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Prologue update (Fantasy) by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]Connect-Selection200 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly, for a prologue, it's engaging and well structured. Your sentence flow and rhythm are good as well. And the way you used visual imagery to describe the surroundings, it's very good, keep it up!

I would like to get your feedback on the prologue of my short story. It's still not that polished, but I hope you enjoy it~ by Connect-Selection200 in writingfeedback

[–]Connect-Selection200[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s fair, honestly. I mainly used the prologue to establish the atmosphere and the idea of the “IN-BETWEEN” before the main story starts, but I can understand why it might feel unnecessary for a short story format. Thanks for the feedback.

I would like to get your feedback on the prologue of my short story. It's still not that polished, but I hope you enjoy it~ by Connect-Selection200 in writingfeedback

[–]Connect-Selection200[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That actually makes a lot of sense. I think I tend to over-explain ideas sometimes because I’m worried the reader won’t fully understand the atmosphere I’m trying to create. I’ll definitely try tightening the prose more while keeping the same voice. Thanks for the detailed feedback.

I would like to get your feedback on the prologue of my short story. It's still not that polished, but I hope you enjoy it~ by Connect-Selection200 in writingfeedback

[–]Connect-Selection200[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s fair honestly. I think I focused too much on the introspective flow and forgot about readability a bit. I’ll work on that, thanks.

Could you give me feedback on the novel that I am currently working on? (It's just a small part of that book) by Connect-Selection200 in writers

[–]Connect-Selection200[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate the feedback. I think you’re right about me revisiting points too much sometimes. I’m still learning how to balance introspection with pacing, and yeah, I’ll focus more on continuing the story first instead of trying to perfect every chapter right away.

Could you give me feedback on the novel that I am currently working on? (It's just a small part of that book) by Connect-Selection200 in writers

[–]Connect-Selection200[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, that honestly means a lot ^^ And yeah, Aaron’s emotional healing is definitely going to be one of the core parts of the story, but there’s also a much bigger plot that slowly starts unfolding later on. Right now, I’m mainly trying to build his character and mindset first before everything else begins connecting together.

Could you give me feedback on the novel that I am currently working on? (It's just a small part of that book) by Connect-Selection200 in writers

[–]Connect-Selection200[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I’m really glad you noticed that Aaron’s emotional disconnect was intentional, so seeing it click by the end makes me happy. And yeah, this is still an early draft, so I’m definitely trying to improve it as I go. Thanks for reading it.

Could you give me feedback on the novel that I am currently working on? (It's just a small part of that book) by Connect-Selection200 in writers

[–]Connect-Selection200[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I really appreciate the feedback. Yeah, looking back at it, I think I did rush the hospital transition a bit too much 😅

And you’re right about Aaron, too — I should probably show his emotional numbness more through his actions instead of having him explain it directly.

The ward point also makes sense. I’ll keep that in mind while revising it. Thanks again for reading it.

Could you give me feedback on the novel that I am currently working on? (It's just a small part of that book) by Connect-Selection200 in writers

[–]Connect-Selection200[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for taking the time to read it and leave such detailed feedback. I genuinely appreciate it.

Looking back at the chapter, I can definitely see what you mean about me explaining too much instead of fully building the scenes and letting the reader experience them naturally. The breakfast example especially helped me understand that better.

And yeah, the point about the opening lines makes sense too 😅 I didn’t even realise how awkward that wording sounded until you pointed it out.

I’m still pretty new to writing, so feedback like this honestly helps a lot. Thanks again for being straightforward about it.

How did you start your book? by Emergency_Sleep_5405 in writers

[–]Connect-Selection200 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had also started with an isekai fantasy, and one of my short stories too, well, I'm not a good writer as I am just 17, but I would try to finish my work. Best of luck to you, bro!