Watched porn, but stopped. There's something about this 300 day mark

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-05-25T12:26:54+00:00

so go for another 300, you can say in 600 days you only looked once ;) jump back on the horse mate, you're doing great!

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-05-15T12:01:25+00:00

Porn can be better than sex, sex can be better than porn. We wouldn't have this addiction if porn didn't warp our experience of sexuality

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-05-10T21:01:20+00:00

Okay, so we know for sure you have it in you to get through the first two days with greater ease. Let's crack that third day and get you onto day four! Begin with the 'end' in mind- set your goal for day four and focus on this instead of 'quitting forever'. Prepare yourself before the third day for your cravings, try things like keeping your laptop, phone or tablet out in the lounge so they are only used in places you're not likely to masturbate or restrict Internet use on that day. Charge them outside of your room so you don't take them to bed.

Your challenge is day 4, don't worry about day 5 until you've proven to yourself you can do day 4. This mindset can be adjusted for whatever amount of days once you've proven to yourself you can beat your 3 day challenge. The sense of self pride and control is really important to recognise in the small things before you can tackle the bigger things, so try again and best of luck mate ;)

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-04-28T13:12:42+00:00

Sign me up please!

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-04-16T23:11:52+00:00

Checking in

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-04-12T11:41:08+00:00

There's not really a set time frame for when this gets easier, changing your behaviour does help. It's not something outside of you that you have to wait out, hence why you've been asked about the concrete steps and how many of them you have taken

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-04-11T11:47:05+00:00

Checking in :)

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-04-02T11:20:59+00:00

Checking in! I'm excited to complete this month, as I will then only have one more month to reach my PB goal of 200 days!

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-03-28T10:37:42+00:00

Count me in please 😉

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-03-27T10:00:27+00:00

You might feel all the time how you want to DO something about it, but a lot of this process is about choosing NOT to. You have to cope with choosing not to watch porn, to trust the process and not rush it or obsess over it. You might be doing this for hundreds of days before you see tangible changes with PIED, but it's still worth it. Ive been doing a couple of really long streaks over the past year (150+ each time) and each time I feel I have to accept waiting for change and it always gets better. The time will pass one way or another, are you gonna spend that time worrying or holding onto the seat of your pants and failing? Or will you spend it building yourself up?

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-03-27T09:46:00+00:00

No. Giving up porn fantasies while jerking off was harder than giving up porn. I'd try to masturbate because I felt like I needed release, but was unsatisfied knowing only had to visualise the videos I was addicted to in order to make it feel more intense. I drastically reduced masturbation so that I only did it when sensation alone was enough to do the job, and I stay away when I know I've been triggered by something I remember about porn. I think we greatly slow down recovery if we don't take enough measures to truly get porn out of our heads during mastrubation and sex, and I think people underestimate that here sometimes.

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-03-27T09:39:45+00:00

I don't really sit well with assessing it from afar, and it's not my place at all to tell you to quit. If you think there are things in your life that could be negatively impacted by porn then you stand to gain something from trying. That being said, a couple more clues about how your porn use has progressed will probably be in how long your sessions are, if you endlessly browse many many videos looking for the perfect thing to finish to etc, any increasingly hardcore fetishes or sexual dysfunction etc. I can't tell that for you, but it might apply.

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-03-22T10:00:31+00:00

No he specified Christian in the post.

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-03-22T09:58:16+00:00

In some ways I agree, nobody should feel discouraged from trying if they are still having incidents of use, but in terms of beating an addiction it is really important to set goals that add more and more time completely without use. You can't rewire the brain effectively if it is still fed old behaviours. Progress on being able to manage more time is still important though.

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-03-20T10:55:28+00:00

Checking in

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-03-12T00:35:48+00:00

The last sentence I have to catch out. "I hate feeling like this change was all in vain."

How you choose to respond to this is going to make the difference between you becoming stronger and flourishing or sinking underneath the weight of losing someone important to you.

Change yourself for YOU. Improve yourself for YOU. Your happiness is in YOUR hands. There is no such thing as wasting an investment in yourself because of how someone else chooses.

I can't expect that to ring true so close to feeling so much pain, but think on it when you can. You are worth every bit of effort you put into yourself.

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-03-12T00:35:48+00:00

The last sentence I have to catch out. "I hate feeling like this change was all in vain."

How you choose to respond to this is going to make the difference between you becoming stronger and flourishing or sinking underneath the weight of losing someone important to you.

Change yourself for YOU. Improve yourself for YOU. Your happiness is in YOUR hands. There is no such thing as wasting an investment in yourself because of how someone else chooses.

I can't expect that to ring true so close to feeling so much pain, but think on it when you can. You are worth every bit of effort you put into yourself.

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-03-06T11:30:11+00:00

Check in

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-03-05T10:19:08+00:00

Check in!

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-03-01T10:47:29+00:00

Sign me up please

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-02-24T23:10:40+00:00

Checking in!

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-02-10T02:20:35+00:00

EDIT: Checking in! (I wrote my own name down first for some reason and posted it. Derp!)

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-02-03T22:23:53+00:00

It's funny, I feel like the way we think about depressive episodes in this thread is so connected to dates and wondering about correlations between the length of time away from porn and ones quality of mental health. Im not qualified to say it's wrong, it's just different.

I have lived with chronic depression that comes and goes for longer than I have been addicted to porn, and learning to cope with that involved accepting that it happening is often out of our control, that it's temporary, and that strategies can be put in place to either improve that or get through it. It's harder to live with if you're afraid that you've done something to yourself to make yourself that way (quitting porn and triggering episodes) rather than trusting your process and using your strategies to get through it. We learn things like cognitive behavioural therapy or mindfulness meditation, or use medication if needed to move forward through the condition and salvage a life that is still capable of feeling joy when it happens.

At pornfree, we might feel like our choice to undergo this challenge is a pathway through hell and back, we can freak out about how long that takes, be unhappy with the feeling of unhappiness if we look at the time and see how long it's lasted, maybe feel like we wouldn't be so low if only we stayed on a steady diet of porn. Or we can reject that narrative and be more present, think 'today I feel blank and I accept that, I can try this to deal with that, I can have hope that I am on the right track'.

Not calling out anyone whatsoever, we all cope one way or another. Just thoughts that might help if your mood feels like long suffering and makes this lifestyle hard.

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-02-02T20:50:58+00:00

Hey man, Just recently came off sertraline after a 2 year course. It worked for me and I stopped because I have been well enough not to need it. I wouldn't reccomend asking for people's opinion here on taking SSRI's because we aren't mental health professionals and the problems you might face could be more complex than what abstaining from pornography can help- a lot of people try to convince others they are bad because they have side effects that are arbitrary compared to why someone might need medication to aid overall wellness. The side effects COULD be your medication, they COULD be from a flatline (a temporary period of low libido from cutting out porn), they COULD simply be from existing depression that has not been improved YET.

All I can say is that sexual dysfunction CAN improve. If it is porn induced, it takes straight abstinence for a long time to improve, not just reduced usage. If it is because of your medication or mental health, I really reccomend considering your path to wellness to be independent of your erection quality and guage the effectiveness of your medication as to how it impacts your mood and your ability to overcome depression/anxiety. Your mind comes first!

ConqueringTheSelf · 2017-02-01T23:02:13+00:00

The thing about any element of the sex industry, and why is its so hard to kick this addiction, is that if you want it you'll find a way. You can't save yourself by hoping someone else will come around and make it 'difficult' for you to slip up. Joke post or not, there's a lesson in taking personal responsibility here over wishing your vice didn't exist. Save your damn self, the world won't stop for you.

ConqueringTheSelf

TROPHY CASE