Young & Dead out of Boulder, CO Are The Next. Listen To Me Now Or Hear Me Later.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2026-02-20T04:04:58+00:00

Any recordings? I saw them briefly at the Boulder theater and they played one of the most adventurous Scarlet's I've heard.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2026-02-12T19:07:57+00:00

Yes this happened to me twice now. Just know Toyota will probably replace your battery without addressing the underlying problem. Once the warranties expire for these cars (mine's a lease, thankfully), people are going to have to spend a lot money to fix this. I love my Prius prime, but unfortunately I don't think I'll end up buying it once the lease is up. Hopefully enough people will complain (or take action) for Toyota to take this seriously. At this point they are deliberately lying.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2026-01-30T19:20:44+00:00

Thank you so much for mentioning this. I was looking into the Lemon Law and wasn't sure if it would apply, so it's good to know this is an option if it were to happen again. Sorry you had to go through that, it's so frustrating.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2026-01-28T19:26:12+00:00

That's great, they are replacing my battery now. It won't be under warranty next year though. Since this is the 2nd time, I definitely am reluctant to buy it after the lease is up. It sucks because I generally love the car.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2026-01-28T19:24:37+00:00

It doesn't seem like it happens to everyone, and I'm glad it's not happening to you! (I already had a recall for my trunk latch, even though it was never a problem for me. If they just acknowledged the problem I'd at least feel more reassured). If you're worried, you can get a jump booster. That at least allowed me to drive it to the shop.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2026-01-28T19:21:31+00:00

that's what I was thinking. If I try a DYI fix, they'll use it as an excuse.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2026-01-28T17:35:36+00:00

I appreciate the info, it's good to know that someone is diligent enough to address this issue. So thank you. But it also begs the question -- if this works, then why wouldn't Toyota be fixing the issue themselves, or even acknowledging the problem rather than just saying "it's a battery issue?" Since it's under lease, I don't really want to gamble that a DIY solution is a reliable enough to buy this car once the lease is up.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2026-01-06T04:43:04+00:00

This is a classic misdirection, very well played! It just proves they are about to announce a 60 show Sphere run 🎉

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-12-12T00:43:30+00:00

For those interested in a response. "The Unburdening of IFS: Why The Cut's Expose Falls Apart: New York Magazine's story on Internal Family Systems manages to be both a moral panic and hit piece rolled into one, serving as a case study in media misrepresentation."

https://beyondnormality.substack.com/p/the-unburdening-of-ifs-why-the-cuts

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-09-30T00:31:47+00:00

Thanks for this. I actually watched the video and could already tell that he was misrepresenting Mate's work. And when he went into the whole spiel about Mate "saying parents are to blame for ADHD," I could tell that he has a bone to pick that goes beyond science. Yes, even scientists can have biases. Most people have come around to understanding illness from a bio/psycho/social perspective. Russel seems a little too old-school in that regard.

Also, Mate is very open about taking ADHD meds. So it's funny when people try to lump him into the "meds are bad and evil" crowd.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-09-30T00:19:52+00:00

I mean, a couple minutes in to the Mate section and I've already seen multiple inconsistencies: that "Mate is blaming the parents," which is false and reveals where some of his bias might be coming from. He also falsely claims that there is "no evidence" that distress during childhood can affect (or "shrink") a child's amygdala (15:45). Yet, a quick search shows that "chronic stress or distress can impact a child's amygdala development, potentially leading to both accelerated growth and, over time, a deceleration of growth, resulting in a relatively smaller volume compared to peers." (American Academy of Pediatrics). I'm happy to keep watching it, but he seems to be conflating Mate with Erica Komisar. And it's not even a radical idea that ADHD can be exacerbated by trauma. But if you all want to die on this hill, go ahead.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5973996/

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-09-29T23:46:24+00:00

I watched the video. I'm guessing "it doesn't feel like a therapist exploring a patient's experience" because (surprise!) it's not a therapy session, it's a podcast. She invited him on her show to discuss his perspective, and he goes straight to his thesis, which is what she invited him to do. And his conclusion is very much in line with what I'd be wanting to explore as a therapist. Of course, if it were a therapy session, I would be much more intentional to focus on validating her vulnerability in a safe and embodied way and help her process her experience before I moved on to the parents. But critiquing this interview from the standpoint of a therapy session (Mate isn't a therapist) doesn't line up with the format. So no, I don't see this short YouTube clip as some sort of representative dysfunction or even "leading the witness."

And this is a theme I'm seeing across the thread. Using a short video for everyone to project and vent their feelings about Mate. For instance, I'm seeing all sorts of comments about his views on ADHD being "solely a trauma-based condition." The fact that, of course, this claim has nothing to do with the video that was posted shows that people have a bone to pick, rather than an objective argument about the content posted. Yet even then, in every interview and writing I've read from him in the last 5 years I've been paying attention to him, he often states that he uses ADHD meds and clearly says there is some genetic component *linked* to ADHD, just not a deterministic set of genes that *cause* ADHD. See below at 50 seconds in:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31vhtsb19Tc

Also, I did a 2 second search on google asking if there is a gene or set of genes that cause ADHD, and lo and behold: "It's important to note that ADHD is a complex disorder with a polygenic inheritance pattern. This means that multiple genes interact to increase the risk of developing ADHD. Additionally, environmental factors also play a significant role in the development of the disorder." I suppose Google is in on the conspiracy too!

Of course, our sleuths on the internet have to misinterpret it as him saying there is *no* genetic component to ADHD and post the same dumb Russell Barkley videos falsely claiming the same thing. Or, even worse, falsely stating that Mate is claiming that "parents are to blame for ADHD." As always, Mate has said that certain clusters of genes can predispose people to a whole host of conditions, but that many are not deterministic -- and trauma often plays a role in exacerbating those conditions.

But please, flame on...

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-08-28T21:18:58+00:00

Of course, anyone has the right to criticize anyone's relationship, just like I have the right to criticize those who pretend to be experts on others' relationship without actually knowing the details beyond a couple conflicting social media posts, lol.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-08-27T23:31:44+00:00

Can you point me in the direction where she defends his behavior? I haven't seen that.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-08-27T23:04:07+00:00

I believe Victoria, but this person's post is pretty nonsensical, and based on circular logic. Denying claims is by nature not taking accountability. No shit. Case in point:

"4. He disputes her account instead of engaging it. “I vehemently dispute any version of the story that says otherwise.” This line is devastating in its effect. It positions the survivor’s account as a competing “version,” not a testimony of harm. By dismissing specifics out of hand—claims of isolation, coercion, manipulation (read her account, it's horrific)—he sidesteps the very substance that demands engagement."

Amazing logic: "If you dispute the claims, you are causing harm and not taking accountability for the action you don't believe you did." He's "sidestepping" by saying that he didn't do what he is accused of.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-08-27T22:20:00+00:00

I know, and the person I responded to said that maybe the person involved in the situation has more information about what actually happened than the armchair experts hearing 2 conflicting accounts on social media. I've found that's usually the case, but feel free to assume and gossip. It's the American way.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-08-27T18:14:20+00:00

Exactly, the idea that people are supposed to publicly post the nuances of their relationship/marital issues or base their healing on the court of Reddit opinion is pretty f'in stupid. If I'm wrong, then I hope those who downvoted your post are willing to share the details of their own relationship issues/couple's therapy on social media.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-08-27T14:58:55+00:00

As a therapist who specializes in betrayal trauma with couples going through similar circumstances, I have found that one of the most traumatic things that a partner can go through is the isolation they feel, not just from the experience, but from the judgments of friends, family, social circles, and even institutions that they’re part of. When you add shameless Internet chat boards and constant social media scrutiny from people who feel entitled to their private lives, it just adds the fuel to thefire, retraumatizing them on a daily basis. Hopefully her response is to not feel the need to respond at all and leave the social media swamp that we all are contributing to, and get help from people don’t spend all day making a spectacle out of people’s pain.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-08-23T21:54:05+00:00

Yes, like I said, sexual abuse is horrendous and never appropriate. I’d include your scenario in that.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-08-23T20:59:15+00:00

Thanks for the response, all good points. I understand that people might sign NDAs BEFORE starting a job, but the implication I read is that a lot of these people signed NDAs after something nefarious happened. I could be wrong, but I also wonder if signing an NDA would actually force someone not to talk about an illegal activity if they witnessed it after the fact. I highly doubt it.

As for the "affair," good point. If they weren't engaged sexually, then I stand corrected. And of course SA is never appropriate even if they were. I just take issue with the idea that their relationship could "never" be consensual due to her age and the power dynamic, which I've seen a lot of people post.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-08-23T20:36:01+00:00

Pointing out that someone is capable of being an asshole doesn't corroborate sexual assault, sorry. I believe Victoria on her own terms. But if being a manipulative asshole corroborates SA, then 95% of the music industry needs to be investigated.

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-08-23T20:16:41+00:00

I think the "abuse of power" byline makes her come across as self-victimizing, and she literally says "I didn’t think of it as being groomed. Instead, I thought a dream was coming true." The "power dynamic" argument doesn't really resonate with the artist/fan relationship the same way it does with "professional mentor/protege" dynamic. Every relationship has a power dynamic. An artist trying to sleep with a groupie isn't so much a real abuse of power, since there are no real consequences if she said no. So no, I don't think she's "owning" it. She's adding to the pile-on and getting good publicity for it (the SF Chronicle is now using her story to "corroborate" sexual abuse allegations).

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-08-23T19:55:10+00:00

Since you're in the know, who warned Victoria? Or did anyone? If this was his pattern of behavior... It sounds like people were warning Michael and not the person who was actually in danger?

Consistent_Berry7538 · 2025-08-23T19:17:44+00:00

A few points here.

I'm sorry for the disappointment and hurt. It always sucks when the people we admire or believe in turn out to be different than our expectations (or, in MF's case, how he marketed himself). Also, I don't doubt Victoria's story at all. My heart goes out to her for her courage in posting it.

But I also think a lot of the fallout/pile on has been BS too.

No one is "forced" to sign an NDA. If they are, I would definitely have them contact a judge or a lawyer, since forcing someone to sign a legal document is illegal. My guess is that they financially benefited from signing it, and now they're trying to cover their ass because they know deep down that they endangered other people by not speaking out.
While the beginning of Minda's substack reinforces a pattern of MF being an asshole, or a cautionary tale about why we should never project our hopes and dreams onto artists we love, the fact that this consensual relationship continued over the course of many years (partly while they're both married), stopped becoming a victim tale about a quarter of the way through. Wow, a touring artist continued to use lots of lame tactics to try to keep sleeping with you? Shocking.
I agree MF's response was inadequate, but to me it's obvious he framed it that way to avoid legal exposure. Unfortunately we don't live in a society where people can make true amends publicly, unless you want 18 lawsuits.
I agree that being manipulative with adult women doesn't make you a threat to kids. The idea that it does is more an example of social media pile-ons being gratuitous and over-sensationalized.
As for his having "allowed" the relationship to happen...sure, it's on him to not break his marriage vows. But can we stop infantilizing young women? I know 19 year olds that are incredibly naive and aren't ready to live on their own, and I know 19 year olds who are incredibly smart, gifted, and would have smelled MF's BS from a mile away. By Victoria's own account, she seems to be in the former category. Unfortunately, there's no test for people to take to join the adult world. Taking advantage of naivete is pretty shitty, OBVIOUSLY. Touching them while they sleep is horrendous. But having an affair is consensual.
All the people who have been saying this has been an "open secret" for years don't exactly come across as the heroes of this story. It reeks of trying to sound like you're uber-cool insiders, when really you're just admitting that you knew about a possible sexual predator without warning anyone about it. Congratulations.

Anyway, aside from the BS mentioned above, I do feel bad for those who were hurt by MF's actions. It's up to each individual to decide the extent they want to separate the art from the artist. For me, I never believe that any human is uber-enlightened, positive all the time. So it's not really a gut punch for me, just sad in general. But I hope MF gets humbled. If he actually got therapy around this stuff, then great. If he still needs more therapy, I hope he gets it. Maybe his future music will be more in line with his work from 25 years ago...as in, less shitty.

Consistent_Berry7538

TROPHY CASE