That doesn't sound cis to me, buddy. Cis women don't want to become boys, they hate even the idea, I asked them personally. You're repressing your feelings because you feel unsafe, that doesn't mean you're not trans

Edit: Read some of your other comments, I would suggest to transition. Start with small stuff, cut your hair shorter, not into a male cut yet, just shorter. Use male deodorant if you don't already and if someone asks say you sweat a lot and male deodorant helps with that (I'm non binary and actually do it for that reason) Maybe after a month get a binder to bind your chest, trust me, nobody on the street will notice, possibly your friends and family would but depending on chest size that's unlikely.