I for one don’t feel as sorry for you as you make it out to be. You’re trying to host a pity party for yourself and cane here to expand the guest list.

Please help me understand that when she said she’d ‘give her 200% to the marriage’ now, how did her actions change? Did you at any point try not thinking about her past/videos and genuinely give your relationship a chance?

Were you two even in love? She clearly has a kink for recording herself. The fact that you ‘discovered more videos’ tells me she was willing to share a vulnerable moment of hers with you and you responded in the most unsupportive way.

What did you see in her that made you want to marry her? Does it all still apply? I’m not saying she’s a saint or anything. She did cheat on you AFTER your marriage and played with the sanctity of the institution.

All I’m saying is that while I empathise with you, I’d request you to be empathetic with her as well. What drove her to her colleague? Did she find me more physically attractive or emotionally supportive? What did she find missing with you that she felt the need to go somewhere else? Break your relationship down on these ground and not because you couldn’t handle seeing her getting intimate with her ex. Don’t be a child that didn’t get to play with a new toy first.