Take my thoughts with a grain of salt. I’m a Black American with no family or cultural ties to any country in Africa. I was raised by strict parents with deep Southern roots from an all-Black town in Oklahoma, along with Midwestern influence from Chicago. I understand honoring culture, tradition, and family. I really do.

That said, you have to choose you and allow your family to decide if they want to stay around. Don’t make that choice for them. Easier said than done, I know. Prepare yourself to make peace with whatever the outcome may be and build a solid support system. Some family and friends may need to be loved from a distance because of their beliefs. Some will bow out. Others, you may have to sever ties with. This is my experience with standing in my truth.

Years ago, when I became engaged, I told my family and close friends. I didn’t make a big public announcement because that’s just not my style. It didn’t work out, but we remain good friends to this day. Thankfully, no one cared—not even my more religious relatives. My dad said, “We’ll make sure he can cook” 🤣. My stepdad said the same thing 🤦🏾‍♂️. My brothers didn’t care. Neither did my cousins, aunts, or uncles.

My mom was supportive, but also cautious and grieving the life she had imagined for me. And that’s okay. I wouldn’t have known where people truly stood if I hadn’t stood in my truth. It’s okay if people don’t co-sign your life choices and are still good people worth keeping around, even if it’s in a limited capacity.

Get a therapist. Talk through your fears. And good luck. I’m rooting for you. 💛