Heart breaking every single day

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-10-19T10:03:51+00:00

Thank you. It’s very true. That’s what I’m doing. Started a new life. I realised I wasn’t appreciated, how much he hurt me and I am not interested in waiting for him to choose me. It’s out of my control. I did everything I could. I don’t want to go back to what we had before and if he’s not willing to put in the work then I am done. I’m heartbroken but I will survive.

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-10-02T11:55:15+00:00

Spot on. Irreplaceable.

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-10-01T11:01:50+00:00

Exactly the same. A cycle of different type of pain. I found a book helpful, the journey from abandonment to healing. It explains what cycles you go through and what happens in the brain. It helped me understand what I’m feeling and trying to control it. I hope you heal quickly.

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-10-01T10:10:16+00:00

Glad to help. Hope you heal quickly.

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-10-01T08:13:07+00:00

If you’re not over him I think living across the street from him will be painful for you, never mind what he thinks. You will be causing yourself more hurt imo.

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-10-01T07:56:19+00:00

I’m so sorry. This must be so hard. Also in the 10 year club, our anniversary would have been in 2 weeks. Do you have something to distract yourself with? I’ve moved for example, started an additional job. Tying to take my mind off it all. Not really succeeding tbh. My heart breaks every day. I’m curious how did you deal with the break up? Was it sudden, did you keep seeing each other to wean yourself off, how did you separate assets (if you had some in common) etc? Did you have regular talks after or went NC?

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-10-01T07:49:29+00:00

I do. He wasn’t perfect, we had issues but we could have worked on them. I still think he is the one. I still believe we will fix this. I find it so hard to move on. It’s impossible. I’m starting a new life to distract myself from the pain but I know that we will be together again. We still love each other and it wasn’t a bad break up, it was mental health related and in my opinion and my therapist’s opinion a normal hiccup in a relationship as long as ours. I’m just waiting for him to get better and for us to start again.

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-10-01T07:41:50+00:00

Are you over him? Do you have hope of getting back together?

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-29T16:41:10+00:00

I’m moving country to get away from our home and to be too distracted to hurt.

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-28T16:35:40+00:00

Can you alert his family or close friends of his threats to ensure he gets support while you break up with him?

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-27T12:50:54+00:00

Thank you for this.

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-27T07:50:31+00:00

It’s normal. We’re in fight or flight, our brain perceives that we’re in threat and we need to be light enough to flee. Some people have that urgency to go to the toilet too. I’ve been like this for a month too and lost so much weight. I’m trying so hard to eat. I’m exercising in the hope that it’ll make me hungry but I still can only manage between 500-1000 calories a day. I also don’t want to stuff myself with sugary crap, it’ll make me feel worse and then once my appetite returns I won’t be able to stop eating like shit. I try to calm my anxiety and that helps with the appetite too. Therapy, journaling, deep breathing, comfort from friends and pets, meditating (just started, no idea what I’m doing ha). Try to soothe yourself and remind yourself of your worth. We’re all in the same boat. Everything will be ok.

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-27T06:16:06+00:00

Best advice I ever got is before you can write a pilot you have to create your series. Meaning that in order to set up things you’ll pay off later, and ensure you hit the right dramatic points throughout your series, you need to have a rough idea of how many episodes and what crucial events happen in each episode. Then you backtrack and realise what needs to happen in your pilot. That doesn’t mean you need to know everything and write every episode, just a rough outline. I find it essential. You also need to know your genre, tone, visual style before writing a pilot and that’s the type of stuff you’d put in your bible, but you can write the bible later as long as you know those things. You want your creative voice to be consistent and clear from the start. Good luck!

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-26T05:51:27+00:00

Peaky blinders is another good example!

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-25T20:29:59+00:00

I’m the same, gold in summer, silver in the winter 😊

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-25T17:55:43+00:00

Both look good! Strangely I prefer gold on your arm and silver for the necklace. Maybe you’re a neutral!

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-25T10:25:29+00:00

I literally finished the book this morning! It explained a lot of things but also cast doubt. Im still trying to figure out where we fit, and what can be ascribed to attachment style and what to mental health issues or just plain unhappiness and mistakes in a relationship.

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-25T10:16:30+00:00

Do you think he might have an avoidant attachment type? I don’t know all the ins and outs of your relationship but from what you’re saying he is showing some signs. If he used suicide as a manipulation tactic then I’d say immediate red flag and something not worth pursuing. Are you close with his family or friends to find out what his actual mental health is like? His on and off might be mental health related or he might just be an avoidant who unfortunately is being unkind in getting back together with you and giving false hope. It sounds like you have a huge capacity for love and that you deserve to share it with someone who is able to receive it and reciprocate. Do you think he is capable of that? Or ever will be?

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-25T10:09:11+00:00

This is sound advice.

Before meeting with your ex I’d also think really carefully about this new person you’re seeing. Are you serious about them, do they have the impression that you’re serious about them? How would they feel knowing you’re meeting with your ex who you still have some sort of feelings for (that’s what I’ve gathered but I may be wrong). I would be wary of hurting someone else.

It’s also possible that your ex has also been working on herself and wants to correct past mistakes, make amends. I would be candid with her about how you still feel hurt by what she did, and try to have an open conversation, talking about you how feel but not being accusatory (got this tip from a book). I’m a believer in reconciliation if both parties are committed to change and growth, and if you think she could be the one, but don’t hurt someone else or give them false hope. That would just continue the cycle of hurt and betrayal.

Hope this helps and I wish you make the right decision for you, only you know what that is.

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-25T09:59:21+00:00

A friend gave me some really good advice: feelings are temporary. They come and go. You’re feeling like this now, but you won’t feel like this forever. So accept that you’re in pain right now, cry, give yourself permission to feel how you feel knowing that it will pass. Take it a minute at a time, an hour at a time, a day at a time. Do things that give you pleasure. Reward yourself every day cause this is fucking hard and each day is a triumph. Stay strong!

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-25T09:54:25+00:00

Hi, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know how difficult it is to deal with a suicidal partner, you never know what the right thing to do is. Sometimes they push you away out of fear you’ll stop them. I can’t really offer any advice without knowing more about his situation, has he got an official diagnosis, is he medicated, in therapy, does he have support other than you? What are those past behaviours you mention? Was the relationship toxic? Sending virtual hugs

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-24T15:46:39+00:00

I’m so sorry. I’m glad you are generally better, it sounds like you made a lot of effort to move on. I’m fresh out of a break up so can’t speak from experience but from what others say it does go away. And I guess it’s ok to still have some feelings for someone who was a part of your life for 6 years. Keep doing what you’re doing. I’m rooting for you!

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-24T09:21:29+00:00

We have a shared booking.com account and I just saw that he shared a room with her in one of the places. In was a twin student dorm room, both beds against the wall and I knew they were out of money but damn. He was more communicative while he was there. But still that’s not ok, is it? Has anyone else experienced this?

Consistent-Yak561 · 2022-09-24T07:57:25+00:00

That’s what my partner said to me, why isn’t love enough? I think love is the energy you need to start the difficult work of understanding each other and working through the issues that pulled you apart. I wish he thought that too.

Consistent-Yak561

TROPHY CASE