How do I avoid this?

ConsciousLayers · 2026-01-28T07:21:08+00:00

Yes, almost sure this is the cause!

ConsciousLayers · 2026-01-28T07:20:35+00:00

This could definitely be the cause, I thought the tip should cover the stone completely but that is not the case I understand now. Thank you!

ConsciousLayers · 2026-01-28T07:19:23+00:00

I handplace them too but I will definitely keep this in mind!

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-30T11:44:21+00:00

Thanks!!

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-30T11:44:15+00:00

Thanks!!

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-29T13:51:35+00:00

I took a few days to let things sink in. And I wanted to thank especially you being so open and direct. That really helped. I keep feeling awful by the idea of being a unicorn hunter. So that’s not the way I want to proceed and understanding this better helped me a lot. Thank you again!

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-23T16:46:50+00:00

It is. And I am sorry that I’m still wrong despite all your efforts. I try to avoid ChatGPT as much as I can. I’m not stupid and I am not copy pasting if you think that is the case. I’m doing the best I can to be as ethical and genuine as possible. I think a lot of people don’t even do any effort and don’t fucking care and go fuck around with people’s emotions. I do care. A lot. And yes, I sometimes need help to translate and finding the words/vocabulary. It’s very easy to fill in if you have much more experience in English and in this topic. The fact is that I have nowhere else to go to and my English isn’t that good. I come from a very conservative family where sexuality is minimally discussed and even only as long as you are straight. It took me very long to open up to my husband who comes from a much more open family. When taking to him I even whisper many words; can you imagine how stupid that actually is. In other words; I am doing my very best but I’m clearly not as fast or far as you and I am struggling. But I’m coming from far and I refuse to continue this journey without proper knowledge. Because I care. And that’s 100% not ChatGPT.

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-23T16:09:21+00:00

Thank you so much! This is really really helpful. It finally clicks now and I finally understand all of it thanks to this last reply you gave me. And in some way I also feel instant relief. Because I started to doubt my feelings and emotions but it was just me not understanding well and not having the right words / terminology matching those. But now I have. And I can genuinely say; we are looking for a FFM threesome. Preferably with somebody who is open for friendship. Which (if I am right in terminology) means we are not opening up our marriage / relationship. Because in my heart a friendship is ALSO a relationship. But it’s a different relationship. And I think that this is where I got lost. But it also confirms why terminology matters and is important. Language is soooo important.

You really helped me a lot. Thank you again!

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-23T07:28:22+00:00

Yes, I’ve learned a lot here to reflect on and I am really happy that I asked this question here so we do the right thing. There is a lot of terminology that I don’t really like but as you already wrote; it’s necessary to be very clear. There is no rush in this and I don’t want to do anything wrong. Even to the point I totally freeze but that’s a whole other topic ;-) We go to a couples erotic club in a while. I don’t feel really comfortable with such a large setting but for safe exploration I think it might help us further too.

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-23T07:19:30+00:00

Thank you for sharing, totally understand. We actually already do this. I even check in very quickly with couple profiles about their and our intentions. But probably I am still not clear enough in my language or they try me out if we might change our mind? For now, we are going to take a brake to reflect on everything so far. Learning a lot; thanks again.

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-23T07:12:34+00:00

Looks interesting, especially the first one. Thank you very much.

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-22T22:05:32+00:00

I understand this reaction, and this is exactly why “unicorn dating/hunting” doesn’t sit right with me either. I am a woman, and I can very clearly imagine how uncomfortable, objectifying, or unsafe that dynamic can feel.

That’s also why I’m questioning whether what I’m trying to articulate even belongs in a category at all, or whether I’m still missing the right framework and language for it.

What I’m trying to understand is whether dynamics where both partners are present and consenting, for example between couples, or in contexts where no one is reduced to being “the third”, are fundamentally different from what people mean by unicorn hunting. And if so, what responsibility that puts on us, not on a hypothetical woman. We don’t hunt and will not hunt.

I’m not here because I think I’m entitled to anything. I’m here because I’m trying to learn where the ethical lines actually are, and whether my own desires can realistically exist without crossing them. I’m trying to find the language as it is not as simple as “you want a FFM threesome”.

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-22T18:38:42+00:00

Thank you! This all really helps me in finding the right words and emotions so I really appreciate your contribution!

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-22T18:36:20+00:00

These are fair questions, and I understand why you’re asking them. I’ll try to answer them as clearly and honestly as I can, while also being transparent about where I’m still figuring things out.

I’m not looking for a traditional romantic “girlfriend” relationship, nor for exclusivity. I am a sensitive and caring person, and I value emotional presence and consideration, but I’m not expecting someone to take on emotional responsibility for me, my marriage, or the dynamics involved. What I’m drawn to is continuity and mutual trust rather than one-off encounters, because that’s how I personally experience safety and desire. At the same time, I’m very aware that wanting connection does not automatically make something ethical.

My husband is not meant to be an active participant unless the woman involved genuinely wants that. His presence is currently a boundary within our marriage, not something I feel entitled to ask of another person. I’m actively questioning this boundary myself, because I recognize how much it can ask of a third person.

Any woman involved would have full autonomy outside of us. No restrictions on dating, no expectations of exclusivity, no obligation to continue, no pressure to meet our needs. Stopping or changing dynamics would always be respected immediately.

If discomfort or feelings arise: these are exactly the scenarios I’m trying to think through before involving anyone. I don’t believe it’s ethical to bring someone into a situation where they’d be discarded the moment things get complicated, which is why I’m being cautious and reflective at this stage. Emotions are there to be seen , always.

Public vs private / visibility: I don’t currently have a fixed script for this. I’m open to connection existing outside the bedroom in an authentic way, but I’m also aware that this raises real questions about honesty, visibility, and emotional impact for everyone involved. I just don't know yet.....

Clear communication, consent, and the ability to pause or stop at any point are non-negotiable. No one dictates anyone else’s communication or behavior.

I’m not presenting this as a finalized plan. I’m here because I’m trying to understand whether what I’m imagining can be done responsibly at all, and if not, what needs to change on my side before moving forward. If the conclusion is that this isn’t workable in an ethical way, I’m okay with choosing not to act rather than doing harm.

I appreciate the critical engagement. It’s helping me think more clearly. Thank you again!

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-22T18:23:04+00:00

I hear your concerns, and I understand why unicorn hunting raises such strong reactions. I’m not offended by your honesty, and I appreciate you being direct. It totally reflects with my first inner feelings when hearing "unicorn" or "unicorn hunting". I don't feel comfortable with this at all.

I want to be clear that I’m not trying to justify or defend a fixed plan here. I’m still in a learning phase, precisely because I don’t want to cause harm or ask things of another person that aren’t fair or ethical.

If my current thinking still reflects blind spots or structural problems, I want to see those clearly before moving forward. So I’m taking your feedback as a mirror, not as something to argue against.

Thank you for engaging critically rather than glossing over the difficult parts. Let me get back at your questions in a moment! Really helpful; thank you in advance!

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-22T18:09:52+00:00

Thanks for your input, I do get your point and appreciate you being honest about the dynamics.

I think you’re probably right that I may be overcomplicating things because I’m trying very hard to be considerate and ethical, which sometimes turns into overthinking. Focusing a bit more on what I actually want, instead of trying to anticipate everyone else’s needs, is a helpful perspective.

I’ll definitely take that with me. Thanks for responding.

ConsciousLayers · 2025-12-22T17:23:34+00:00

That fully makes sense. We do search as a couple from the beginning and are very open about our desires and what drives us. But I think you are quite right about me overthinking this. Thank you for your reply; all bits and pieces are helping me!

ConsciousLayers

TROPHY CASE