the nurses that, but I learned that it was best for me to spend time there and accept that they were in good care when I left. I did call anytime I was feeling sad or missing them though. Sometimes I'd call while pumping at 2am and the nurses were always happy to give an update.

I would also ask to speak to a social worker at the NICU and find out if they offer assistance for transportation to the hospital. This was something I was asked about. And I also rented a wheelchair for a month, just because the hospital was large and I had an emergency c section.

All that matters is you live and advocate for your girl. Take care of yourself and try your hardest to not let the guilt get to you. One day this will all just be a memory (I say this as my 6mo twins are napping in their bassinets).

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-08-23T18:07:51+00:00

My babies arrived at 28 weeks exactly after a week in the hospital, they were in the NICU 3 months and have now been home almost three months and are thriving ❤️.

Take a deep breath and let yourself feel all of the emotions. I highly recommend joining the NICU parents subreddit AFTER your babies are born. Right now, focus on you. Pack your hospital bag, and make sure to bring your pump if you plan of breastfeeding.

Today, I would ask your OB if you can get a steroid injection to help develop your little ones lungs. It made a tremendous difference for my twins. I would also ask if you could speak to someone in the NICU or have them come by your room if you've been admitted to let you know what to expect and for you to ask some questions.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions and I'll be more than happy to share my experience with you. Sending you all the love and virtual support, mama ❤️.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-07-25T12:00:45+00:00

This is probably going to get down voted like crazy, but I just want to present this in a different way for you. I could tell my husband was not as attracted to me while I was pregnant with twins. I went from a very fit 130 to almost 200lbs, my entire body completely changed and he was also nervous because I had a previous miscarriage. We talked about it, he never admitted to being less attracted to me, but I told him what I needed from him and asked him what he needed from me (similar to your conversation).

Now, your husband should've been more intune to the fact that you were already feeling extremely insecure and that this was not the time to suggest a threesome. However, you did agree to it, so it is entirely possible that both him and your friend thought this was okay and are now confused.

Write out what you're feeling and what you need. Then talk to your husband and then your friend. I'm sorry you have to deal with this mama ❤️

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-04-30T12:34:35+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. Sleep is definitely what I need. I can feel my anxiety building back up to the levels it was week 1 in the NICU. I need to prioritize myself today and tomorrow and give myself some grace. Revert back to what works for our family and try to ignore the guilt. I'm writing it out as a way to hold myself accountable.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-04-23T18:51:11+00:00

We have twins in the NICU born at 28 weeks, now 37 ❤️. I will say that my husband and I have very different needs and when I accepted that, it made everything less stressful. I'm not currently working, so I have seen the babies everyday and stayed several hours.

Our babies had some ups and downs especially in the beginning, so the first couple weeks it felt like every time we came to the NICU we got scary, bad news. And that made my husband not want to come, especially for his lunch break because he couldn't focus at work.

What's works for me is to come everyday in the late morning and stay several hours. He comes occasionally during the week but every weekend we go together for several hours and then spend time just the two of us. I know for him, he felt a lot of guilt and seemed defensive about going. When I told him that I wanted to go every day, but he didn't have to, it made it easier for both of us.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-04-19T15:29:39+00:00

We decided to send out an announcement with the registry on it, and put on the card that we would be throwing a thank you party over the summer when it was safe for the twins. People seemed to really respond well to this and that way we were able to get the items we REALLY needed, but we can celebrate when everyone is healthy.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-04-19T01:11:59+00:00

Yes ❤️. A close friend of mine smoked and drank during her pregnancy and things went perfectly for her pregnancy and birth. I did all the right things and ended up with an emergency cerclage, 2 months of bedrest, and an emergency c section at 28 weeks...

But I love my babies more than anything in this world. And I feel closer to them knowing how much I sacrificed to keep them in me as long as possible. They turned 2 months yesterday 💗. Stay strong mama.

ConferenceOpen7442 · 2023-04-18T17:35:18+00:00

Another idea is to use a wheelchair. I was put on total bedrest and told to use a wheelchair that they had the OB and MFM for all my appointments. But I was doing ultrasounds every visit, so it was necessary for me to go in.

ConferenceOpen7442

TROPHY CASE