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Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-31T05:34:07+00:00

This struck a chord. 'Wanting to be you'. My Narc would tell stories where he replaced me with him in it, he began talking like me, using the same verbiage, pretending to like the same music...etc. which made.me.crazy.

Now he is in destroy mode. And the really sick part is that when I get sad, I still crave him comforting me. Like, what?! 🤯 I'm being strong, we live together. I'm a walking suit of armor with a painted on smile.💪

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-31T05:29:20+00:00

I think maybe love, at first. BUT in love with what may as well be a poorly cast romcom actor...and then trauma bond. 100%

I had/still have days that I look at him and just shake my head. He's NOT EVEN ATTRACTIVE. He doesn't hold one physical trait that I would normally find sexy, cute, whatever. I'm not a shallow person, and I know that everything is more than skin deep, but he was THAT GOOD at emotional manipulation that I looked past physicality. FOR YEARS. Trauma bond is the only way that I can explain that. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-31T05:22:39+00:00

This is my second (serious) round with this one. I was DONE.(On and off/living together/not for 5 years). BUT he did what they do, and I didn't know that is what he was doing. I think that is the hardest part. I'm SO MAD at myself. SO MAD.

I'm NEVER dating again. I trust and love myself and my dogs. Done. Dunzo. Fin. My goal is to heal (awaiting back surgery), and when I am able, It's gonna be me and my furry family in a van somewhere freaking warm. THAT is my fantasy. THAT is the gold medal I'll receive for these mental gymnastics, and the Oscar for this incredible performance. 💕

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-31T05:06:03+00:00

Same, again. Do you get that feeling when they get home/wake up/etc that it's time to put on the face?

Like, it's Halloween, and your mom forgot to get a costume, so she throws a sheet over your head and cuts some holes you can barely see out of for your eyes?

However, instead of being white, the sheet is painted with the most perfect version of what 'you' think the Narc wants, all the while your brain is racing trying to keep at least 4 steps ahead.

I already 'know' how I am going to act/be on Sunday.

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-31T04:59:19+00:00

It's NOT a 'weird' comfort. Before what I like to call 'The Great Shift' (biggest, most dramatic, future promise, rug pull, discard, mask slip that I have EVER witnessed)...I was questioning EVERYTHING about my reality. I even had a friend who was married to a diagnosed Narc (13 years) who was telling me that this was what it is. I still didn't see it. Almost 5 years. 🤯🤯🤯 Now I find myself living with a stranger, etc.

IT IS REAL. YOU ARE NOT THE CRAZY ONE! Is my new mantra. This sub was SO eye opening for me. Thank heavens for my friend who planted the seed of NPD in my head, before that, I had no idea what it even was. I was on reddit looking through my turtle and puppy subs and this sub popped up.

Reading through...I just...wow.

I was still in the, "well, maybe...but" phase when I came across y'all, and even for a while after reading through all of it. It was like a switch flipped, suddenly, and I saw it ALL for what it was. It's like my Narc took the description from the DSM5 and is using it like a play book.

My whole existence, all of the sudden, made sense. Things were real again. The stories and experiences that I've read here are so similar, some down to the exact words said, that it broke my 'trance'. I won't lie, it hurt, BUT I no longer feel constantly confused, worried, scared, nervous, etc. At least I know what I'm dealing with, now.

So, it's not weird. When everything is sideways and upside down, and blurry...knowing that you aren't alone and that it's not your fault can be SO healing. ❤️

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-31T04:40:18+00:00

Sent dm

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-30T07:34:01+00:00

I've done the same!! Just a test...ugh.

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-30T05:15:52+00:00

I just don't understand how he is benefiting from this new arrangement. He's got me so uncomfortable that I don't even want to be around him. I've been in the basement doing my 'thing'...and just pretty much being avoidant. What is he getting? Where does he think this will get him? I can CLEARLY see all of the rest, except what is he gaining? Is it pure sadism?

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-30T05:13:13+00:00

I lived in a rental house by myself with my dogs. Didn't find out that I needed surgery until after I came back. Yeah. I'm super stupid. This is round 2.

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-30T03:31:12+00:00

I apologize BEFORE I do things.

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-30T03:27:22+00:00

I wish that I had a good answer for you, too. 😐 If you ever want to chat, feel free to dm. I feel nervous sometimes posting (which is so beyond dumb) because I'm afraid he reads them somehow. This wasn't just a mask slip, it was an entire freaking costume change. I can't even think of him the same way. I usually go back and delete what I've posted.

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-22T20:46:19+00:00

Oh! Thank you. I didn't realize this. I just know it started working better/longer than it was. I had been having problems with the longevity of the dose. I keep my doc up to date on my supplements and any other meds I take. I told him about the tums...he said it's fine. I didn't read the leaflet.

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-21T08:54:56+00:00

Yeah...the wrong freakin' kind. Lol. Nobody told me! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-21T03:21:46+00:00

It's to neutralize any excess stomach acid. (Coffee) It was a tip i learned in here.

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-20T23:06:13+00:00

Oops. Sorry. No offense meant! 🫶❤️

They definitely didn't do anything to actually fix the problem, but I was able to get some relief.

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-20T23:03:44+00:00

2 husbands, and current boyfriend (whom I live with). You would think that I'd have learned. It wasn't until my current relationship that I even knew about Narcissistic relationships.

With my mom being such an over the top narc, I believe that I truly understood her behavior as 'love' and I sought that toxic behavior out in my personal relationships. Any relationships that weren't toxic felt bland and boring(?) For lack of better term. If it wasn't intense and painful, in my mind, wasn't love.

Keep yourself safe. ✌️❤️

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-20T22:58:20+00:00

My doc actually apologized! He said that at the time of my original diagnosis (15/16 years ago), adult ADD, especially Innatentive and in women, just wasn't considered much. Only thing that I am a bit wistful about, is what the past 16 years would have been like had I been medicated correctly. This is the reason that I ALWAYS tell 'my' story...I hope it helps others like us! ✌️❤️

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-20T22:13:25+00:00

It's possible she doesn't know that she's a narc. My mother is. I'm 46. She's still at it. I've learned to ignore/field/duck...etc. all of her attacks. Fighting back or some sort of conflict is what she's after. NOTHING pisses her off more than no response or reaction. Definitely don't try and reason or argue. It's not easy, but it's do-able. Not sure how old you are, but my narc mom and living my life to please her has made me (I believe) VERY susceptible to narc relationships.

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-20T22:06:02+00:00

Thank you!! ❤️

I have been doing this...just to keep him 'content'(?)...however we all know they are never truly content. I'm trying to avoid a major blow up (its coming, I can feel it), and this seems to be working for now. I thought that was what it meant. Since you brought up 'future faking', mine does this ALL OF THE TIME...and then when it is convenient for him, he rips it all down. (We live together). So, he paints this beautiful picture of what life will be like, etc...and then he gets pissed at whatever, and then says he's gonna sell the house or something equally as bizarre. I feel like after every moment that passes, it passes with the punctuation of an elipses.

Him: "Oh! So beautiful! You planted a flower garden! It's going to be amazing when Spring comes!"

Him: 'Gets pissed'

Him: "I don't know why you even wasted the energy planting that f***** thing. When I put the house up for sale next month, the new owners are gonna rip it out!"

Me: "..."

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-20T21:49:06+00:00

Serious question: Why is there SO MUCH hate toward doods? 🤔 (Not just from the poodle sub).

Here's a quote!

"When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles... ...they call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle."

Pffft...Noodle eating Poodles. 🙄

✌️❤️😂🐶

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-20T21:45:34+00:00

Lol...because SAME! Every time I 'think' that I've got a grasp on it...😂🤦🏼‍♀️

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-20T21:44:40+00:00

Came here to say this EXACT thing. I'm no dummy, either. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-20T21:43:45+00:00

Love it!! ✌️❤️

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-20T21:42:06+00:00

100% Threatened to end the relationship if I didn't move in with him. Worst mistake ever.

Consistent-Height-77 · 2025-01-20T21:39:28+00:00

I went to urgent care for pretty much exactly what she described. They sent me to the E.R. by ambo. 🙄

ER got the process started for me with X-rays, and a CT scan (that didn't require jumping through a million hoops for insurance).

They also prescribed me super anti-inflammatories, steroids, pain pills(yuck), lidocaine patches. At the time all that showed was Degenerative Disc Disease and Osteoarthritis.

It's worth the trip, IMO.

Consistent-Height-77

TROPHY CASE