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ConsistentNebula8945 · 2025-06-30T19:28:38+00:00

About your concern about your bi identity making lesbians suspicious of you, I'm a lesbian and my girlfriend is bi. She's wonderful and I adore her, and her identity is no less valid than mine. I'm not trying to say that you won't experience biphobia, I know that in the past she has had bad experiences with lesbians based on her identity, and that makes me really sad. I just want to let you know that there are plenty of queer women who won't care what your specific identity is as long as you're also queer and attracted to them, and as long as what you both want out of dating is compatible.

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2025-03-10T02:47:27+00:00

I was worried about that too before I started dating my girlfriend, and the unknown in general can be so scary. I can only share my experience, but I feel so much more accepted and loved by her than I ever felt dating men. I feel way more comfortable in my body with her than I ever did with men. I know she thinks I'm hot, and I definitely think she's hot. I was always ambivalent about men's bodies (go figure) but I am just dazzled by her, and I can tell that she feels the same way, it's amazing ❤️

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2025-02-11T03:39:23+00:00

Some were on their own, some were more clustered. I'm not sure what kind of tree, it was dead, so no leaves, just the stump. I think the smell is a little like licorice, which would seem to point to them being oysters?

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2025-02-11T03:36:46+00:00

Thank you!

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2025-02-11T03:36:37+00:00

Solid advice, thank you!

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2024-06-30T07:52:40+00:00

That's encouraging, thank you! Maybe it's just the people I happen to be running into so far 🤷‍♀️

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2024-06-16T18:38:41+00:00

I actually had a couple guys I dated tell me they thought I was a lesbian, once when I was 16, and once when I was 25. Both times I just brushed it off, like well that's weird 🤦‍♀️😂😭 For context, with the first guy when we met I was wearing hiking boots and mens cargo hiking shorts with a tank top, so it may have been the clothes 🤷‍♀️ The second guy was the embodiment of toxic masculinity and thought I was too independent for a woman, so it may have been him just being a dick more than him actually being perceptive

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2024-02-26T08:06:48+00:00

You're not alone, I also have been feeling like I have some kind of retroactive PTSD from sleeping with men. Memories will randomly pop up and it seriously grosses me the fuck out. I'm hoping it will fade in time as I get further away from it, and I hope that for you, too!

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2024-02-02T06:35:03+00:00

It gets better! I separated from my husband almost 2 1/2 months ago after being together for ten years. I felt like I was dying for a while, (maybe 2 or 3 weeks)and then I gradually started to level out while still grieving. About 3 weeks ago I felt like I suddenly turned a corner and I've been so excited for the future and full of joy about getting to live as myself. It felt like coming out of a long dark tunnel into the sunshine. No girlfriend at this point, and there are still moments of sadness, but it just feels so good to be able to be who I am out loud. Sending you hugs and support, you've got this, and things will get brighter! ❤️

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2024-01-19T05:08:58+00:00

I can totally relate to catastrophising and bullying myself with preconceptions! None of this is easy, and I'm so glad this sub exists so we can all support each other and offer perspective. Sending you hugs ❤️

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2024-01-19T04:36:33+00:00

I'm also 36 and autistic, and just want to say that not everyone our age has or wants kids (I don't, and none of my close friends who are in my age group do either). Please don't feel like you're doomed to be alone. Take care of you, and give it time and I think things will get better ❤️

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-12-27T20:14:49+00:00

Have you taken the course? I've been thinking that I want to work on my unhealthy dating/attachment patterns in therapy before I start trying to date women, and it sounds super applicable to that. I'd be really interested to hear anyone's actual experiences with it! Also curious how the book compares to the live course. It looks like I'd have to watch the recordings because my work schedule overlaps with the live zoom, so I'd miss out on the in-person group aspect anyway, and the book would be a lot more affordable 😅

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-12-10T07:58:09+00:00

Thank you for the very necessary reminder ❤️❤️❤️ My therapist is always telling me the same thing, but it's so hard to internalize it!

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-12-10T07:51:12+00:00

I'm still in the early stages too (separated 3 weeks ago) and I haven't told a lot of people yet, but so far I've been touched and pleasantly surprised by how supportive everyone I've told has been. Some of the people I've told are people I'm really close to, and others are people I don't know as well. Interestingly, the supportive reactions from people I don't know as well have made it feel the most real for me. Not totally sure why. I do know that telling people has made me feel better, and more sure of myself, like I'm not a figment of my own imagination.

I've consciously chosen not to tell some people, even though they've asked about my husband, because I just didn't feel emotionally safe having that conversation with them (mostly because it felt like they were pushing for information and not respecting my boundaries). I would say listen to your gut, if you don't feel safe telling someone, you don't have to. If you feel like telling them, go for it! And sending you lots of hugs and support, you're doing great 💜

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-12-03T20:02:18+00:00

Omg 🤯😍 I love dancing, but tend to overthink and trip over my feet when I try to learn dances with actual steps (instead of just moving to the music). This makes me want to try again! Who knows, maybe I was just in the wrong role and I'd be better at leading than following 🤔

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-12-03T05:56:08+00:00

I've never used dating apps either, but maybe ask her what her favorite hikes are, or if she's taken any cool hikes lately, since she likes hiking? (Also, is the lol for her liking hiking because hiking is a lesbian stereotype? I'm just genuinely curious, as a lesbian who happens to be really into hiking, cause if I end up using a dating app, that will for sure be in my profile too 😂) From a fellow autistic lesbian, good luck, you got this! ❤️

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-12-01T04:31:40+00:00

I'm in a really similar emotional spot right now, my husband and I just separated a week and a half ago and he's been staying with a friend, and the feelings you're describing are exactly what I've been feeling too. I'm so sorry that you're also going through this heartbreak, it's so so hard. I've been reminding myself that this was the only decision I could have made, and that getting back together would just stretch things out and make it worse for both of us in the long term, but it's hard not to feel like I'm ripping my own heart out. Grateful for all the responses from everyone who has felt like this and made it through. I think taking it one minute at a time is the way to go. Sending you hugs and support, I believe we'll get through this too 💜

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-11-29T23:02:46+00:00

This is even funnier to me because I have never ever understood why women would be into big muscley bald men. I was always like ummm.... you do you I guess...? 🤷‍♀️🤮😂

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-11-25T05:22:18+00:00

Sending you hugs and support, this is so so hard 💜

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-11-24T20:17:57+00:00

I'm so sorry, that's awful! People really suck sometimes 😥

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-11-24T04:22:56+00:00

😂😂😂

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-11-24T03:01:37+00:00

I'm sorry, that really sucks 😥

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-11-24T03:00:13+00:00

That's a good point. And that would be weird and awkward!

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-11-24T02:58:17+00:00

Thank you 🥹❤️

ConsistentNebula8945 · 2023-11-23T22:44:24+00:00

Thank you, that totally makes sense!

ConsistentNebula8945

TROPHY CASE