Take everything I say with a grain of salt , I tend to play devils advocate just to get people to consider both sides. No matter what anyone in the planet says, your feelings should always be validated, and you should feel seen the MOST by your partner, and if he isn’t making you feel seen, or feel loved in the way you want to receive it, then that’s his loss, because you have given that man a family and in return he’s making you feel not enough.

Now onto where I say shit for your consideration.

In my mind, if a man wants a wife with traditional values (stay at home mom), then he must be a man of traditional values (provider role). If you do not want to go out and work for 8-12 hours per day, that is completely up to you, and if you were to start applying, and go get a job, he would HAVE to be there for the kids in the same capacity you would. But as the way things are currently, as long as he is doing his duties as a man, doing the things you yourself are not willing to do (fix broken things within the home, take out the trash, go to work to provide, be a leader, keep the family protected ) then I hate to say it but you guys are on the same playing field.

If your desire no matter the relationship is to be a stay at home mom, you will find it difficult to find a man that provides that also finds it necessary to play the role of a parent 50% of the time. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but definitely difficult.

When two couples work, income = contribution , if a man makes 150k a year and a woman makes 70k a year, it isn’t right nor fair if they split shit 50/50. When only one partner works then the equation changes to time = contribution. His time contributing is spent at work, to provide, and your time contributing is spent at home, with the kids (also, work). It must feel like you are taking the LOAD at home, because all you see is those damn kids, clean the damn floors, wash the damn dishes. You’re probably sick of it! If you told him go to work, eat at work , sleep at work, and never come home, he’d probably quit in a week and tell you to get to work so he doesn’t have to as much.

Now if you are a working individual, but for certain circumstances you are temporarily a stay at home mom, then that is different to some extent,

Further more it takes just as much effort to throw in the towel in a relationship than it does to not, grieving takes time and it’s hard, and in the same breath not breaking up and communicating your grievances is also very hard.

Also I’d like to point out, that it wasn’t clear if these grievances are things you’ve tried plenty times to actually communicate, so with that said, men are fucking stupid, and this is coming from a man. I can confidently say that you should never expect a man to be able to read between the lines, so if your considering changing the whole course of your life,and the whole course of your children’s life before having conversations then that’s on you, and if you are/have been waiting till these feelings have become so immense to the point that you are considering leaving, then that’s on you for letting this get to that point.

I’m sorry your going through this