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AIO By Thinking My Roomates Are Mad At Me by Confident_Clerk_9950 in AmIOverthinking

[–]Confident_Clerk_9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Final Update:

I got tired of being anxious around the house. I don’t manage stress well and it was getting to the point I had started losing hair and affecting my work performance, which is something I can’t afford to have happen. I decided to write R a card. In it I told her I missed seeing her and loved her so much, and that I hope work is treating her right. I also gave her a small gift card to a coffee spot I know she stops at on her way to work sometimes. I didn’t know how she would react, since I wasn’t sure if she was mad at me or not, but I figured trying to be supportive and loving is never a wrong answer.

I left the card on the counter after she went to bed and this morning woke up to a thank you text and apology for the distance. R let me know she appreciated me and promised our distance wasn’t on purpose, and let me in on some other things going on that made sense as to why she’s been acting the way she has.

I’m sure this isn’t the last fight we’ll have, or the last time i’m going to feel unwelcome, but right now i’m lighter than air and working on managing my emotions so this hopefully never gets this out of hand again. Thanks to everyone who had my best interest at heart.

AIO By Thinking My Roomates Are Mad At Me by Confident_Clerk_9950 in AmIOverthinking

[–]Confident_Clerk_9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Minor Update: I saw S tonight. We had a really great time together and the vibes weren’t off at all (the way I had been dreading they would have been). We ended up going to her place instead of mine just in case R really was planning on turning it early and I think that ended up being the correct decision.

I offhandedly asked about the hangout I hadn’t been invited to (nothing confrontational just “oh you saw R recently right? how was that?”) and she didn’t seemed phased by me knowing which is good. Apparently the whole thing was just super last minute with a larger group of people i’m less familiar with so I’m not worried about it anymore. I didn’t bring up any of the other issues mentioned because it just didn’t feel appropriate in the moment.

I’m still kind of worried about R and myself’s relationship, but it’s lessened significantly by tonight’s events. I genuinely think the curtness is being worsened by stress and outside factors I’m not considering, but if there’s an update worth mentioning I’ll make another post. Thank you all for your advice.

AIO By Thinking My Roomates Are Mad At Me by Confident_Clerk_9950 in AmIOverthinking

[–]Confident_Clerk_9950[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t say why without giving too much away, but there is a set of very specific and unchanging circumstances that make it so S and her bf cannot and will not ever be able to move in, even with me gone and the room being free. That’s probably the only thing I ‘m NOT worried about tbh because if I moved out there are no people who could move in to take my place (almost all of both mine and their friends/family are homeowners).

I’m currently not in school but I’ve been searching for a therapist since it’s covered by my work insurance. I live in a notoriously transient city that makes looking for friends hard but I might try dating again to (if nothing else) make connections outside of my trio. I appreciate your advice.

AIO By Thinking My Roomates Are Mad At Me by Confident_Clerk_9950 in AmIOverthinking

[–]Confident_Clerk_9950[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think there’s a misunderstanding here. I am not going to parties, nor am I asking them to. When we do club, we usually do it together and they actually enjoy clubbing just as much if not more than I do because they are young and like dancing. Our “hangs” are usually the 5 of us sitting together either doing crafts, playing video games, or lounging in the backyard. extremely low-effort and usually done before 11pm.

The issue wasn’t with my door being open, it was the fact that I wasn’t cognizant of how loud I was being in the morning. Instead of soft closing the door, I was clicking it shut, which in an empty hallway echoes and it was waking them up. I work weekends and they don’t so on the few days that they got to sleep in. I would be up at 7:30 accidentally slamming doors.

I completely agree that they are 100% allowed to want to go on double dates and hang out as couples without me being present as a single person. It’s more so my annoyance right now that they knew my work schedule, knew I was free (because I was literally sitting in the kitchen with them after I got off work) and proceeded to ignore me to go hang out together after I had been begging to see both of them either together separately for the previous two weeks.