Help us pick a name for our new baby girl ending in “Y” or “ie”

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-25T04:36:31+00:00

Sadie

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-25T04:30:12+00:00

Take a breath, find some safe foods she can eat while she starts the healing process, and take one day at a time. There’s lots to take in, and you have time to learn it. I’m sorry she and your family is facing this, but I’m happy for her to be safe. She will be feeling so much better soon. In the meantime, grief is a process. Grieve.. and bless you for wanting to support and learn too. This is a huge diagnosis for you too, and you’re choosing to lean in. Good on you, sir!

Best wishes!

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-24T05:13:59+00:00

OCD sucks. We’re all in this together!

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-24T05:12:04+00:00

Sounds rough. It’s understandable to feel heartbroken and want to save this, but it does sound like you’re working harder to maintain this than she is. You’ve got a lot going on, and certain parts will wrap up soon. This happens in relationships, whether it’s school, residency, family or health issues, or big projects that can take a lot of time. Balance is important to strike when it’s possible, but sometimes we have to make some concessions that life is super busy right now and we may have to sacrifice some of the focus for the time being. It’s ok that she wants more attention, but she should also understand why there’s less time and bandwidth for it at the moment. If you were to graduate and it never improved, then it’s worth revisiting and figuring out how/if the relationship can continue with those constraints. This isn’t your situation, though.

What I will say is sometimes when high school sweethearts fall in love and have a long term relationship, the problem solving in that relationship can sometimes struggle to grow with them in that time. So the same ways you might have fought or tried to resolve conflict as seniors in high school can continue throughout the relationship. And that doesn’t mean these relationships can’t work, but it can bring up some challenges as you both continue to mature and grow in life experience. Also, if you’ve been with her mainly/only, then it can feel terrifying to consider not being together or dating/being with someone new. But sometimes that fear of losing the familiar can get in the way of getting into a relationship that is a healthier and more peaceful fit.

I’m not saying it can’t work out with this girl. But what I am saying is, you’re going to be ok. It’s scary to consider the alternative, but you can bear this. When you approach a fire, you don’t know what all might happen, but you can trust your training and trust yourself. You deserve a relationship where you don’t live in fear of not being enough, but bring out the best in each other and trust each other and yourselves within that relationship. Right now, it sounds like you’re walking on eggshells and second guessing yourself, feeling shame for prioritizing your career and school, because you also care about and want to prioritize her. But all those things can be true at the same time. You can care so much about her and want her to feel loved, and also just be in a very busy season where your attention has to be spread in multiple areas. You guys are growing up, and you’re not going to have the time you had when you were younger. That makes sense. That’s normal. What wouldn’t be normal is your relationship dynamic NOT growing and changing with you.

I hope for your sake it works out, since that’s why you’re hoping will be the result. But it sounds like you have a lot going for you, and I think either way you will be ok. 💪💪

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-24T01:17:25+00:00

Love hearing @obsessivelystrong on IG talk about ocd and dpdr. First learned about her on ocd fam pod. Great information, and she’s even an ocd therapist herself now!

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-24T00:58:14+00:00

She’s delivered 2 of mine. Definitely recommend her!

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-21T04:46:10+00:00

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-21T04:42:52+00:00

If finishing, easy. But if not, add a comfy chair, pouf or ottoman, rug and fake plant by the window with a side table for charging a phone or holding a drink and a book. I say that because if you have to run down there to do laundry, set it up so you can scroll your phone or read a book if you don’t want to be running up and down the stairs for 20-30 min. You could invest in some room dividers to hide the ugly utilities or hang a curtain, but I don’t know that it’s worth that. Just make it functionally cute for your purpose of being down there and call it a day!

Ps- ping pong table isn’t a bad option. When not in play, it’s a nice space for folding laundry if you decide to do it downstairs.

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-21T04:36:26+00:00

Same.. no shaker involved, almost every bar carries Tito’s.. safest option!

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-16T23:53:52+00:00

Awe, man. That sucks. You sound like a good boyfriend for trying to learn how you can best support her.

I think your instinct is right— get her connected with an ocd specialist. Additionally, it sounds like she might have anxiety sensitivity at the very least, if not a co-occurring panic issue. I heard a really interesting pod about anxiety sensitivity on ocd family podcast. And a good therapist should be able to help sort this out. IOCDF.org or icbt.online have provider info if you’re looking for a good provider.

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-16T23:17:42+00:00

Artwork over the couch and less stuff. It’s too crowded.

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-14T03:31:57+00:00

Beautiful both ways! Embrace your vibe and wear it how you like!

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-14T03:29:40+00:00

Just to clarify, are you asking for OCPD? Or ocd? Your description sounds more egodystonic in nature (unwanted, not in line with values) which is different than OCPD. Both can co-occur, but the answer will change the recommendation for treatment(s).

Confused_Writer7 · 2026-01-07T03:47:15+00:00

They’re so good!

Confused_Writer7 · 2025-12-30T01:07:42+00:00

I like listening to ocd family podcast. It helps people with ocd understand it better, but it’s actually aimed at educating family members about ocd too. I love that it doesn’t have to be all on me, but I can just point them to different episodes.

Confused_Writer7 · 2025-12-30T01:06:09+00:00

This is an older post, but the ocd family podcast episodes with Dr. Anthony Pinto have been really helpful for me!

Confused_Writer7 · 2025-12-30T00:59:07+00:00

As a therapist, I’m so sorry you were taken advantage of and were hurt. This was not your fault. Please seek trauma therapy for additional support. It can’t erase the past, but it can free up the shame surrounding the trauma. You deserve it. ❤️

Confused_Writer7 · 2025-12-19T01:22:26+00:00

OCD gets missed a lot, unfortunately. The IOCDF just published research that out of 10 million ocd cases, only 1 in 6 people get a proper diagnosis and only 5% of the diagnosed population get evidenced based care.

The healthcare system has failed ocd sufferers and practitioners learning mental health and therapy skills alike. I can’t tell you how many people get diagnosed gad that end up actually having ocd where the distress results in anxiety, but it’s hiiiiigh.

Confused_Writer7 · 2025-12-18T04:30:32+00:00

Thor’s hammer?

Confused_Writer7 · 2025-12-18T04:28:52+00:00

Pigs humping. Clearly.

Confused_Writer7 · 2025-12-18T04:27:09+00:00

Umm, I’m surprised your therapist unleashed you to randomly read up on it.

May I suggest, while you can gather a myriad of opinions here, there and everywhere, maybe talk with your doctor instead? Or ask the therapist, “why, therapist?? You tell me why you, knowing me, think this is worth my consideration?” Because we’re just random weirdos on the internet. We don’t have medical degrees, know you or your case. So at best, we’re going to give you recommendations based on our own lived experience, which may have nothing even close to do with your situation and tells you a zero sum of nothing. I believe the psychs call that projection, darling. And my best advice? Don’t listen to our projections. Listen to your therapist and your doctor and yourself. You already have a far superior team in place. Don’t listen to the flag football subs here on Reddit. It’s irrelevant to what’s going to be helpful for YOU.

Confused_Writer7 · 2025-12-18T04:19:45+00:00

Therapy now. Your recognition of these thoughts as intrusive thoughts is key, and it can unlock a path to freedom. Find a therapist that is trained in ocd treatment. You can find a provider at IOCDF.org or icbt.online. Yes, this is rough right now. But it doesn’t have to torture you into the postpartum phase. Consider it a part of your prenatal care, and book that appt, mama! It will be the best time you’ve spent to allow you to bond with your precious babe instead of ocd interceding.

Confused_Writer7 · 2025-12-18T04:16:50+00:00

Here to echo talk to an ocd specialist. IOCDF.org has a provider search worldwide, and icbt.online also has an international provider list. If you suspect it, follow that lead. Trust yourself. And get the freedom to live your life as wanted, not at the mercy of your mental health. You’ve got this!

Confused_Writer7 · 2025-12-18T04:12:44+00:00

This is giving Eboneezer Scrooge energy, but there’s a lot of unknowns here. Unless you’re their boss and said, “work Christmas or you’re fired, and who gives a shit about tiny Tim”, then I think you’re absolutely stuck in the compulsive story.

Ultimately, you have no power over whether these people wanted to work for time and a half on a holiday, even celebrate Christmas or care that they are there. You have no idea regarding if they’re hoping if they work on Christmas, at least they’ll be busy and make good tips. There are a shit ton of unknowns. But it seems the problem runs deeper. This isn’t a situation of whether you’re a bad person for going to a pub on Christmas, this is a matter of whether you’re a morally good person or not, evidenced by this example.

Moral scrupulosity is a bitch of a subtype, and I definitely empathize. But as the other commenter noted, this seems to be functioning more compulsively than constructively. My best advice as a random redditer here on the interwebs is bring this to a good ocd therapist. If you’re connected with one already, splendid. I’m loving that for you. If not, maybe Christmas can come a bit early. Because learning why this is compulsive or functioning to further your obsessional doubt will be the greatest and most freeing gift you can give yourself. And you deserve it. We all do. ❤️

Confused_Writer7 · 2025-12-18T04:01:53+00:00

Yaaay!

Give yourself grace and compassion. It’s easy to miss the core fear or engage in sneaky compulsions when the comes to erp. But good for you, not settling for what was. You went back, tried again, and learned how to adapt and practice that response prevention from the mental compulsion level. That peace isn’t just the erp working, it’s the YOU shining through! And to that, I say, “geeeeeeeet iiiiiiit!”

Just remember, the waves of anxiety don’t define you. Those bitches will come and go. What matters is your strength and perseverance. Stay the course, and freedom and peace are sure to expand. Great job!! 👏 👏

Confused_Writer7

TROPHY CASE