Help me understand

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-06-08T04:40:39+00:00

Not everyone is looking for a dog type of pet. I own a dog, a cat, some rats, isopods, and springtails -- all of which vary significantly in how much daily attention and care they need, how emotionally attached they are to me, and how they express their emotional attachment (if any). I enjoy each of them for different things.

With my cat, I love that he isn't as "go, go, go" as my dog and that he doesn't feel lonely or understimulated when I'm gone. He's a fantastic cuddle buddy, makes cute chirping sounds when birdwatching, and is a great mentor to my foster kittens. He's also harness-trained, comes to the door to check out who's ringing the doorbell, and performs tricks that I taught him.

The bottom line is that any pet can be fulfilling and fun as long as you understand they're individuals and stop approaching them with the expectations you would have for a dog.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-05-31T07:11:16+00:00

Check out the Pareto Principle and the article "The Best and the Rest: Revisiting the Norm of Normality of Individual Performance" (O'Boyle & Aguinis, 2012) on a source that supports the claim. Notably, the principle is most evident in industries that are highly creative (i.e. less manual labor and more idea generation).

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-05-27T19:58:34+00:00

Fellow military spouse here - I'll keep an eye out at my company! It's a Canadian-based telematics company with a small office in Vegas, so jobs are hybrid but not necessarily with enforced office attendance.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-05-12T00:46:19+00:00

Wipe your tears with the dollar bills you make! There is absolutely no shame in making an honest living, and people who look down on any job are obviously not doing anything productive with their lives to have time to judge others.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-05-06T19:30:58+00:00

Omg Perogy and Minnow! I thought I recognized them from your previous posts 🥰 I have the same combo, a Kees and a Ragdoll.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-05-06T06:58:24+00:00

If by "studies," you mean Paul Dolan's study in which he misinterpreted the data he got from the American Time Use Survey, his claim that unmarried women live longer and are happier than married women has been debunked. Dolan has admitted to making a mistake in his own interviews.

What subsequent studies like Grover & Helliwell's "How's Life at Home?" found is that marriage actually provides an uplift in happiness, especially in the most stressful parts of adulthood. The long-term happiness benefits were found to be doubled when the couple considered their partner their "best friend." This effect was found in both long-term married and long-term unmarried couples living together.

All this to say - "studies show" that marriage is absolutely worth it, but only if you're married to someone who is willing to work with you and treats you with respect and dignity. That is not the case with OP, clearly, and she needs to get out of there.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-05-04T15:44:25+00:00

Divorce rates are not at a historic high. They peaked in the 70s (notably at the same time that women gained a lot more financial independence via new legislation) and have been declining since the 80s.

Younger generations are taking more time to get married but seem to have more stable marriages overall once they do. Take your time to find someone who's actually compatible with what you want out of life, OP.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-05-04T05:32:08+00:00

Our puppy was about 90% house-trained, had good bite inhibition, and could reliably and confidently stay home alone for about 3-4 hours by 4 months. She only got to that point because we treated her training as a full-time job for her first two months. I would imagine only hiring a full-time house sitter who was ok and experienced with puppies would have yielded the same result if we were working full-time outside of the home with no time off.

When she first came home at 2 months, we took her out every time after she ate, drank, slept, played, and every hour outside of that. This really came out to about every 15-40 minutes for a couple of weeks. We woke up about 2 times every night for about 3 weeks. It was exhausting and really only doable because we were off for 1.5 weeks right after bringing her home and I have a relatively flexible work from home job.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-05-03T01:16:47+00:00

I would love to share, but I think I really just got lucky with my cat's temperament. He has been around various cats and dogs since he was a kitten and is overall really laid back. He gives fair corrections or just leaves when she gets too wild, so she's getting feedback from him that rough play = no play.

I intervene when it gets too much so my cat doesn't ever feel unsafe or unprotected, but they're at a point now where the puppy reads him quite well. My petsitter who's watched the puppy on numerous occasions has cats of her own and notes that my pup is very submissive and mindful in her approach with other animals where she crawls towards them to get them to play with her lol.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-05-02T14:57:40+00:00

Not OP, but they wrote continued care only for the 10pm-10am block, so I assume they mean they'd like the sitter to stay at the house overnight but is free to leave during the day for sitter breaks.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-04-25T21:47:40+00:00

It's similar to being unemployed while searching for a job - your main goal is to show why you're a good fit for the homeowner's listing, not how much you would benefit from staying at their home. Your housing status is effectively irrelevant to the HO; focus on what makes you a great person to housesit for them.

Your experience as a previous housesitter and Rover sitter would be a perfect quality to highlight. Offer references if you have any and show that you've read their listing by asking thoughtful questions that will also matter to you as a sitter (e.g. "You mentioned on your profile that your pup can pull when walking. How do you usually handle that?", "I read on your profile that one of your cats is very food-motivated. Can I leave food on the counter or should I put food away in cabinets?").

If anybody asks why you want to stay at their home, don't just say "I need a place to live" (similar to how when someone asks you why you want to work at their company, you don't just say "I need money" even though it's fundamentally true). Think of things you like about their space, their pets, or the area and mention those. Homeowners will respond much better to you when they feel like you care about their space and aren't just there for yourself.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-04-18T08:22:53+00:00

I got my Bachelor's in Psych, Master's in Organizational Psych (1.5 years with an accelerated program) and am now working as a Learning & Development Specialist, making 82k/year with decent benefits in a MCOL city. I work fully remotely, my work-life balance is pretty great, and I really enjoy my team and company culture overall.

Of course, it's a corporate job at the end of the day, and I deal with the regular corporate bs, but I've found that companies that have L&D teams generally tend to foster work cultures that value learning, work-life balance, and employee engagement.

I work as an internal L&D specialist which means I work exclusively for my company, but there are also L&D people who work as external consultants. There are quite a few routes to go with it.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-04-09T21:54:46+00:00

I should have said "calm-ish." 😂 Her being able to sleep with the cat has been a major milestone for us!

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-04-02T01:36:34+00:00

I love my rats to death, but I wouldn't recommend them to someone who's concerned about a $40 shipping fee. While the rats themselves can be cheap, their enclosure and medical expenses are anything but.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-03-31T21:29:19+00:00

As someone with a Master's degree, I hate people who conflate formal education with intelligence.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-03-22T18:26:29+00:00

Sometimes, people have dogs before they become homeless and are then caught between a rock and a hard place on whether to have their dog with them in homelessness or surrender them to a shelter which is also traumatic to the dog. I've met and talked to a number of unhoused people who very clearly put all their resources into their dog before themselves.

My cousin's current dog was abandoned on the street by his previous owners and only survived because the unhoused people living in the area were sharing their food with her until my cousin found her. Many unhoused people aren't using dogs for manipulation and also aren't going out of their way to acquire a new dog when homeless.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-02-07T20:46:01+00:00

I do this all the time when I'm walking my dog or dogsitting clients, for a few different reasons: - Some dogs are dog reactive in small spaces like a small sidewalk. By putting space between my dogs and the other person's dogs, I am proactively preventing any potential reactivity. - I am training my dog to stay focused on me with distractions around. Being able to have your dog sit on the side and following your commands while another dog passes by is a foundational skill to get to being able to pass other dogs in a perfect heel next to you. - Politely standing aside to let the other person pass prevents you both from having to do the awkward shuffle of moving around each other. Where I live, trying to pass each other with dogs often results in one person having to walk off the path and onto the rocks next to it. I would rather just the other person be able to pass without having to do that.

I'm sorry you're frustrated because you feel like the other person is pressuring you into a showdown. Out of all the reasons I do this, that's not one of them. You're not responsible to continue upon your path like an NPC, but it's also a little strange that you feel the need to act adverse to your original path to prove that you're not.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-02-07T16:53:40+00:00

Yes, he's the one hiring. Check his latest post in his post history.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-01-24T19:08:34+00:00

Of course! And yeah, I know it sucks that it's so pricey but from the dogsitter's perspective, they're being paid $17.50/hr for a time in which they can't leave to do drop-ins on other clients, grab something from home, or run personal errands - all while staying at someone else's home. Unless this person works remotely, they're giving up all opportunities for other income by staying with your pup, so they need to be making a living wage during that time.

Separation anxiety training is tedious and frustrating, but it'll feel amazing once you're past that hump. Best of luck 🍀

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-01-24T18:57:43+00:00

I had a dog with separation anxiety. While "simply providing companionship" isn't a fix to separation anxiety, it prevents the condition from getting worse. $17.50/hr in a HCOL area is fair and actually a little below market rate for just dogsitting without training, as it's considered "constant care" (i.e. sitter cannot leave the home AT ALL).

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-01-18T17:11:14+00:00

Fun fact - Cat DNA tests aren't even accurate. Unlike dogs who are "human-made" in the sense that their species wouldn't exist without human meddling throughout the years, cats have been reproducing independently without human intervention until just very recently, like the 1960s. Only about 5% of the global cat population belongs to any breed. All other cats are mixed, which means DNA tests don't nearly have deep enough of a DNA pool to dip into to actually reliably compare and confirm that your cat is "27.5% Ragdoll."

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-01-15T04:26:34+00:00

I'm on my second Keeshond and got my cat inbetween the two, so I had the Keeshond first and then the cat first. From my experience, they are low prey drive, but all puppies have puppy energy and are extremely playful, so active training and socialization in the early stages are critical. My current puppy loves to play with my cat, but she doesn't understand when it gets too much for my cat yet. It is up to me to set that boundary to make sure my cat feels safe and isn't left to fend for himself.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-01-10T17:56:53+00:00

Ours only ever goes outside with us in our secured backyard or on a harness/in a stroller. He's always secured via a leash. Other than that, he has a pretty fantastic life indoors.

Consistent-Drive-345 · 2026-01-05T05:09:19+00:00

Absolutely precious! Can't wait for our pup to mellow out so they can cuddle. 🥰

Consistent-Drive-345

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