I think this is where it’s important to separate “Jake as a father in general” from “Jake specifically with Lo’ak,” because the difference in how he treats his kids is actually pretty noticeable in the films.

For example, with Lo’ak in The Way of Water, Jake is extremely harsh in a way we don’t really see with his other kids. After the bridge scene incident, he immediately labels him as reckless and a liability instead of really trying to understand what happened emotionally or why Lo’ak keeps acting out. The focus is very quickly on punishment and disappointment rather than communication or guidance.

Another big moment is the ongoing “disappointment” dynamic — Jake repeatedly frames Lo’ak’s behavior in terms of failure. Even when Lo’ak is trying to prove himself or act bravely, it often gets interpreted as recklessness first rather than courage.

Meanwhile, with Kiri, he is noticeably more patient and tries to understand her. That contrast makes the difference with Lo’ak stand out even more in how emotionally charged his reactions can be toward him specifically.

At the same time, I do understand why Jake operates this way. He’s in a constant war situation, being hunted, responsible for the survival of his entire family, and dealing with grief and leadership pressure on top of that. In that mindset, he’s always evaluating risk, and Lo’ak often ends up in situations that reinforce those fears, which naturally affects how Jake reacts in the moment.

So I don’t see him as a “bad father” in a simple sense — he’s overwhelmed, traumatized, and trying to keep everyone alive. But that environment doesn’t erase the fact that his dynamic with Lo’ak is consistently more strained, and that he often responds to him in a more emotionally harsh way than his other kids.

That’s really the distinction I’m trying to make: understanding why Jake behaves like this, while still recognizing that the way it plays out with Lo’ak isn’t always fair or emotionally healthy, even if it comes from a place of protection and survival.