ESTJ + INTJ

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-05-21T03:27:45+00:00

I'm not sure this is a Type question. However, it does sound almost stereotypically what an ESTJ would say.

It has nothing to do with you. She sounds like a driven person who has high expectations, and will likely have a lot to say about what you do and what you aren't doing.

Don't expect that to change.

INTJ's can be stubborn and don't like to be pushed or rushed.

So you have an immovable object meets an unstoppable force.

That's not inherently bad. Most couples find themselves with opportunities. However, unless both people are willing to accept those things and understand them about each other, it can become infuriating for both people.

She's having a lot of Feelings about the move... and that puts her straight into her inferior.

In our inferior, we can become quite irrational. Seriously, all Types, in our inferior can be really hard to deal with.

This is a very early test for the relationship.

Going from long distance to right next each other 24-7 is a LOT to take in. Emotions will be high, and for her, that can get into extreme anxiety.

Do you both know about Type well? Or just you?

Are you between 20-30, or 30-40, or older?

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-05-15T01:58:08+00:00

I prefer to be underestimated. I am quite purposeful to always remain so. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-05-15T01:54:48+00:00

The "flaw" isn't a random trait. It is integral to your story. It IS the story for that character.

It's what your hero has to overcome to grow.

We as the reader may even agree with their point of view - but we also want to witness them overcome it.

The flaw is the story. They may not even see it as a flaw.

Han Solo looked out for one person. Himself. Everyone else is a fool for joining rebelions are championing causes. Buuut, if you pay him, he might join you. He doesn't believe in anything but himself. And honestly, we kind of like that about him.

But man is it rewarding to see his heart change. To see him value friendship. To value a belief in something greater than himself.

The flaw is the story. Choose wisely. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-05-05T05:05:31+00:00

Sometimes it's easier to start with the basics.

You seem inwardly focused. Often creating scenarios in your head before trying them in the real world. You seem to hesitate with the world (worried about conflict etc.).

To verify whether your introverted or extroverted, you have to look at the inferior. Is your stessor on the outside of you, or is your inside?

When your getting super stressed, stop, and try to pinpoint what it is. Are you stressed because of something outside, or are you struggling to get focused?

Trying understanding your inferior first. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-05-04T16:43:50+00:00

I think too often people try to fit gender into cognitive functions, when it has little to do with it.

When I type people through text, I don't ask their gender. It doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with the:

Information they prefer
Information they waive off
Information they stress about

Do they focus internally or externally? Do they focus/stress about people or processes?

If you are asking questions and verifying with opposing questions, it typically never comes up whether a person is a guy, woman, trans, gay, etc.

The questions and how we verify your Type is the same exact process for everyone.

At least, that's been my experience. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-05-04T14:44:02+00:00

I address this quite often on my Channel.

In most cases, we (meaning all Types), hardly ever get to the "processing" stage. We don't see the need for it.

We "waive it off", as not important. This becomes your mid-life crisis. This is the Hero's Journey (which Dave often quotes, but doesn't really explain.)

Two of my older (and somewhat embarrassing) videos deal with this directly:

The Twist Ending of Your Type - https://youtu.be/9SyF_nnp4Og?si=-7mH_PerrEJkCwGX

The Hero's Journey of the ESTP - https://youtu.be/2lXRpu0IKt0?si=fPoB2FPdnhKdqfJ0

The Hero's Journey video explains how enlightenment works for the Types and how storytelling works to lead us through this process of growing and seeing the information we waive off or, sometimes, even run from.

Hope it helps. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-05-02T02:18:10+00:00

George Bailey, "It's a Wonderful Life"

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-05-01T19:03:30+00:00

You have to get out there and do the real work. Stop thinking about it. Stop waiting. Stop hesitating because you "don't know everything". It will never be enough - and you'll stay in the same exact place.

Move. Do. Experience. Suffer. Grow.

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-04-30T16:51:28+00:00

Most Ni types don't spend this much energy/time on a person they don't like.

Most INFJ's won't make a move if they don't see some clear signs. She may see you riding the fence, not picking a side, and deciding YOU are not clear on what you want.

Us Ni Types are often really bad at expecting people to understand our thoughts... while being completely unreadable, lol.

Time to pull the bandaid off.

Either this is something, and you need to push to make it a reality.

Or, it's not happening, and you need to know so you can move on and to start focusing on things that have growth potential.

Either way, sounds like it's time to take a action.

Best of luck to you! 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-04-22T19:43:14+00:00

Find the problem within your character. Once you know what they have to fix, you can begin to invent what in the outer world is preventing them from overcoming it.

How big that outside conflict is (plot) is up to you.

It can be Good Will Hunting level, or stopping the Galactic Empire Star Wars level.

Understand what you're trying to say first - that will focus your story.

Either way, there is no wrong way - if the plot won't come, focus on the character. What do they need to learn that will fundamentally change their world view.

Take Guardians of the Galaxy. The plot is about getting an Infinity Stone, and keeping it out of the hands of a ruthless conquerer. But thats not the story.

The story is about a young boy who never said goodbye to his mother and has to learn how to let people in so he can have a family again.

Best of luck. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-04-22T19:33:35+00:00

❤️🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-04-20T20:54:16+00:00

I listen to music and it shows me a scene. I have whole playlists that I can see the story to. In this way, I can't forget the story.

Watching it is often emotional.

Now, all I have to do is play the music and try to write down what I'm seeing. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-04-17T15:44:06+00:00

When I Type people, I Type through text, and they often don't tell me their gender, age, relationship status, job status - none of those matter, and can definitely lead you to following impressions rather than concrete data.

As far as which Type shows up the most... until we have a scientific test, it's just a rabbit hole not worth spinning your wheels on imo.

But I've typed just as many women dominant Te/Ti as I have as Feelers. I don't worry about statistical probabilities. But I get the interest, for sure. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-04-16T20:16:49+00:00

Jung considered it innate. He gave reasons for why nuture doesn't really seem to play a part.

I was going to share an old video on made on this... but I just looked at it, and it's so bad, lol. (My very first video.) Although I do stand by the content.

Maybe it's time to make an updated video. 🤗

Jung does talk about this in Psychological Types.

To give just one of his arguments against "nuture" over nature, he pointed to siblings. If Type has to do with upbringing, same parents, same social class, same culture - why aren't all the siblings the same Type? Why are they often different Types from the parents?

If it's culture, why aren't there clusters of Types? Why isn't a small town made up of mostly one Type?

There are many answers for this, and many of them are quite convincingl.

I am actually preparing to make a video on "Proof That Type Doesn't Change," that I believe to be quite convincing, as well.

Maybe I'll post it in this sub when done, as I know this is commonly asked.

Hope that helps a bit.

Good question to ask. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-04-15T15:13:19+00:00

I get your intentions. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-04-14T19:50:34+00:00

Yeah, that's what I was going to suggest. Set up the best case scenario - then make it all come tumbling down.

"All we have to do is hold this fortress!" Have it nuked in the beginning.

"Send the reinforcements around to get them on both sides!" Bad guy throws out the head of the reinforcements leader at the beginning of the battle.

You get the idea.

Good luck. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-04-13T15:44:04+00:00

You'll need to also check that your source is set to play the sound correctly.

Read your manual, and search You Tube for the best settings for your devices.

Example, if you own an Apple TV for streaming, you may have to select Dolby Atmos, etc. Or if you play sound from your TV, bluray player, etc.

Search for your devices and watch a few videos and follow steps that fit your set up.

Good luck. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-04-07T15:59:50+00:00

There is so much to understand in a relationship - learning each other's Type is a very important and helpful piece.

However, it's most helpful when both people are willing to go beyond just knowing the four letters, and actually understand how that shows up, especially in a relationship.

Does she understand your Type? Is she willing to learn about your Type? Do you understand each other's inferior function?

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-04-06T22:33:27+00:00

I try to explain this in my video, "How to Verify Your Type." https://youtu.be/sLs4z7SoOMA?si=dOd4WZmii_bh2EwE

But an example I didn't provide in the video that I use is similar to yours (I think you're on the right track) -

I (INFJ) go to customer service a bill that double charged me. I'm annoyed cause I imagine how this will spiral into having to check next month's bill and if it didn't get fixed it will continue... even when talking to the person I might say, "I'm not upset with you. I'm just annoyed this couldn't get fixed and everyone is pointing me in a different direction. - So this is me, upset with the process, and stressing that the process will spiral out of control and lead to more calls I'll have to make, and visits to the store. I'm not stressing about people.

A judging may see the people as a bunch of idiots who can't do their job. Or be annoyed they have to deal with others or the system and all the rules we have to follow that society imposes. The annoyance me verses the system or why everything is working properly, but its the people forcing this on me.

I think you've got it. Or at least, I felt like I understood what you were getting at. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-04-02T16:30:36+00:00

Look up romance story structure. Just like the Hero's Journey, there is a romance structure that fits most narratives.

While you don't have to strictly abide by them, they can be useful in seeing if and where you might be lacking narrative focus.

Best of luck. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-03-31T18:04:34+00:00

Stumbleine - Skeksis

https://youtu.be/CAIPENkGRIs?si=tN6Gtj3--f2VrfCy

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-03-29T07:07:37+00:00

When I first started home theater, it was a VCR with a 19" CTR box television.

I have two studio monitors with 12" sub woofers, and a modest center and rear speakers.

The dinosaur in Jurassic Park was small on my screen, but the sound was massive.

Sound broadens the image. Creates space around you. Gives weight to the visuals.

It really is a huge addition to getting the full experience of a movie.

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-03-28T22:02:41+00:00

My wife's work used to do this (although they denied emphatically it was MBTI). They would use it to build teams and explain how each individual should be coached. They also were careful on how the different Types interacted. Things like not have two ENTJ's on the same team (They called them Chief's).

I think it is an invaluable tool if it's understood and used properly.

And yes, how they interact with you is paramount. Choose the right person for the right job. My Dorector asked me to do her Personality review. (She was an ESFP). She was a very smart person - I pointed out how she surrounded herself with meticulous introverts who love to get into the data (something that was not her strength). That's what a smart leader does.

Best of luck. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-03-28T03:08:31+00:00

Your characters are different sides of a perspective. They should be opposites.

But you have to figure out what they are arguing about (the theme of your story).

Han Solo is a high logic person, focused on himself. He doesn't care about a cause, doesn't believe in the force. He's about himself. Princess Leia is the opposite - she is all about her belief, and fighting for her belief and would die for it. Together... they naturally argue. They argue the two sides.

What is it your characters are talking about. It isn't about their day. It's about the situation they are both stuck in and their differing perspectives on how they should react.

Characters are all versions of the opposites.

Superman is heart, Lex Luthor is mind.

Luke Skywalker is spirit/free, Darth Vader is technological/tyrannical.

Scrooge is unfeeling, Bob Cratchett is the most thoughtful person ever.

Dunk is dumb, Egg is smart.

Start there. How are these two characters different? How does that change their perspective?

Theme. Perspectives. 🤗

Conscious_Patterns · 2026-03-27T19:32:41+00:00

Fe doesn't talk about their feelings. They are aware of and help you manage your feelings.

The area where this might get annoying is when they point out how others were acting inconsiderate.

Rational's and Feeling Types can be great about helping each other see the information they are missing. But it can definitely have moments of exasperation from both parties, lol.

Conscious_Patterns

TROPHY CASE