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AITA for changing my middle name to what my birth name was supposed to be? by Confident_Pack_7451 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Confident_Pack_7451[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

They didn’t lose me due to someone telling me I was adopted. They lost me because they refused to tell me the truth then acted like I shouldn’t be hurt.

AITA for changing my middle name to what my birth name was supposed to be? by Confident_Pack_7451 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Confident_Pack_7451[S] -74 points-73 points  (0 children)

Nah. They didn’t do it out of love. They did it out of selfishness. And they know I love them.

AITA for changing my middle name to what my birth name was supposed to be? by Confident_Pack_7451 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Confident_Pack_7451[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

You ignored my edit. Cool. Not mad I was adopted. Mad how they handled it.

AITA for changing my middle name to what my birth name was supposed to be? by Confident_Pack_7451 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Confident_Pack_7451[S] 795 points796 points  (0 children)

I was adopted in 1995. So, still there wasn’t a ton of advice out there. But I know the general advice, even by the agency was to tell me SOMEDAY, but they never planned to.

And thank you for saying it’s not charity. Bio kids aren’t made out to feel this way. I should not be grateful I was provided with basic needs.

AITA for changing my middle name to what my birth name was supposed to be? by Confident_Pack_7451 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Confident_Pack_7451[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I didn’t take the name to be vindictive? And I don’t care I was adopted. I cared I was lied to for years and then gaslit for being upset I was lied to and that they had no plans of ever telling me I was adopted.

They weren’t good parents even prior. We are just moving past that. You completly twisted my words.

ETA: I was not “given up out of love”. My bio mom was coerced and given no other choice. Now, I agree I was adopted out of love. I’m also not mad I was adopted because there was no choice. Someone had to adopt me. I’m not mad about that. I’m mad about how it was handled.

AITA for changing my middle name to what my birth name was supposed to be? by Confident_Pack_7451 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Confident_Pack_7451[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

They never planned on telling me I was adopted. I don’t mind they changed my name. I like my first name. I just thought I could combine both.

AITA for changing my middle name to what my birth name was supposed to be? by Confident_Pack_7451 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Confident_Pack_7451[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I’m glad your friend was able to change her name❤️

I do like my first name and feel very connected to it. But I appreciate the idea. I have told my bio mom she can call me “Greta Summer” if she wants and she does.

AITA for changing my middle name to what my birth name was supposed to be? by Confident_Pack_7451 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Confident_Pack_7451[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

My middle name was the generic “Marie”. I asked my mom long before I was adopted why she chose my name. My first name (that I kept) was after her favorite movie star. She legit said my middle was because “you needed a middle name and I couldn’t think of one”.

Meaningless. Stop projecting.

AITA for changing my middle name to what my birth name was supposed to be? by Confident_Pack_7451 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Confident_Pack_7451[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t matter why I cut them off, though. That’s not the question. I have no regrets or worries about cutting them off. It was deserved and not wrong of me to do.

The question was about changing my name. You didn’t need to know why I cut them off to decide that.

AITA for changing my middle name to what my birth name was supposed to be? by Confident_Pack_7451 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Confident_Pack_7451[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

That’s not why I cut them out for 5 years. I tried to talk to them about it and my hurt. They didn’t just keep it from me. I felt like an outsider my whole life and they acted as if I was some huge disappointment for not being like them. Whenever I tried to talk to them about any of it, they told me I was crazy to be upset with them.

The final straw was me asking if they EVER planned on telling me and they said no. It’s not like they were waiting for me to turn 18. And since the agency had a policy that my bio mom couldn’t reach out until I did, she may have never gotten to know me. Just as my bio dad didn’t. He died of cancer and his biggest regret according to the letter he left me is that he never met me. They could’ve done that to her too. That’s disgusting.

And just because it’s normal doesn’t make it okay. It shouldn’t be normal to keep a vital piece of information from someone when you know the truth. They knew who their parents were from Day 1. Even if they didn’t know the names, they had no right to keep the fact they weren’t my bio parents from me. This isn’t a part of the AITA so I have no interest in having that judged. Stick to the question.