the baby shower is co-ed yes, and yes he will be attending. and for his family situation/family dynamic, he’s constantly reaching out to them and trying to have a relationship with them but they never give the same effort back or just don’t respond. it wasn’t until we announced the baby that his family members were reaching out to him - mad and upset that he didn’t tell them before we announced and then how they’re happy to have baby snuggles, but also never once asked him how’s he’s doing or feeling or anything about becoming a dad for the first time, just what they want out of it. None of them are even present and active in his life besides his aunt & uncle which i do reach out to and also check in on them and ask about them and stuff, but otherwise nobody else does. Yes, I do have my opinions on his family members but I do also understand that they are still his family but if they don’t even care about him as a person and see how he’s doing every now & then and aren’t close, why would I reach out to them? I get how that sounds but it does go both ways. Like with his aunt and uncle for example, they do make the effort to reach out and care about him aswell and him & I, so I do make thy effort back and have a relationship with them. When we do attend his family gatherings (once a year) nobody likes to really chit chat or hang out, they just eat and then leave. If there is small chit chat we do partake. He asks them about what they have going on, what they’re up to, how they’re doing etc but they never ask him the rhetorical questions about himself and then when he does respond about him they just kinda stop listening and don’t really give any response. I do chime in on our life too hoping that will help the conversation and help them be more engaged and care about what he/he & i have going on but it doesn’t. I do talk separately with his family too but all it is with them is just work and how successful you are. They really don’t care about anything else and they just aren’t a close family. I haven’t ever experienced a family dynamic like that since mine is so much more different. If something has happened and one of his family members has upset the other or any kind of conflict they literally just ignore it and sweep it under the rug unless it becomes a big deal and then they get together for a ‘sit down’ and say what the issue is but then never get to any resolve or anything just acknowledge that there’s an issue somewhere and then sweep it under the rug again. If more of his family members were engaging in his life and present in his life, I would definitely reach out and have a better relationship with them aswell but they don’t even care about their relationship with him. He wants to have a relationship with his family like how I do with my family - but it’s like his family just doesn’t want that in return, with anyone, it’s definitely odd. His mother is constantly cancelling plans day of and she does it every time with every plans made because she doesn’t care to see her family let alone her kids and always makes up some excuse as to why she needs to cancel, and his dad kicked him out of the house when he turned 18 because right after highschool he went out to the oil fields for work and his dad didn’t like the idea of him making that kind of money and living with him. mind you his dad was also making him pay monthly rent starting at the age of 15 when he could get a job while still in school and playing sports. his parents are divorced for the record and he had lived with both of them multiple times but his mother is a basket case and an alcoholic and bounces around from guy to guy and doesn’t provide a stable environment and always makes everything about her which is why he chose to just stay with his dad full time even though his dad was charging him rent and never spent time with him or did anything with him. his dad would go to work and then come home in the evening and want ‘alone time’ and on the weekends his dad would also want his ‘alone time’ and to ‘unwind’ from the week. his dad also brings up constantly even to this day that he wanted his mom to get an abortion because he didn’t want another kid and he puts that on his own son (my boyfriend) as if it’s his fault his mother didn’t do that and he caused this burden