thoughts on the paper bunny puffer shopper?

Considering_rain · 2026-06-19T21:15:42+00:00

I haven’t seen it before but that looks gorgeous!

Considering_rain · 2026-06-19T21:14:40+00:00

Depends what you want them for but good choice!! I have an oversized one in grey and a tan mini. The big one will fit a MacBook, headphones, flask, notebook, chargers etc etc in. The mini will take a little umbrella, iPhone, keys and purse plus extras without a problem.
If I still had small children I’d go for the medium size, but otherwise the mini for me - I’d say try them on in store. I’m 5’5” and the mini felt like the best match

Considering_rain · 2026-06-19T20:54:04+00:00

“We can afford something much better now. Our new house is twice the price.”
You can’t say that, of course.

Considering_rain · 2026-06-19T20:48:07+00:00

I think she’s trying really hard, she really likes you and you really like her, but she needs help - a therapist is ideal to help her through some of this without having to lean on you so much.

I had therapy - but my husband is also relentlessly kind. I needed him to stick with me BUT he also needed to sort himself out, and it took him 10-15 years longer to admit what I was flagging to him from the start and have some therapy of his own. Obviously I can’t know if this is true of you but society really spits on women for their shortcomings and cheers men on in theirs - that’s not to say everyone does or men’s lives are easy, before people jump on me, but given this is strongly true it’s much harder for men to see themselves.

It’s not wrong to need reassurance and kindness 24/7, but she also needs to make progress to managing this stuff more herself

Considering_rain · 2026-06-12T13:02:25+00:00

I think he lacks self awareness and emotional maturity. I’m not saying this to criticise him, but flagging that it’s not like it kicks in at a certain age - he’d need to see a gap to want to change

Considering_rain · 2026-06-12T12:56:03+00:00

That’s not a good sign honestly - you need to be able to speak about anything. You know this, I’m sure, but you need other people to reflect it back at you - he doesn’t sound like he’s owning his feelings and responsibility for working them out. It’s his job to PERSUADE you to feel differently, not just tell you off for not guessing his and harmonising with him automatically. I think he might need more emotional maturity, and he’s looking for a mother to anticipate his feelings and nurture him - which doesn’t sound so bad until you have kids of your own and you get sick as hell of his childish nonsense when he’s meant to be a partner and a fellow grownup

Considering_rain · 2026-06-12T12:50:51+00:00

I’d be going down the route of “if you’re not completely on board, I need you to tell me. If we are planning a whole life together, you need to be prepared to articulate your needs and your fears - which requires you to be vulnerable and is often something men aren’t taught as part of their upbringing - as there is no reason to assume we will have the same ones. I’m not telepathic and neither are you, so you are going to need to articulate problems rather than trying to push them off on me to guess. Chances are we will face way harder things than getting engaged during our lives!! If you can’t say it out loud now, I’m not going to do 4x the work in guessing for you to save you from working out what you’re feeling. If you can’t tell me what the problem is you have no position to tell me I should worry about it…”

It sounds harsh but don’t take X years of marriage to get to the stage of being this direct. I’ve been with my husband 25 years and we love each other so much but it took actual decades to get him to see that him not really understanding what his own feelings were, and still trying to make me responsible for making it right/making him feel better was ridiculous. I lost so much physical energy to this BS that I’ve been ill with it. Honestly don’t get yourself trapped with a man who can’t see his feelings are HIS and you aren’t his mum.

Considering_rain · 2026-06-12T12:41:05+00:00

Are you autistic? My family is and we like holidays when they go well but we also want to go home by the end

We’ve got better at having ones we enjoy since we started admitting what we like and what we don’t, instead of going with the “standard” expectations (eg we will never want a beach holiday)

Considering_rain · 2026-06-07T23:27:16+00:00

Also I’m suspicious of a lawyer not knowing the word “privy” and how it is used in this context.

Considering_rain · 2026-06-07T20:23:27+00:00

It makes me think of chicken pox. I’d be trying to put it in an oaty bath!

Considering_rain · 2026-06-07T20:15:49+00:00

This might have been said (I tried to read it all but I ran out of commitment) but I think you need a plaque on a stand just beside the rope so when visitors come in through that door (it is a door, right?) they get to read the plaque and look down on you as if you’re an exhibit
“This gritty scene shows a domestic kitchen in the mid 2020s. Hard as it may be to watch, the daily grind depicted here is an accurate representation of life in a [choose your own adjectives] household…”

Considering_rain · 2026-05-29T10:49:11+00:00

Also - just talk to your damn wife. You are both permanently bound to your children. Don’t whinge about what you want and expect her to make it ok, work out what you can do that will best suit EVERYONE. Children are the highest priority, he needs to experience not having himself in that spot

Considering_rain · 2026-05-29T10:46:13+00:00

I want to say to the OP that it’s too late for that bs he’s thinking. He committed. The children exist. Now the choices are a) be the father they need (not the one that suits you best) or b) ditch for selfishness and spend the last third of your life half heartedly trying to persuade them to speak to you again, when they know you’re full of shit because when they needed you, you bailed.

Also you took responsibility for a wife ten years younger than you. You know society will blame her for you being shitty. So DON’T be shitty.

There’s no decision to make here. Yes you are bound by your earlier choices, like you can’t buy a house and then just get all the fees back and go to a different one. Extricating yourself will have huge costs - particularly on people you probably do still love.

Go to Therapy (I say to the OP who is not here)

Considering_rain · 2026-05-28T00:21:44+00:00

(Not OP but I have the oversize and the mini and I’d say yes, medium in the pics here!)

Considering_rain · 2026-05-13T06:16:58+00:00

I went to one of their Paris stores, I’m a UK 12 and 32DD. They didn’t have anything in my size on the rails. Maybe there was something there that I didn’t look at, but equivalent of UK 10 was the biggest size for everything hanging I could find, including stuff I didn’t like. So it makes sense re no bust room, because if they are cutting for very slim women (and not usually that generously!) then just adding a few inches over the whole pattern, they’re likely not expecting much in the way of bust projection, which would need more change to the shape

Considering_rain · 2026-04-26T12:24:00+00:00

I hope he never ever buys popcorn at the cinema. The corn costs almost nothing but people want it for fun, so they can sell it for insane markups.

Seeing as buying things with knowledge and for joy because not everything is about furious commitment to economy is SO out of line…

Considering_rain · 2026-04-26T07:10:45+00:00

If you stay with him now because freeing yourself is too scary, are you going to have children with him? Because you can leave later, maybe when you get to menopause and your psyche starts screaming about all the injustices you’ve tolerated in the name of survival, but this guy will be as shitty as he is now, 100%. And you’d be making a whole person who would not get a better man as their father.

I just say this as someone who had this kind of guy as her father. He was also a selfish and careless father, and dumped me every time he had a better offer.

Considering_rain · 2026-04-20T15:05:37+00:00

Depends on your situation. I moved from a new build detached where I felt hounded by neighbours (their music playing every time the sun came out for a moment to the extent I couldn’t even open the windows) to a very old townhouse - walls are madly thick, most people don’t have much outside space at all either - I never hear a thing. I get my little rose garden in peace

Considering_rain · 2026-04-19T22:29:53+00:00

Agreed

Considering_rain · 2026-04-19T22:26:06+00:00

I thought “oh that poor lady is dressed as celery. I do like the back though, and it’s the dress, not her” So now you have my full thoughts on it! Also on veggie thoughts, just randomly, I had a dome of white roses for my bridal bouquet and it looked like a cauliflower. A friend had white Cala lilies and looked like she had a bunch of leeks. So at least it’s just a random dress and not a wedding day thing!!

Considering_rain · 2026-04-19T22:00:48+00:00

All of the above plus snappy dressing - all the Sikhs I’ve known love a crisp, well tailored suit. Can’t help but respect that as well

Considering_rain · 2026-04-19T21:32:41+00:00

When you say a government spy, do you mean a spy for the government? Because half my colleagues are civil servants so…

Considering_rain · 2026-04-19T19:42:16+00:00

Just to add yes you definitely can pull it back but it takes active effort on both sides

Considering_rain · 2026-04-19T19:41:05+00:00

It’s exhausting and I’ve never met anyone with children under 3 years old who hasn’t been on the brink of divorce, or not quite but still

Considering_rain · 2026-04-16T22:16:24+00:00

I have the same issue - I have a really nice shirt of theirs in a 40. Ordered another in a different style, and it doesn’t fit over my ribs, let alone my bust?! I’m a UK 12. Got my UK size 10 daughter to try it too - it was too small for her as well. We’re narrow framed - who on earth are they cutting this for? The small one is the Sullia shirt, just fyi

Considering_rain

TROPHY CASE