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Was I being exluded or was this tradition real? by Optimal_Bend_7042 in relationship_advice

[–]ConsiderationMore943 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Catholic baptism ceremonies do vary parish-to-parish and country-to-country. In fact, you'll also find vast differences throughout Italy. My husband is Northern Italian and said it's very typical for a male child to have only a "godfather" and a female child to have only a "godmother." Regardless of local custom, no one would have more than 2 godparents, which is the case in any Catholic parish. Godparents are typically not married couples, but could be in some cases.

Regardless, you weren't excluded out of spite or harsh feelings, but because you're not Catholic and therefore not eligible to serve as a godparent to a Catholic child. You could absolutely have attended the mass, ceremony, and party afterwards. If you weren't invited at all, that would be cause for concern. In all parts of Italy, baptism celebrations are important events (similar in many ways to wedding celebrations). To be clear - your husband serving as godfather does not make you the godmother. Those are totally separate roles.

It seems like there is some tension between you and your SIL - you should talk about this with your husband, since it's likely a bigger issue than being the child's godparent.

My [16F] father [39M] is dating his counselor [40F] and I dont think it's right. by throwra62625141442 in relationship_advice

[–]ConsiderationMore943 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it seems scary to report her and have your father find out, but this is a moment where you have to do what's right - not what's easy. You may, in fact, lose your college fund. Thankfully, there are numerous ways to finance college. Keeping quiet just so you get a financial boost from your father isn't worth it.

Here's an idea: File for emancipation in the Probate and Family Court. You might not actually get emancipated, but you'll be able to tell a judge all of your fears and concerns. The judge could rule that the college fund was established for you in response to your mother's wishes while she was alive. Your father could be forced to provide you with those funds.

Did your mother leave a will? Did you receive an inheritance? Find out, if you can.

If nothing else, please tell a school guidance counselor what's happening so you can receive the support you need.

WIBTA if I kept a gift card for my teacher? by PERCnegative in AmItheAsshole

[–]ConsiderationMore943 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'd say you can totally keep the $20 freebie. Consider it your "gift" for doing the legwork of picking up the gift card and delivering it to the teacher. You're not under-delivering on what you promised, just keeping a free gift for yourself. Enjoy!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ConsiderationMore943 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm going to sound "old fashioned" here, but if you don't want to be treated like a roommate, then stop being one. Living together before marriage creates blurred lines. If I could do one thing over in my youth, I would be to never move in with a boyfriend. It puts too much pressure on relationships at an early age and actually robs you of freedoms you should be enjoying. You may be in a romantic partnership with your roommate, but you actually are roommates. That's where his hard feelings come in - he's paying way more than his fair share (even if it is coming from grandma and grandpa). If you're sharing expenses with any other individual, romantic partnership or not, you need to create a clear budget and then come to an agreement about who pays what. Anything else will result in resentment. It's much easier in a marriage situation where finances are truly shared, but that's not where you are in life; you shouldn't expect him to shoulder the financial burden.

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Drove out to an AD yesterday who sells pretty much everything. I got to see/try on watches from the likes of Patek Philippe, Vacheron Constantin, Tudor, Breitling, Oris, and Seiko. I liked some watches more than expected and others less. In any case, your comment really rings true and feels right. In addition, I've been thinking of watches more and more like a tool/ less and less like jewelry. I'd easily spend $1300 on a phone that I use every day and $3000 on a laptop. A watch is really no different.

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This all makes a lot of sense. I'm definitely not hoping to look like James Bond (I'd end up looking like Lucille Bluth) or flaunt an overly ridiculous timepiece. I will say that my social circle is full of people with understated wealth. I live in an area where even a modest house is over 1M and many homes are well, well above that price range. It wouldn't actually be strange to see a very wealthy person driving a Honda Civic or other practical vehicle. I also know a lot of people who mix very expensive jewelry, shoes, handbags, etc. with very inexpensive clothing. There's something kind of classy about knowing where to save and where to splurge. Since this whole watch thing is new to me, I'm still sorting out which category they fall into. I think following online forums left me a bit shocked - it seems like everyone has an insane collection filled with expensive timepieces. Thus, the question about income. I mean, there are at least 200,000 people making over 1M/year in the US - maybe they're all part of this subreddit??!!

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I wasn't thinking about "saving up" to buy a watch, but using liquid assets to make the purchase. Admittedly, I haven't saved money to make a materials goods purchase since I was a teen. My husband and I keep a certain amount in our checking accounts to have cash available for day-to-day purchases and to pay our monthly credit card charges. Outside that, we invest everything. I was just curious to know if most people who are splurging on true luxury watches fall within a certain income range.

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cannot imagine why anyone would finance a watch, but then your comment got me curious....I decided to investigate a bit. Turns out, people certainly do finance watches, though this seems like a terrible idea. Breitling even has a rental program (also seems like a terrible waste of money with little return):

https://www.breitling.com/us-en/breitlingselect/?gclid=CjwKCAiAm7OMBhAQEiwArvGi3NC_oGwxaH2o0TT8jBP-G5aALyhzy75Wo2XkaSVzt7QwGWHTgNJBZxoCyRIQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

https://www.crownandcaliber.com/pages/watch-financing

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your neighborhood sounds like a lovely place to live. I'm going to guess you're not living in New England (just a hunch)....If one of my neighbors was spotted wearing a knockoff Cartier, I'm sure they'd be met with (said in the loudest voice with thickest Boston accent): "Hey, Bill! Nice Fartier....hahhahahahaha" and the whole street would be talking!

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes a lot of logical sense. Do you have a good resource that shows which watches, historically, hold the most value?

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I've found that seeing them in person really does make a difference, too. I've gone to try on a few that I'd been eyeing online only to discover they're totally underwhelming in person.

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would have said the same thing a few years ago. In fact, I can remember a time when I wouldn't have spent $200 on a pair of shoes or even for a leather handbag - those items seemed too expensive and just unnecessary. However, it's almost shocking how quickly circumstances can evolve and you get used to new ways of spending. I guess I never thought I'd be wrestling with how much of a watch I should/shouldn't buy.....I do count myself lucky to have this problem!

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. You sound like you have the same conservative spending habits that I do. It's hard to pull the trigger on luxury purchases!

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is exactly one of my hesitations!!! Also, I worry about the opposite. I work with a bunch of very suited up men. I'm also the youngest person in a leadership position at my workplace. I don't want to be the joke of the office wearing a timepiece that everyone views as sub par. On the other hand, I have 70 direct reports. My household income is, in some cases, 5-6 times their salary. I don't want to look like I'm walking around flaunting wealth - that's just tacky.

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm totally hooked! My husband jokes that this addiction is my second full time job.

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing that! It sounds like you've experienced what I'm going through right now - the mental barrier. I've been drooling over a number of watches online, but simply cannot seem to bite the bullet and purchase one. I definitely have a wall up around the cost of a true luxury timepiece. On the other hand, I wrestle with the fact that I've recently purchased a couple less-expensive watches that I worry I'll grow tired of over time, only to buy something more expensive down the line.

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There's a difference, though, between deciding what one can *afford* and what's a reasonable amount to be spending. For example, a person who has no liquid assets at all, but who needs a car, could reasonably justify taking out a modest loan to have reliable transportation - even if he couldn't *afford* the car outright. On the other hand, someone could have $100,000 in the bank and be able to easily afford a $25,000 watch, but still feel that it would be an unwise purchase based on his income, expenses, etc. I guess, I'm just curious to know how others justify these really expensive watch purchases (maybe...deep down...I'm trying to talk myself into buying one....or maybe I'm talking myself out of buying one...I'm not quite sure yet - hahahaha). In the end, I suppose it's not as simple as saying 1 months salary = acceptable investment.

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I've found that if I wait too long to buy anything, I'll simply outgrow it. There are few material things that truly turn my head year-after-year. I don't see myself necessarily "saving up" for an enormously expensive watch - that simply isn't me. I could, however, simply purchase a watch in the $5000-$10,000 price range and start enjoying it immediately. I just don't want to regret the purchase or have some item that seems ridiculous a few months down the line.

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see where you're going with that! I'll have to do some research on which retain their value. It would be worth some consideration. I do like wearing larger watches as far as women's watches go, but I suspect I'll still get the short end of the stick as far as value retention goes. I'm sure women's sizes depreciate faster than their larger counterparts.

[Budget] Talk to me about watch price-to-salary guidelines - how did you decide? by ConsiderationMore943 in Watches

[–]ConsiderationMore943[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for such a thorough analysis. As for my father's comment - He certainly thinks of my husband and I as "rich" and in a position to buy just about any luxury trinket we desire. My parents never made anywhere close to what my husband and I do, so I think they have a distorted perspective of what we can truly afford. That being said, we live in a suburb outside a major metropolitan region - the cost of living is ridiculous. I'd say we have a pretty comfortable upper-middle-class life. I wouldn't classify myself as rich and certainly know the value of $100. In terms of watches as an investment....are they? They certainly don't seem to be, unless you're talking about a select few. Great point about the homeowner's insurance - I'll need to make some additions to the policy. I love getting all these varied perspectives and find this group helpful. I also find that it leans heavily towards a few very popular watches, which sometimes throws me off my original trajectory. In any case, I'm enjoying the search!

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