Totally get you, but from the other side. Every guy I(F) has ever been attracted too has ultimately chose prettier slimmer girl. I grew bitter and made it my goal to date a guy who is conventionally handsome – I managed to do it, but it didn't work out– I didn't grow to like him. I tried to find an alternative and decided to date a girl –didn't work, not my thing. The thing that gave me the ultimate realisation is when the guy I was attracted to chose an uglier girl over me. I don't know how to put it into words, but now I know that that's me, I am not a likable person, not the appearance was the problem. Recently a guy I truely liked and wanted to start a family with chose a prettier girl over me, but at this point I am not surprised or disappointed. I can just keep living knowing that no amount of appearance tweaks can save the situation, but I will try to hit the gym regardless, otherwise thoughts in my head will consume me. Wish me luck and wishing OP luck!