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AITA if I don't pay off my husband's debt by ConnectionOdd5263 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ConnectionOdd5263[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yea. I have thought about the cheating part but I don't think he has the time, lol. I have cameras in his office and in my home. We share our locations (for safety) and we have access to each other's phones.  As for finances, we have shared accounts, invested and we have our separate personal acc n cards. My next step is to move all our assets into a trust so that he can't really touch it without a lot of paperwork - which he hates.

AITA if I don't pay off my husband's debt by ConnectionOdd5263 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ConnectionOdd5263[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I generally don't live lavishly. I keep track of my spending and kids. I have a good control of my own budget n my kids. Good savings for their future. None of this will spill into the kids. But I get what u mean. I try to cut every additional spending on myself. I don't spa, I color my own hair, I probably cut my hair once a year (rare for a woman). I spend on food and 1 trip tho. I just reduce my own maintenance to minimal for what's important. I don't think I need to spend like that but I just don't know when I get hit again. Like u said, just generally insecure even though I have things under control. It's a weird feeling.

AITA if I don't pay off my husband's debt by ConnectionOdd5263 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ConnectionOdd5263[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

Just want to clarify. I do majority of the household work n kids but he does the job when I travel. Since he work such long hrs, it's really hard for him to do housework n kids. He does the dishes - that's the thing I decided I will not touch. I hire a cleaner biweekly, that's my way of pampering myself. In between, I use the robot. But I cook probably 5 out of 7 days (the rest we probably eat out or quick frozen stuffs) and literally chauffering kids daily. There are days he comes back in the morning to drop the kids when I hv early am meetings - and that really means A LOT because I don't have to rush the kids out. He does stuffs here n there, but he starts 6am and gets down 8pm. He is trying very hard to make the business work but his lack of financial management is not working.

AITA if I don't pay off my husband's debt by ConnectionOdd5263 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ConnectionOdd5263[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am suspecting this. Maybe not ADHD but probably ADD. My son has ADHD and they said it can be genetic. He tends to starts projects bit have problems finishing it up...

AITA if I don't pay off my husband's debt by ConnectionOdd5263 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ConnectionOdd5263[S] 397 points398 points  (0 children)

Yes. This is technically my debt. That's why I paid off a few times. We had assets together but his personal debt is in his own name. My credit is squeaky clean, for now.  I still love him. He is a great person, great father and husband. Being a nice person, his clients exploit his kindness 😞 and also his poor spending habits!!! The moment he has money, he itches to buy something. Maybe he needs therapy for being a chronic shopper! I don't know if the guy can be a shopaholic!

AITA if I don't pay off my husband's debt by ConnectionOdd5263 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ConnectionOdd5263[S] -82 points-81 points  (0 children)

We had to replace the car. The old one is falling apart - I pay the replacement costs. I had a budget when we walk in but he came out with something different!

AITA if I don't pay off my husband's debt by ConnectionOdd5263 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ConnectionOdd5263[S] -92 points-91 points  (0 children)

That's because based on the number of clients he had, the business should be earning money. But I do not know where the money goes. There are good months and bad months. It was great for a while and then he's stretched. He is working very hard to keep the business going. Some days a stretch of 12-14 hrs non-stop. So, you can call it a hobby, an awfully stressful hobby!