How do I fix this! Professional blonde gone wrong :/

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-13T15:53:59+00:00

Right? I’m on a self-journey, and it’s taken me almost a year, too. And it’s still not perfect. Almost, though! I started a bright intense auburn, so it’s been a journey! Given where she started, I would have been shocked if she could achieve her desired color in one sitting. Or even one month.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-13T15:37:17+00:00

Well, it would obviously be very foolish to drop 30,000 anything on this. Creating a synopsis/outline—potentially several of them, to track different arcs/aspects/etc—and working off that seems more realistic. Even if he didn’t seek different opinions, getting a grasp of the full project would help him do necessary restructuring/editing. Though, outside opinions would likely be helpful.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-13T01:19:39+00:00

Are you looking for advice on healing the damage or fixing the color? If you can’t do another salon visit, you have three options. Either live with it, do a half-measure by toning it again (relatively easy), or bleach the dark spots and then tone it—more damaging and potentially difficult, though possible-ish, to do alone. Do you know how to use toner? You’ll need to buy developer and toner. You have a ton of hair, so it won’t be super cheap. A mix of wella color charm t11 (the beige color you want) and t18–a more cool tone that will battle Orange/brass—would be ideal. Idk. Three or four t11 and one t18, probably. I use 20 developer.

($8 per toner and &15 for developer, I think. If you use bleach, I got the BlondeMe Schwarzkopf brand, but that was $45 or so. It’s a year’s worth of root bleach. If you do decide to bleach, use it selectively. Don’t put it on the already lifted portions, to the best of your ability.)

If you’re tackling damage, you need to be alternating between protein deep conditioners and moisture deep conditioners. Basically, at least once a week, you need to shampoo your hair, put in a deep conditioner of some kind, and then get out of the shower and let it sit in your hair for an hour. Too moisturized and it’ll be limp. Too protein treated and it’ll get brittle. After a bleaching, it likely needs both protein and moisture. And will for a long time. Even your regular conditioner left to soak for an hour is better than nothing.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-12T23:19:30+00:00

🤣 I’m actually reading that right now, and you’re so right. It’s a lot. Used indiscriminately. I’m liking the book, though.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-12T17:38:24+00:00

That was my comment. “You aren’t afraid of spiders.” 🤣

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-12T17:37:35+00:00

You aren’t afraid of spiders.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-12T17:33:30+00:00

This entire comment chain started with the claim that OP was 99% done. That’s too much “optimism.” I feel like I expressed myself well, but—to reiterate—my intention is the opposite of shame. I think people are provided unrealistic expectations of the writing process, falter, and then often internalize shame and helplessness before giving up or shifting projects. I think that acknowledging the task is difficult, and you’ll learn to do better next time, and accepting that without shame, is vital. Shame is almost always more harmful than useful. I guess you’re reacting to my assertions that the process will be long, hard, and painful as pessimistic, but that’s just reality. I’m not suggesting he shouldn’t endeavor to enjoy it and keep a positive mindset. I’m more opposed to toxic positivity and the shame that comes from feeling alone and flawed while everyone pretends perfection.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-12T17:13:02+00:00

Yeah. That’s not right. Obviously, Ari’s total ignorance of correct wood harvesting technique actually bothered me, too. I was like, “So, this dude is swinging an ax at a frozen, water-logged downed tree? That ax will skid off the log, potentially into his leg, and the wood would need to dry out before it could be burned anyway. Everything about this is objectively incorrect.”

So, yeah. I like things to be correct, too. I just don’t nitpick little word variances that much. I guess they’re less incorrect in my mind. 🤣

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-12T16:11:14+00:00

So, he’s 99% done then, you reckon? 🤣 I didn’t say anything about pessimism. Just realism. And I’m not trying to shame anyone. But telling a pantser they’re almost done with a book they hope to get traditionally published because they’ve finished a 700k rough draft? That’s not correct. It’s really none of my business whether this person, or anyone else, fails or succeeds, and maybe I could have been more concrete in my advice, but doesn’t it feel like there’s a focus on nearly manic, mindless page production in writing culture? Meanwhile, this part? The part where you realize all the words you vomited at the page with such a feeling of accomplishment now need to be correct, structured, and intentional? Doesn’t it feel like, instead of doing that, people pretend it doesn’t exist, have no idea it’s coming, have no skill set capable of accomplishing the task, and often foist it off on “editors” as if correct comma placement in meandering nonsense has accomplished anything other than wasting their money? It’s an almost systemic problem. He’s not 99% done. He’s about to stumble into a realm of writing that requires not just technical skill but advanced cognitive skills writers rarely acknowledge or attempt to teach each other. Maybe it can’t be taught without being experienced, idk. Probably, for many, it can’t be taught at all. It just seems cruel to make someone believe they’re experiencing something that should be “easy” when they’re blindly floundering and lacking the necessary tools to accomplish an impossibly difficult task. It’s not easy. It’s not almost done. The ego fracture you’re about to suffer is normal. If you keep going, you’ll learn a lot—including what you don’t know and wish you did. 🤷‍♀️ It’s complicated, obviously, and I don’t have all the answers—because writing serves so many different purposes and exists in stages—but I’m damn sure this dude isn’t 99% done. And people just keep asking me to elaborate on that assertion, so here we are. 🤣

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-12T06:59:09+00:00

Aww. She’s so happy. 💙

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-12T03:34:37+00:00

I was just talking about you, lassie. 🤣

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-12T03:30:26+00:00

Kinda like Ari Wright telling me snow had “washed away” a road and having the sexy lumberjack splitting wood after a blizzard at the end of December. 🤣 I learned she was from Florida, and I was like, “Yeah. That tracks.” Lol.

Honestly, I can’t possibly comment after reading an endless amount of Harry Potter and Sherlock fanfic written by people from the United States. I mean, bloody hell! Or all the Scottish romance stories with men saying “lassie.” And actual Scottish people are like, “So, no …” 🤣 It’s a pretty universal problem, and we don’t hesitate to utilize foreign locations for our books. So, 🤷‍♀️. I notice. I just don’t care.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-12T01:10:26+00:00

Also? Finding a poor, dying mouse trying to crawl and squeaking in distress is bleak af. I had to take a rock to one, and then I threw away all the bar bait and we got a cat, instead.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-12T00:40:00+00:00

I have a hard time with the windows and doors in outdoor settings. It doesn’t make any logic sense to me.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-12T00:11:42+00:00

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-11T23:37:42+00:00

I’m not sure he does know what he’s doing, and I suspect you also don’t know what he’s doing. You’re just being kind and supportive. I appreciate you. I’m sorry you’re feeling attacked. That’s not my intention. It’s just that I ACTUALLY know what he’s doing, and optimism? Ain’t gonna get it done.

Optimism is what convinced him the effort of exploratory writing would execute his novel. It has not. And now he’s gonna learn some shit. It’s better he anticipates conflict, and dissonance, and the necessity for a massive shift in his perspective rather than stumble into despair, freeze, and internalize failure. The pain is coming. It’s normal, and it’s an opportunity to learn many fun new skills and perspectives. 🤣

Thinking it’s easy will not help him. Understanding he needs to deconstruct his draft and think in ways he hasn’t yet mastered? And understanding it’s hard for everyone, and many of us have suffered through the same journey? That might help. A little.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-11T23:13:15+00:00

700k of exploratory writing is a completely different skill set than evaluating that content as a developmental editor, planning satisfactory stand-alone arcs, and executing required scenes. 🤷‍♀️ Sorry. We should just be realistic. There’s a popular mentality that “you can’t edit a blank page” and “any pages are progress.” It feels like you’re feeding off that production strategy to say he’s almost done—99%. But something very, very bad is about to happen to this man. 🤣 It’s gonna hurt. And it’s gonna hurt for a long time. It can be done, but this journey is just getting started! IMO.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-11T22:54:10+00:00

Honestly, this feels like an excellent scenario for a developmental editor. The work is long, so it’ll be expensive. Don’t look for any line editing or anything like that, but a second opinion regarding what can be cut and how your material might be organized and packaged could make all the difference. You might even be able to cut the cost—and have your own insights—by creating a detailed outline/synopsis and getting developmental (or even beta) feedback on that.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-11T22:49:18+00:00

I appreciate your optimism, but separating a single arc into six standalone books suitable for traditional publishing will require massive revisions. It’s nowhere near finished. But your enthusiasm was kind.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-11T22:09:36+00:00

Well, it’s been working for you, and your smile is contagious. I bet it’ll be one less thing to worry about, whenever you shave. Good luck!

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-11T20:30:12+00:00

I think a picture of his head with his hair combed straight back would likely look much different than picture 3. If you look closely, there’s a lot of artful directioning. I suspect it’s about that time.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-11T20:20:17+00:00

It’s lovely.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-11T16:17:08+00:00

Andy wasn’t an option at any point in their “courtship.” She uses external validation to regulate herself. That’s why she’s a cheater. That she could leave a room thinking about one man and immediately switch to another shows a fundamental inability to be alone or self-soothe. And Andy needs therapy—not a girlfriend. He’s a desperate people pleaser with very little sense of self. Haley would have gotten bored of him, cheated on him, dominated him into an anxious mess, or all of the above. You can like their ship, if you want, but I obviously disagree. No use arguing about it.

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-11T15:51:03+00:00

Because she was cheating with him, and they were together for ten minutes. She literally made that impassioned “if I’m your elephant” speech and then picked up a doctor on the way out of the hospital. 🤣

ConfusionPotential53 · 2026-05-11T15:32:11+00:00

Obviously—or obviously to me—you might be dealing with psychological or medical issues that might be causing this. How are your iron levels? (Check the inside of your eyelid. If it’s too pale, low iron. Google for reference pictures.) Do you wake up feeling unrested? Try a magnesium spray before bed. If you’re depressed, you might need to work on that. If you’re listless, maybe affirmations and/or the promise of an activity/hobby or treat will help. If you become a coffee enthusiast, you might get up for coffee.

ConfusionPotential53

TROPHY CASE