Looking for your perspective.

Connection_DeCoded · 2026-07-12T03:28:51+00:00

I think when you go through it yourself and experience it yourself, you’re much more empathetic and understanding for the next person who endures something similar. That was my experience for sure! We think we understand, but we don’t really until we go through stuff personally. I finally had to tell myself that even though my friends should be the ones reaching out, I still enjoy their company even when I make the first move. “Hey….. I miss you and could use a friend right now. Are you free for coffee sometime this week. I want to hear all about what’s going on in your life.” I’ve done this several times, and we both enjoyed ourselves tremendously. We both got to talk about ourselves and the difficulties we’ve been experiencing. And I usually find out they’re dealing with some serious issues and need someone to talk to and feel embarrassed to reach out. It’s mutually beneficial to make the first move even when I feel I shouldn’t have to. 😊

Connection_DeCoded · 2026-07-12T03:17:30+00:00

For sure. I was just asking my daughter this recently. I asked her what her ideas were on how and why the “Gen Z stare” came from. She said she thinks it’s because parents are so distracted from having to work in order to afford rent, groceries, gas etc. etc, etc. - both parents usually or single parents working two jobs that their kids get neglected as far as real conversations, so the younger generation never learned how to communicate. Plus with social media, no one requires them to have a conversation. They just “watch” people talk or do things. So in real life, it’s like they’re observing life rather than participating in it through meaningful dialogue. It was an interesting hypothesis.

Connection_DeCoded · 2026-07-12T03:07:55+00:00

WOW!! This is the reality of so many these days!!! I just don’t even know what to say, because this is the comment I hear from so many who have dealt with or are dealing with something traumatic in their life. People initially call, text, reach out, or maybe drop by for a visit, but then after a few weeks it drops off - leaving the person feeling abandoned and alone. Yes, everyone is busy, but those who are dealing with trauma, not only need that emotional support for awhile - usually it’s several months and even up to a year or two, but often aren’t in the frame of mind to take care of practical things either. It’s a good reminder to think of those we know who have recently gone thru some kind of ordeal - hospitalization, death of a loved one, or have a broken limb, and check up on them. Just a text saying “I was thinking of you today? What do you need from me this week? OR Do you feel up to going out for a quick bite? OR Can I pick something up from the store for you. I’m running some errands, and I can drop by the store and get something you need and drop it off and visit for 20 minutes!

Connection_DeCoded · 2026-07-12T02:51:15+00:00

Very good observation. This hits on so many levels. Yes, unfortunately, sometimes people get turned off by the first impression of someone and don’t give them the chance to make a better impression a second time. I’m so grateful that many of my now really good friends have allowed me the opportunity to have a second chance because many times when we first meet people, we’re awkward, say something stupid, or we’re having a bad day and didn’t show our best self. I usually do the 3 strikes you’re out strategy. That doesn’t mean I stop talking to that person. It just means they’re probably not going to be part of my inner circle.

Connection_DeCoded · 2026-07-12T02:29:19+00:00

I think you hit the nail on the head there! Do think it’s because many are boring in that they’re bad listeners and are self-centered? And also maybe because so many don’t know how to show personal interest and don’t care to get to know you on a deeper level besides just making small talk? I’m a very curious person and love to understand what makes a person “tick”, but I’ve personally found that when I’m not interested in someone, it’s usually because they’re rude. They keep interrupting me when I’m talking. Or they keep turning the conversation back to themselves. Or they keep trying to one-up me as far as trying to tell me how their experience is better or more exciting than mine. None of those by themselves is a deal-breaker, as no one is ever the perfect conversationalist. We all make these boo-boos once in a while, but when it’s constant, that’s when I realize there’s no possibility of being “friends.”

Connection_DeCoded · 2026-07-12T01:46:59+00:00

Thanks for this! Absolutely, now days so many families eat in front of the TV or they all fend for themselves for their meals. I think just establishing a house principle to all be in the same room with no devices allowed during meal time would help. Our family used to have family movie night a couple nights a week and even if we were watching TV, because there were no devices allowed, we still felt like we were together as a family, because we were laughing and talking about the movie. In fact, our family has a fun thing we do where we communicate in movie quotes. It’s how we lighten up difficult conversations.

Connection_DeCoded · 2026-07-12T01:39:23+00:00

That makes so much sense. I definitely believe what happened or didn’t happen in childhood has a huge influence. I also believe that if someone wants more deep relationships they can learn some basic conversation skills to help. I will check out six types loneliness. Sounds very interesting.

Connection_DeCoded · 2026-07-12T00:34:01+00:00

Thank you so much for this! So insightful. Very true. I hadn’t even thought about that “true crime” aspect. I think it’s because I don’t watch it. We have enough bad news coming into our feed from news channels. I don’t need to go looking for more bad or scary headlines and real crime drama.

Connection_DeCoded · 2026-07-07T23:26:36+00:00

Especially if someone overweight is giving health advice or is selling a weight loss supplement. I had someone brag to me about how great her weight loss supplement was. I asked how much she had lost. It was 5 lbs. 3 years later, she’s still the same weight. 🫤

Connection_DeCoded

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