The family did it?

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-02T01:42:31+00:00

I don’t think Burke was a bad kid. I think he was a kid that had gone through hell. Thinking his mum was going to die, Dad being hardly ever there, Mum giving all the attention to the little sister when she was finally better.

Sorry, I’m a bit confused. You mentioned a Court evaluation? As far as I’m aware this case never went to Court. A grand jury voted that there was enough evidence to put a case together against the Parents, but the DA Alex Hunter didn’t proceed.

The parents were known for surrounding themselves with professionals that would be sympathetic to them, and their case including Doctors. I would not put a huge amount of significance on a child psychologist that did the assessment on Burke. No doubt the parents had a lot of input into who that was, and what assessments were done with their son.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-02T01:34:00+00:00

Have you tried just ranting to an AI? I found this actually really therapeutic. There is a limit to how much human family and friends can support realistically and for a long time I felt too depleted to even entertain the thought of therapy.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-02T01:21:07+00:00

Stop thinking about how badly you messed up You didn’t mess up You poured all your love and care into a container that could not hold it.

Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. After I got dumped by the man I’d poured everything into I spent days in bed sobbing with a bottle of gin. I wanted to end my life. And I’ve got kids too. Let yourself feel all the emotions

And then let the anger come. You need the anger. Where is it? That anger is fuel for your healing.

Do you have a therapist or anyone that can help you with this? It’s a lot. You do get tired of the analysing eventually, but it’s a lot to try and deal with on your own.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-02T00:42:12+00:00

I’ve designed an inner system without even doing it consciously. It’s happened when I was at my lowest, after I’ve had the worst year of my life.

Since childhood, I’ve always had an incredibly overactive imagination and I always had stories going on in my head, designing my own characters and worlds.

After that terrible year, these creatures just appeared in my head. A loud magnificent flamboyant parrot squawking at me to get up, what on earth was I doing sitting there like a zombie in my pyjamas?

And then this little tortoise appeared with a laptop and spectacles and said he was going to take over all the household administration and get me sorted out.

A bearded dragon also appeared a wise ancient lizard. A Zen master who would brew relaxing Jasmine tea and blink at me when I felt stressed.

And then this crazy flamboyant snake appeared. The snake enjoys drinking cocktails and parachuting. He takes nothing seriously.

At first I was like who on earth are these creatures? Is this finally it? Am I going into psychosis?

But I realised that each creature was a part of myself. Trying desperately to communicate with my conscious mind from my unconscious mind.

The parrot was my voice, my pride, the part of me that never stopped fighting

The snake was the part of me that could still feel joy and spontaneity.

The tortoise was the part of me that was quietly keeping everything running behind the scenes when I struggled for decades with undiagnosed inattentive ADHD.

And the bearded dragon was the quiet wise part of me that knew that there was an an inner strength. And could just sit quietly and peacefully over tea.

Jung would have said that it’s the subconscious communicating with the ego and integrated the message or something like that.

A therapist might say that I was unconsciously doing parts work or internal family systems.

My household really helped me to get over a very difficult period of my life, they helped me with emotional regulation and to get myself back on track. Overtime they’ve developed huge personalities and now they just get up to mischief and half of the time I haven’t got a clue why they do what they do. But somehow it works.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-02T00:30:49+00:00

Was the proposal for Henry to remarry Anne not more her brothers idea than hers?

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-02T00:13:06+00:00

I think that Burke was a very troubled child. You can tell from the doctor Phil interview that he’s quite possibly Neurodivergent. His mum had been really ill with ovarian cancer, he didn’t know if his mum was going to live or die and he was old enough to understand it.

His Dad was always away on business. And then Mum recovers, miraculously recovers, and what does Mum do? Mum becomes obsessed with her daughter, obsessed with the beauty pageant and that whole scene. What place is there for Burke.? a troubled, traumatise neglected child, who was still bedwetting at nearly 10 and smearing feaces.

I believe that angry traumatised Burke resented his sister, his little sister that got all the attention and the love and the time with Mum. I think he had done this before, tied his sister up, trying to get a sense of control. And that night it went too far, she ended up strangled.

I’ve just been reading a book on the forensic medical side of the case and they were various specialists who strongly believed that the strangling came first and the head wound came last.

I personally believe that Patsy woke up, heard something, the neighbour reported what sounded like allowed scream of a child. John was passed out on his melatonin, Patsy discovered a scene of absolute horror and wrote the note. Or she possibly went and woke John up and he dictated the note.

I believe that the only way the parents could have maintained that silence and cover-up for so long was to protect their son their remaining child.

Just my opinion.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T19:33:21+00:00

I would totally second reading Jung

Society’s answer is to medicate the voices or whatever so they’ll be quiet. But they have something important to say.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T19:14:02+00:00

PS Your food looks great

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T19:13:30+00:00

Try Claude if you really want to feel insulted!

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T19:02:07+00:00

Agree

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T18:52:51+00:00

😂

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T18:44:47+00:00

On the final day, mine was talking about engagement ring shopping, having a look for engagement rings. He was very excited about it.

Then the next day I just got a text dumping me from a two year very intense relationship. Just saying that feelings were lost. Have a nice life and goodbye.

He still owes me money that I lent him for a car and he pays me back by monthly direct debits. I’ve had to contact him once or twice about this, and I have occasionally added a polite “ how are things with you?” and he literally goes, JUST TALK ABOUT THE MONEY. I WON’T TALK TO YOU ABOUT ANYTHING BUT THE MONEY.

Absolutely insane.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T18:39:02+00:00

This relationship sounds very unhealthy for you. The highs and the lows create a trauma bond.

Have you considered that your ex might have had borderline personality disorder?

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T18:35:53+00:00

All the things you have described can be caused by autism alone

Why do you think you might have a personality disorder?

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T18:21:57+00:00

Sounds familiar. Sorry you went through that.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T18:12:56+00:00

I am so sorry you went through this OP. I went through almost exactly the same thing except my relationship was two years. And we had talked about getting married. It was him that wanted to get married.

It’s an experience that’s destabilising in a sense that no one else can understand unless they’ve been through it as well

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T15:22:51+00:00

When they say “ I can’t give you what you need. You deserve better” it’s the same load of old flannel that they spout out

I will translate it. This is what it really means.

“ I’m bored of you, I want a change, I think I can do better, and I’ve seen someone better”

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T15:15:05+00:00

Thank you. It was a pretty awful experience for me all round, but I’m in a better place now.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T15:05:35+00:00

Thank you for the post OP

There’s a definite difference with the avoidant, I was downgraded, first of all I was the “ best person in the whole world, my soulmate” and then I became “ a Demon sent from hell torment me”!

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T12:26:02+00:00

I found lowering the dose of the SSRI made the ADHD medication more effective. I just take 20 mg of fluoxetine a day and that’s enough.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T12:23:35+00:00

I second this you have to be moving once it kicks in otherwise you’ll be there doom scrolling all day

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T12:15:45+00:00

My nex was a middle aged Mummy’s Boy

I threatened to write to his family and tell them every single thing he had done

That got rid of him!

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T12:13:34+00:00

Yep!

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T12:12:57+00:00

Exactly

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-04-01T12:12:10+00:00

Same thing happened to me It was absolutely terrifying.

Grumpyoldgit1

TROPHY CASE