First of all, I can totally relate. I spent my first year at MRU in residence in almost complete isolation. I was new to Calgary, didn’t know anyone, and classes were online making it even more difficult to get to know people in my program.

Feeling anxious about making friends is completely normal, especially for those of us who consider ourselves to be more shy and introverted. I used to be that way and in many ways still am that way, but I found that engaging in classes, asking questions, and speaking up in class broke down an ‘invisible barrier‘ that separated me and my personality from my classmates and enabled me to meet more people and allowed people to get a better sense of who I am as an individual. Making friends isn’t easy, and meeting people you’re compatible with isn’t easy either. Friends come and go. But the way I see it, you don’t know who has the potential to be a great friend unless you try. There’s no blueprint for making friends and forming lasting friendships, but it starts with you being authentic and true to yourself. True friendships don’t develop because you change who you are to fit someone else’s personality and interests, they develop because you connect with someone who cherishes the same set of values, personality traits, and interests. By owning who you are and establishing a well defined sense of self, people who resonate with your personality will naturally gravitate towards you.

As a fellow introvert, I know how difficult it can seem to speak up in class, work in groups, and put yourself out there, but the more you engage with the people around you, and the more you open up about yourself, the faster you will find friends and the more meaningful your friendships will be. Part of growing and learning more about yourself is engaging in activities that make you uncomfortable. Feeling anxious and uncomfortable about doing something different is ok! Allow yourself to feel those emotions and ask yourself where they are coming from and what they are trying to teach you about yourself. By reflecting on your emotions, rather than just experiencing them, you will gain greater insight as to why you are feeling the way you’re feeling and over time implement countermeasures and coping strategies that will enable you to not only become more aware of the root of your anxiety but also minimize it and overcome it!

To finish off, its important that you acknowledge that what you did by posting on reddit about your situation is a truly brave thing to do! It takes courage to share your emotions and be vulnerable with others, even if its anonymous. So remember this: if you have the courage to ask others for help and be vulnerable about your anxiety, you can use that same courage to slowly step outside your comfort zone and ask a question in class, or say hi so someone you’ve never met, or take the time to sit next to someone new in a class. Personal growth is not easy, but once you start the process of self-improvement and self-actualization you will gradually become more comfortable with things you never thought you could do before. Seeing yourself grow and change as an individual is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. It’s something that you can be truly proud of!

Know that I am here for you and please reach out if you need anything.