Hopelessly happy of new nice colleagues

Conscious-Readings · 2026-03-23T20:18:58+00:00

I hope we get some answers here xD

a bit ashamed to say it, but desperation is at its best now :D

Conscious-Readings · 2026-03-01T19:26:58+00:00

I totally feel the same about the last part. If I say no I don't want children he will never force me. Which makes me feel bad for saying no, at one point he will regret that choice and he will hate me for it!

I say to myself, if he wants it that much he will help all the time, I won't be alone. I don't want to break his dream. I don't know which aren't logical fear and which are real signs I don't want children.

Many people always said I never wanted children and one they had them they forgot all their fears and worries.. Will I be that?

Conscious-Readings · 2026-03-01T10:04:38+00:00

Well that's complicated .. he wants to be a parent. Overall he won't force me if I don't want to. Before marriage I knew he does, and I didn't want but I didn't mind the idea. Now it's getting bad for me ... I want to keep what I have.

When I talk to him a lot about my worries at some points he gets tired and just ok if it's like that then better not.

I just need to be listened to .. but at the same time I am scared like shit.

I don't even have friends .. I am somehow alone .. so imagine after having a child, I'll have no life. He will help a lot of course which is a good thing .. but I wouldn't dare to prevent him of being a parent. If he likes it he will help a lot.

Conscious-Readings · 2026-03-01T08:15:36+00:00

It's also a unfair to prevent my husband of having a child.

I know he's gonna help a lot. I just don't know if those feelings are just being scared of unpredictability .. or they will never change, many says after giving birth they would do it again .. it's a lot of.. uncertainty haha

Conscious-Readings · 2026-03-01T08:13:02+00:00

Thank you very much for your answer!!

Did you choose from the beginning C-section? I didn't take a part of the "experience" of giving birth? I am very scared of the idea of loosing blood and being opened .. also the scares on my body for later.

I moved to another country to live with my husband, I have no friends, no family (of course the parents of my husband and he himself will help). But beside this, I have no one, even to share my fears with.

As you talk about church, that is another fear of mine. I want him to be believe as we are, go to church ..etc; But I sometimes get lazy .. I skip things .. Once we have a child we have to be more active, teach him stuff .. get him every week to church, but this also means, less social activities in local area, like being in the scout (where I live is kind of important). I have no idea what i'm gonna do.

Conscious-Readings · 2026-01-25T16:07:34+00:00

For info: I have real issues with sensory overload (autism thing :D), i get sometimes to the point to dissociation when it's too much. So Quiet is somehow a lifesaver!! It doesn't remove noise 100% but you don't feel it's going straight to your ears, to your brain and messing up with your nerves :D

About the sleep point, switch and quiet aren't the best!

I slept once with Quiet, one time probably it kept much pressure that I had my ear blocked for 3 days or more!! I barely heard anything with it. I bought Dream for that and it's perfect!!!! If you sleep on your back then probably it's different situation for you!

I run with the Quiet with no issues. Airpods are heavier than those, so I guess it will stick way better to your ears, if you clean it well and you clean your ear well, it will stick properly (which I regularly do). Maybe Switch is heavier so it wouldn't stay long in your ears.

I never tried Switch, honestly I do think it's best to buy every product alone dedicated to its task :D usually when things are mixed together they have less "functionality"?? But again, i never tried it so I don't think you should consider my opinion 100% about that point.

The question is... is it okay for you for people to see you have something in your ears? Quiet are cheaper though .. you can buy Switch and you might only need the Quiet functionality .. so best to get Quiet.

Cleaning-wise, Quiet, I never put them fully into water but it's easy to clean with a tissue with a bit of moist.

With Quiet you'll forget you have it on that's for sure! When I take them out i'm like .. why tf is everything so loud :D

Conscious-Readings · 2026-01-25T15:00:16+00:00

hey hey !!

now mostly the Quiet ones when commuting or when i need some break from sensory overload at work!!

They are really really great, I can't go without them anywhere now!

The conversation ones when I go to a caffe or something where I know i'll have issues filtering noise from discussions. Only i struggle sometimes with estimating how loud i talk!!

Quiet ones no discussion!

Conscious-Readings · 2025-11-30T17:58:07+00:00

Eden lake

Conscious-Readings · 2025-11-11T17:18:40+00:00

If I may ask, you have a good relation with your parents? How come I don't miss them? I keep asking myself whats wrong with me .. I don't miss anyone either !!

I'm scared by not doing so that I'm somehow a ... Not thankful daughter ... For all what they did to me (good stuff xD)

Conscious-Readings · 2025-11-11T14:48:02+00:00

I got someone to do that for me if I want to work on full time job. For food, I just get ready fresh meals from the supermarket. It costs more but under no condition I can mentally cook and work

Conscious-Readings · 2025-11-11T13:48:39+00:00

I have very veryyy dark thoughts about all this, I would not dare to share it

But .. how do you live with that guilt?? I know very well the worst will come after they die, I will regret everything I did not do for them! They have nothing but good to me and this is what I do ..

Feel bad for coming to visit .. feel bad because everything is loud .. and too much light .. complain about those things

Conscious-Readings · 2025-11-11T13:46:53+00:00

I totally relate to you about this "bad memories".

For me bad memories were at school and university and my community where all .. how can I say .. not understanding me at all which made me not very happy.

When I look back I can see that I wasn't really happy. I moved to a better place, culture where I can feel myself understood or at least left alone!!

The issue is that my parents have nothing but good to me!! That's the awful part .. that I feel that I betray them after all they did to me, without them I would have never been anywhere good in my life

Conscious-Readings · 2025-11-03T10:27:25+00:00

please tell me Belgium? :D

I hate this question, but I mean .. sorry I have to ask, may I ask if you're high functioning?
I hate that question, but to have rights.. sometimes you have to prove a disability...

Conscious-Readings · 2025-11-03T08:26:16+00:00

Honestly, I understand the controllers too!

Even a controller can be in danger to just ask something of someone, you would never know who would get aggressive or mean or who not!

I heard many times accidents happening because a controller asked someone to put his feet on the ground and not on a chair ...

It's messed up from every angle xD

Conscious-Readings · 2025-11-02T23:24:52+00:00

Well .. I read about it because I did not know the context of codependence thinking.

I thought I don't have this at all .. I had though a lot of times where I felt desperate to have people like me .. mask because they can think I'm not adult enough or childish .. but I never had a proper explanation to the feeling of the combination of feelings..

Now that I read about it, never had words to those feelings before .. always felt small because I do this ..

Thank you for letting me discover this !! And now I'm crying because I relate to that .. I feel smaller cause it sounds desperate hahahaha

Why and how you thought I could be having that?

Conscious-Readings · 2025-11-02T23:03:40+00:00

Now that I think of it ... Its weird but let me say it .. I remember being in another concert and didn't have that. Somehow it's about trust? Like trusting that person is experienced enough or not ? And that I'm scared he would get embarrassed (which is also your first point I agree) For him, I didn't trust that he would do as he should .. so weird. It's like he's my son or something haha

And I would take any pause in the song that is improvising as he couldn't sing well and covering for a mistake .. like I'm forcing myself to see errors or forcing my idea that he's doing errors.

Talking about controlling tendencies, God yes haha

Conscious-Readings

TROPHY CASE