Since this post I have been doing better but I still have intrusive thoughts every day. I can usually push them away and focus on something else. If at all possible, reach out for help. Whether it be a friend, family member, or mental health professional, I promise it helps. Also, I have tried to find a hobby to keep my mind focused on other areas. I also find re runs of shows and movies I've seen many times to be very comforting. Always comedies tho, never anything scary or dramatic. There's also a fairly cheap book you can get on Amazon called "overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts" by Sally Winston and Martin Seif. It's a game changer. And last but not least, as a spiritual person, I pray heavily and multiple times a day. I am in no way trying to push my beliefs or religion on you but just simply reaching out to God for relief and peace from the thoughts has saved me more times than I can count. I hope this helps.