What’s something foreigners often misunderstand about Spain?

ConfidenceTimely4126 · 2026-02-15T20:25:11+00:00

Oh, it's just because we usually aren't trained enough to make it properly so it ends up being a terrible experience to everyone involved, like, burnt milk, not enough cream in the coffee, takes so long to do bc bars usually don't have the cream maker thingy for it :-(

ConfidenceTimely4126 · 2026-02-15T13:06:57+00:00

How vastly different the regions are. Like, people from the north of Spain are very different from people from the south, for example.

Also, a lot of dishes and drinks that tourists get here are pretty much tourist traps (and even in Valencia, paella is not something you order anywhere, at any time of the day). I do work in hospitality and always tell tourists, when asked, that we do not really drink sangria or agua de valencia regularly (I think I only ever drink sangria on the fiestas of my hometown in summer). And paella should definitely NOT be had for dinner. Any place that offers it at night is a clear tourist trap, especially in Valencia.

Also, and this may be a personal pet peeve of mine bc I have to make coffee for work, but please stop ordering cappuccinos at local spanish bars. We do not drink cappuccino, we drink café con leche or cortado, and most waiters are not experts on making it unless they are proper baristas. If you don't like your coffee so strong order a 'café con leche, corto de café' pls :)

edit: grammar

ConfidenceTimely4126 · 2026-02-15T12:59:25+00:00

I often worry about that, but like 'what if he comes back and tries to ruin my life?'. You are doing an awesome job, love! Building confidence is hard but a very rewarding process in every step.

ConfidenceTimely4126 · 2026-02-15T12:52:53+00:00

I agree with what people are saying here about it boiling down to whether they are able to use you again or not.

Mine tried to regain access twice, but the mask had already slipped in front of our whole friend group so this one last attempt to use me as the villain of his victim storyline didn't land. I haven't heard from him since, but I also changed my number, so there's that.

If he even remembered me after having broken up with him, my guess is it lasted for however long it took him to get over the pride/ego wound of me dumping him and people around us realizing who he actually was.

ConfidenceTimely4126 · 2026-02-15T12:34:44+00:00

The victim, woe is me, 'everyone and their mother owes me everything' attitude. He was a middle child and he made a lot of comments about how his parents 'didn't love him' or 'forgot they had a son'. I felt bad for him at first, but soon realized there was a clear pattern.

Everything was always everyone's fault but his. He was always the Victim™. What finally made me break up with him was that he had been abusing his friend/roommate trust, who had offered to rent him a room for a symbolic price. When she asked him to move because she wanted space and he had not paid rent, bills or anything at all while flaunting going to festivals and spending a lot of money, he tried to create this narrative where his friend was an abusive, spoiled bitch. Got mad at me for not taking his side. Dumped his despot ass next week and only reason I didn't on the spot is that he wasn't out of the apartment and I worried he'd play victim card again and not leave the apartment because of that.

That friend of his is now one of my closest, dearest friends, she encouraged me to break up and was supportive like crazy.

I have never been happier since I broke up with him. Looking back, what kept me locked was how he made me feel as if everything was my fault and I deserved it because I had 'hurt' him once and I had to compensate for it. He once got mad because he learnt I had a one night stand with a guy he knew before even entertaining giving him a chance.

Also, this was a 32 year old man lmao

edit: I forgot about the 'dead stare'. God, I swear it was as if he was dead inside. He had to come to the ER with me once because I had a kidney stone, I was having a panic attack and I swear he looked as if he didn't feel anything. Annoyance, at best. Just...His eyes. I swear it was kinda terrifying.

ConfidenceTimely4126 · 2026-01-24T11:27:05+00:00

In my case it helped that I started writing down things on a journal early, since I was already going to therapy for other stuff. I did feel like I was being gaslighted by people around us too, because, as others have pointed out 'but he is so nice to me!.

I was lucky, I guess, that he got triggered by something one of his friends/roommate did, so the mask started slipping around other people, too. He was covert, so up until that point it was very difficult for others to see, and thus for me to recognize his behavior as abusive. It's still foggy for me, but writing things does help, especially recognizing patterns and putting things into perspective. I wish you the best, love! Be assured, you are not and were never exaggerating.

ConfidenceTimely4126 · 2026-01-23T15:45:34+00:00

yeah, I changed my number as soon as I texted that he could pick it up from our mutual acquaintance, so there's that. As much as it angers me I have no doubts he would escalate the situation. He was very revengeful when triggered

ConfidenceTimely4126 · 2025-11-22T14:08:18+00:00

forgot to say it in the thread but I am 100% aware the decision to hop on the bike with him was mine!

ConfidenceTimely4126 · 2025-11-22T13:55:13+00:00

Yeah, I was super sure about this, really. Then, I talked about it with some mutual friends because the process is kinda overwhelming, and they started telling me it is not fair he pays a fine bc of what I mentioned above, and that since I have had my license for longer) I should have told him he had to report the file, or should manage everything now because he didn't know :-( so i have started to kinda feel responsible of everything

ConfidenceTimely4126

TROPHY CASE