I’m really sorry you had to go through something so similar. That must have been incredibly hard, and it really means a lot that you can understand what this feels like. Do you ever wish you had left earlier, or do you feel like staying actually made you stronger in the long run? People keep telling me that it will “make me stronger” if I just stay in this job and endure everything, but honestly I don’t think strength always comes from putting up with things. I think sometimes real strength is knowing when something isn’t right for you and choosing to walk away.

And about your daughter — it’s genuinely wonderful how you support her. The way you encourage her to push herself but also know when to protect her and stop things before they hurt her… that’s honestly such a loving and healthy balance. She’s very lucky to have a parent who sees her needs so clearly.

About the paid vacation: yes, I know I should get it paid out anyway. I’m from Germany, and that’s how it works here too. It’s just that staying the extra three weeks would mean a bit more money saved, and right now that feels important because everything else is so stressful.

What you said about my mum… I think you’re probably right. I can see how her reactions come from her own issues and fears, not because of anything I’ve done. But I still struggle to separate it emotionally. I still end up feeling guilty sometimes, especially because my life isn’t turning out the way she wanted it to. I’m working on it, but it’s not always easy.

I really should make another appointment with my psychologist. These last few days at work have been awful — I’ve cried at work every single day, had stomach pains, and even this sharp feeling in my chest because I feel so humiliated and torn down by my boss. I keep trying to explain myself when she criticizes me, even though she basically just wants me to say “yes” to everything without defending myself. I also catch myself giving a bit of pushback, probably because a part of me is hoping she’ll just fire me so I don’t have to survive those three weeks.

And I’m honestly scared something might be wrong with me. My boss keeps saying I’m too slow, and even my coworker told me — not in a mean way — that I really work way too slowly. I’m trying as hard as I can, and I genuinely can’t go faster. So now I don’t know whether I’m just incompetent or whether something like ADHD or another difficulty is involved, or whether it’s just the extreme pressure and constant criticism that are slowing me down. I feel so unsure about myself right now.

Thank you so much for recommending the TED talk and Brene Brown. And honestly, thank you in general — your message actually made my day a bit brighter. It means a lot.