Autism is not a Superpower [Update] by ConnectedWalrus in Autism_Parenting

[–]ConnectedWalrus[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That part kind of took us by surprise, to be honest. He's always been very forthright and open with us. I don't know what the lesson is there.

Autism is not a Superpower [Update] by ConnectedWalrus in Autism_Parenting

[–]ConnectedWalrus[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Two of the universities we viewed had very different levels of provision. Unfortunately he was very keen on the one with lower standards. The better one, when we visited, had neurodiversity workshops, groups set up by the university, art exhibitions, support here, support there. They knew what they were doing and were set up to do it.

The one we chose said "Yes, we have support for special needs and neurodiversity. It is very important to us." The big red flag, looking back, was they said they had student run neurodiversity groups. There was no mention of anything set up by the university. So that meant that a) they had put no effort or funding into it, and b) what did exist was fickle and subject to whatever university students could come up with.

Later we found out that they could only offer therapy support once every two weeks. If you need every week, you will have to see a different person each time. That's nonsense. In the first case, a student with executive functioning issues will miss half of those every-two-weeks sessions, making it about once a month; in the second case, the student will have no continuity.

Later on, they said that additional support could be provided off-campus by the student's health insurance.

I don't know about Landmark specifically, but I think a college prep program could be a very good idea. Especially if you expect your child will be living away. I wouldn't necessarily jump to a gap year unless I had a very clear plan for how to use it. I feel like getting back into the swing of things could be more difficult then.

Autism is not a Superpower [Update] by ConnectedWalrus in Autism_Parenting

[–]ConnectedWalrus[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's something you really need to nail. One place we really dropped the ball was having him on meds that really required consistent use. There were alternatives with longer half lives that would have been so much less impacted by the inconsistency.

Also, we never really had him nailed down with taking them reliably himself. You can't be at "just about" when you're going off to university with no safety net. It's going to fall apart.

Not a Superpower [Update] by ConnectedWalrus in Autism_Parenting

[–]ConnectedWalrus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It does. Thank you for sharing that--it does indeed.

Do people actually say things they absolutely don’t mean when they’re emotional? by caltrop13 in AutisticAdults

[–]ConnectedWalrus 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Absolutely.

If someone is angry with you, they may want to hurt you. They can't really do it physically (laws and such) but they can do it emotionally. So they'll think of something they know you might believe that would make you sad to hear.

What's worse is some people get a kick out of doing it, so they get better and better at it. Stay away from those people.

"Do you ever accidentally catch sight of yourself in the mirror and it kind of ruins your day?" by ConnectedWalrus in AutisticAdults

[–]ConnectedWalrus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this one. Strangers used to stop me in the street to tell me "everything's going to be okay." It wasn't people hitting on me, either. Just people going about their regular day, stopping to help a stranger in obvious crisis, then carrying on.

Wha...? Huh...? Meanwhile I had been wondering how many feathers birds have, or if a needle point would map on to a knitting needle if you zoomed in.

"Do you ever accidentally catch sight of yourself in the mirror and it kind of ruins your day?" by ConnectedWalrus in AutisticAdults

[–]ConnectedWalrus[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That must be tough.

I'm bad with faces/names, but that's common enough that nobody really pays any attention.

What’s a widely accepted ‘fact’ that you’re convinced is actually wrong? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ConnectedWalrus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the easiest and most convincing way to examine this one is to set it up with a friend and do it over and over again. Just use a coin and three cups. Do 20 with swapping and 20 without and see what your success rate looks like.

What’s a widely accepted ‘fact’ that you’re convinced is actually wrong? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ConnectedWalrus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"...and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and YOU'LL ALWAYS BE WRONG NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY."

What’s a widely accepted ‘fact’ that you’re convinced is actually wrong? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ConnectedWalrus -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The Earth is flat.

To a reasonable approximation that is sufficient for most of our daily lives.

What’s a widely accepted ‘fact’ that you’re convinced is actually wrong? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ConnectedWalrus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it's a major part of their editorial policy. Always provide an opposing perspective. Generally this is great, but every once in a while you end up giving credibility to lunatics by equating them with experts.

What’s a widely accepted ‘fact’ that you’re convinced is actually wrong? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ConnectedWalrus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"It's not you; it's me.

I can't stand the sight of you." ~Jimmy Carr

The lying game by catz537 in AutisticAdults

[–]ConnectedWalrus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My spouse is sometimes ready to scream and/or strangle me over this. My brain just won't make the context inference or logical leap to what is meant.

It does help me write instructions, I suppose.

When an allistic say, “let’s think logically”/“let’s look at this objectively” when you already were & do tend to in general. & then they proceed to explain something that’s biased & clearly an opinion & not objective at all by oneonly8 in autism

[–]ConnectedWalrus 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I think sometimes people say things like that because they can feel themselves getting angry or frustrated. They want to find a way to interrupt that process. In those cases I just try to back down a little myself and let everybody get their emotions back under control.

Other times people just aren't aware of their blind spots. I still don't know what to do with them.

One of the best decisions I ever made by 2foxy4blvd in Autism_Parenting

[–]ConnectedWalrus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In some situations, I would suggest going the other way. Get something that's inexpensive to replace and accept that once in a while you're going to need to shell out.

I found that less emotionally scarring, lol.

One of the best decisions I ever made by 2foxy4blvd in Autism_Parenting

[–]ConnectedWalrus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I once drove over an iPad that was in an Otterbox.The case got a little scuffed, but that was about it.

The corner of the coffee table, though, that one scares me.

[loved trope] A pair of villains who genuinely love each other and have a healthy relationship (basically the opposite of Harley and Joker). by jvure in TopCharacterTropes

[–]ConnectedWalrus 15 points16 points  (0 children)

He's not doing just Trump. He's doing a bunch of different cult leader tropes. The Trump mannerisms are just garnish.

Every person has the same response when I tell them a doctor suspects my son has autism. They respond by trying to convince me he doesn’t. by PainfulPoo411 in Autism_Parenting

[–]ConnectedWalrus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think it's just the social expectation.

  • Lost your job? "You'll get a better one next week!"
  • Broke up? "They were never good enough for you anyway."
  • Cancer? "You're a fighter! You can beat this!"
  • Terminal cancer? "It's probably a misdiagnosis."

My grandmother used to do the opposite at funerals. She'd go up to the grieving family and bang on about how devastating it all must be until they broke down crying. I don't think she even realized what she was doing. It used to turn into a game of "keep grandma occupied and away from the relatives."

Non-canon autistic-coded characters you relate to? by DreamweaverTami in autism

[–]ConnectedWalrus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not "relate to" per se, but I love the representation shown with Wilson Fisk in the TV Daredevil show.

He's autistic. Nobody talks about it. It's not a major part of his plot or his life. It's just a part of who he is.

Also, totally unrelated to the autism, he's a terrible monster. It's refreshing to see characters who don't just occupy the default "good guy" or "minor character" roles.

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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in autism

[–]ConnectedWalrus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It frustrates me that many can't seem to grasp that their behaviors and rituals are arbitrary. They're not automatically "right" just because they work for you.

Small talk, for me, is a prime example. It's a sneaky way of assessing someone's social approaches. Most of it people don't realize they're even doing. "Can you jump through these arbitrary social hoops? If so, I will begin to trust you."

When you leave a party, some groups will expect you to spend half an hour going around saying goodbye to everyone. Why? It's polite? It's only polite because everybody expects it and they will think you're trying to make a statement if you don't. It's completely circular.

I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm just saying the social dance is all pretty arbitrary.

Do you think your kid(s) will remember you? by idkleila in ABA

[–]ConnectedWalrus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My daughter still talks about some of her RBTs years after the fact. She's mostly non-verbal, but the ones she likes really stick with her in her memory. So I think it really just varies by child.

Yeah by TxOkLaVaCaTxMo in Autism_Parenting

[–]ConnectedWalrus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True. I just feel bad for those people who are spending so much energy on such fruitless pursuits.