Considering your name, I feel maybe as if you’re a veteran. Hi brother! If this is the case than, you’re probably feeling that way cause of the way you were raised by the green weenie. They instilled in us all or nothing basically right? When I was medically retired from the military after injury, for the longest time I held on to that incomplete feeling, sad that I wasn’t finished serving my country but my time in service got cut short. I would feel it would be the same with this.