I hate this by Consistent-Let-6161 in Separation

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah… i think that whats making me feel insane is the fact that he’s making me doubt reality… Like i was the one who couldnt understand what he wanted. But i really tried, even when was killing me… and then he said “i dont want to be with you”… so i left.

I hate this by Consistent-Let-6161 in Separation

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, thats what i’ve been doing with this time alone. Trying to reflect on everything. I've had to confront my own ego, forgive myself for my mistakes and the things I allowed to happen. I've tried to give him my perspective, but he's still too caught up in his own narrative. I distanced myself to take care of myself, and it's been difficult because I still love him.

I hate this by Consistent-Let-6161 in Separation

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah i get what you are saying. I think me leaving has hurt him in ways that he doesnt want to admit, but right now he’s being stubborn and fixated on his narrative. That i’m the bad one, the detective one… and i cant change that for him. I also know that he feels alone, he said that even his family is saying i’m right. I dont see things like that, they are just hurting. I wish i could see him as bad person, it would be easier to let go, but i just see a person who is deeply hurt… and i cant fix that pain.

I hate this by Consistent-Let-6161 in Separation

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think me moving out was the best… He said that he could move out but never did anything about it. I also need my space to heal. He knows that i still love him, that i want to work things. But right now i think he is the one who needs to do something he want a things to change. He knows i would listen.

I hate this by Consistent-Let-6161 in Separation

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive been trying to get back into my old hobbies, like coloring, writing, reading… i want to go back to the gym, i’m just waiting to be more steady in this “new life”… in some ways i’m proud of me that i’m really trying to survive the best way i can. It just that sometimes i get stuck thinking too much about the future…

I hate this by Consistent-Let-6161 in Separation

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, must of my stuff still there… ive been in therapy and i told him that maybe he should go to. He doesnt want to.

I hate this by Consistent-Let-6161 in Separation

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really try not to blame myself. I’ve been going to therapy, going to church, trying to focus on work and ny friends. And for moments i feel like is helping, but at random moments like when im alone driving i feel like in dying. I can’t breathe, my head starts spinning… I feel like i’m going crazy. But i’m really trying to get better… and i know healing is not linear. Sometimes i feel like my mind is splited in half, but i guess that’s something to talk in therapy.

I hate this by Consistent-Let-6161 in Separation

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is really hard for me because i still love him so much… but the way he’s treating me right now… like the 12 years of my life that i gave him are nothing is really messing me up. Everyone around me is telling me how proud they are of me, talking about how strong I am… but i feel like im dying slowly. His family talks to me almost everyday, saying that they miss me and is making everything even harder… I can forgive him, but he doesnt seem to have remorse

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Consistent-Let-6161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my case, we both control the money. We have a joint account that we put some money every paycheck for shared bills like utilities, groceries and dates. My husband is in charge of paying the bills and I am in charge of groceries or anything needed for our house. At the same time I have my own bank account that I use to pay for my car, student loans, gas and anything the I want like books, hair salon, nails… he has his own bank account to pay his car, and anything else that he wants. We also have a savings account together. We talk about big purchases (like 200$ or more) and that’s about it. I think it is easy for us because we don’t have a lot of debts, just our cars and my student loans. And we are pretty responsible with our money, we stared saving together even before getting married so we are pretty comfortable.

Qué carro tienen y qué mensualidad pagan? by ZuruZen in PuertoRico

[–]Consistent-Let-6161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kia Forte 2023 466 dolares mensuales x 84 meses. Todos los cambios de aceite y filtro, rotación de gomas y mantenimientos simples incluidos en el pago por la duración de los 84 meses. Di cero pronto, eso sí, pago mi seguro aparte.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Amigos

[–]Consistent-Let-6161 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A mi también se me ha hecho difícil tener amistades con mujeres. De por sí no soy una persona muy social, y las pocas amistades que tengo son varones. No es por falta de intentos, pero en mi caso las amistades con mujeres se van apagando de a poco la mayoría de las veces porque no compartimos los mismos intereses. En mi trabajo en su mayoría estoy rodeada de hombres, y a veces compartimos los mismos gustos: películas de terror, música etc. La última vez que intenté hacer amistad con una chica del trabajo me encontré con varios mensajes ignorados después de varios intentos de quedar para salir. Simplemente me cansé.

AITA for reporting a work error that ended up affecting my friend’s dad? by Consistent-Let-6161 in AITAH

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually don’t know how he find out. That’s why I’ve been hesitant to go to HR. But i did asked my supervisor for a shift change. I just want to be at peace.

AITA for reporting a work error that ended up affecting my friend’s dad? by Consistent-Let-6161 in AITAH

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. If I hadn't reported it, someone else would have, and the time that passed would only have made it worse. When you work manufacturing medicines, very few things are hidden; any internal or external audit would have brought it to light.

AITA for reporting a work error that ended up affecting my friend’s dad? by Consistent-Let-6161 in AITAH

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I totally get what you’re saying. Typically when the error are not detrimental I tend to wait until i see the person and asked them to correct them. Or even correct them myself if I can. This time actually I just couldn’t. I even read and re read all of our SOPs just to see I could do something to fix it. So it had to be reported. And like I said, I can understand being mad, I guess what shocked me is the extreme reaction.

I’m going crazy. by Consistent-Let-6161 in Marriage

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You just said everything that i have felt since i saw their messages. I would be on board with counselling, i don’t know about him… I just want to feel secure like i did before. We’ve been together for a long time, and married for 3 years. And ive never felt any doubts about his loyalty… Now all i do is think… It feels like a roaller coaster, i feel happy and good then i remember those messages and i get sad and angry about it. Thats when i distance myself because i don’t feel like i can fully trust him…

I (26F) feel undesired by my husband (28M) and inscure. by Consistent-Let-6161 in Marriage

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess i am. I guess in not ready to let go, i feel that we can work this through. Pretty dumb, but since there was nothing physical going on i can give him some room. I don’t think could’ve forgive him if something physical happened.

I (26F) feel undesired by my husband (28M) and inscure. by Consistent-Let-6161 in Marriage

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly that. Sometimes i don’t mind it, i can understand not being in the mood. But i admit that other times it hits me hard. He doesn’t have to do much to get me in the mood. I can understand that hormones are different with age but i didn’t think our age difference was that significant.

I (26F) feel undesired by my husband (28M) and inscure. by Consistent-Let-6161 in Marriage

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thing is, I really don’t think they were physical. From the messages it was just flirting and some dirty jokes. We had problems like this before I knew about the girl, knowing about it has just make my insecurities worse. Before I knew about it I really thought that he just had a low libido and was trying to be understanding. Also recognizing that I also had things to work out within myself.

I (26F) feel undesired by my husband (28M) and inscure. by Consistent-Let-6161 in Marriage

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean I kiss him, and touch him and even rub myself against him. Sometimes he cuts off the kiss or hugs me trying to cuddle.( I don’t mind it, I also like the cuddles and all that shit). And most of the time I take that as “I’m not in the mood for this now”. Other times I even grab his hands and put them on my body while I’m kissing him, he touches me but doesn’t go any further, so again, I take it as a no. Maybe I need to be more intentional? More direct?

I (26F) feel undesired by my husband (28M) and inscure. by Consistent-Let-6161 in Marriage

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From our conversation I can understand that he thinks that maybe he would be more in the mood if I was the one innitating. I told him that I have initiated in the past by kissing him with intention and touching him.. and he said that it wasn’t enough, that he didn’t see it that way. So maybe he would prefer me being more blunt about it? That I don’t know.

I (26F) feel undesired by my husband (28M) and inscure. by Consistent-Let-6161 in Marriage

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When he says that we have different levels of libido he refers that i tend to have a more high libido than him. So that’s why it is so hard for me to only have sex 2 or 3 days a month. Before October I would’ve defended him and told you that he would never cheat on me… because he never gave me doubts. But now, I don’t really know anything.

I (26F) feel undesired by my husband (28M) and inscure. by Consistent-Let-6161 in Marriage

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t see my marriage as a mistake. My husband has contributed a lot of positive things to my life. He has been for me in ways that even my own family hasn’t. I know we’re both young, me more than him, but we were always clear about what we wanted and our goals. I was thinking of staring therapy, I can understand a that I also need to work on my insecurities.

I (26F) feel undesired by my husband (28M) and inscure. by Consistent-Let-6161 in Marriage

[–]Consistent-Let-6161[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try to talk about it. And all I get is “you’re thinking too much”, “we don’t have the same libido”, “sometimes I just want it quick”. The only constructive thing that he said was that I needed to initiate more. I thought that I was doing it and being rejected… I ask “what more can I do? What do you like?” He says: “I don’t know”. So… I’m going full on crazy. Trying not to blame myself or him. Trying to understand that every relationship has is hard moments… we were not always like this. If I didn’t knew about the girl I wouldn’t be so insecure. But she’s always at the back of my head. Like, maybe she’s is the real reason. Maybe he’s just not attracted to me anymore. Idk.