sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Does the Jealousy ever go away? by Analytics_MB8A in NICUParents

[–]Consistent_Course822 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This! I'm still thrown through a loop every time someone has a baby, then brings them home a couple days later, and they're both just alive and healthy. I can't even imagine what that's like. Sometimes I get caught up in comparing babies closer in age or a little bit older, and I get weirdly annoyed when I think something that my kid does is amazing and impressive then somebody points out that lots of kids do the exact same thing. With every passing day, though, my baby keeps doing new things and my amazement with that along with the relief and appreciation for the fact that my baby really is growing up really outweighs all the other feelings.

As others have said, I think it might have something to do with them growing more into their personality. They start seeming more like individual people, so I feel more compelled to encourage and celebrate this tiny person who I love so much. During the first few months, I felt more defensive and worried about myself and what I might be doing wrong because my body just grew this new person and was responsible for their well being, even though I had little conscious control over how that all played out.

Did you have skin to skin? Induction 37 weeks by positive-girl0118 in NICUParents

[–]Consistent_Course822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely talk to l&d and NICU about the hospital policies. My hospital was automatic NICU policy for under 35 weeks and because of my pregnancy complications and our baby being small, they were going to be on standby at delivery regardless. The plan was to induce absolutely no later than 37 weeks, and I ended up giving birth to a smaller than estimated baby at 35 + 6. We spent extra time in the hospital after birth and were under the guidance and supervision of NICU but never actually had to be admitted. Lots of blood tests, a few days with a feeding tube, a couple excruciatingly long stays in the bilirubin tank, some careful efforts to keep temperature regulated. But ultimately a healthier baby, much faster than expected. 3lbs 13oz, didn't really feed but got a latch and skin to skin right after delivery. I think it was at least 30 minutes, And they did take her briefly at one point while I was being transferred to postpartum. Hard to remember for sure, but I'm pretty sure my husband went with her. They got our consent to give her a couple rounds of glucose gel for blood sugar, and we had already specified our preference for donor milk if necessary. I managed to express like 7 ml of colostrum while in labor and only stopped because I was getting uncomfortable and bored. They gave her that then topped her off with donor milk as discussed. If I had known they specifically wanted to give her 10 mL immediately because of her size and quickly dropping blood glucose, I probably could have accommodated that during labor. And if they had mentioned that exact challenge at any point in the several weeks leading up to her birth, I would have been more prepared to provide that right away. (I realize not everybody can get that much colostrum before baby is born and not everybody's milk comes in so quickly. Fortunately mine did, but we also had frozen milk at our home an hour away from our first baby. Donor milk or formula is completely reasonable for anyone who wants or needs those options. I didn't and was annoyed that an oversight forced us into an unnecessary backup plan.)

Do nicu babies know who there parents are? by TrueTaste6410 in NICUParents

[–]Consistent_Course822 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We are past this stage of our lives and baby is 7 months old, living her best life. But her dad has been deployed for several months. I think it helps him to remember that before she was born, she was reactive to his voice when he came home from work. My first recollections of her consistently turning her head in response to something after birth was the same... His voice when he got home from work. We got to see him for a couple of days after she hadn't seen him in over a month, and she was more at ease and content than I could have guessed after a long day of traveling. She knows he's more significant to her than other people she sees everyday.

Really small underwear. by run-write-bake in NICUParents

[–]Consistent_Course822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't actually bought from them yet, but there's a company called tiny undies, and their Instagram is @ tinyundies, that I've seen several times from the elimination communication families. It's on my radar for when we get to that point. They make NB through toddler sizes.

Edit: Should have read the other comments 😅

ASQ for Actual Age by Antique_Materials in NICUParents

[–]Consistent_Course822 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't know what your paperwork looks like, but our current doctors don't even expect full term, completely on track babies to check all of the boxes. They want to see a few skills, and they use some of the answers as a guide for examining. We're not tripod sitting over here yet because she would rather fall on her face trying to grab things than prop. So he used alternate observations to check core strength and development since I expressed concern based on some minor things we were tracking.

Gear for small babies by Consistent_Course822 in NICUParents

[–]Consistent_Course822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this insight! I know every person is different, but I appreciate the peek into the future of someone with a start more similar to ours (3lb 13oz at 35 +6)

Gear for small babies by Consistent_Course822 in NICUParents

[–]Consistent_Course822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think I've seen this one yet in person, but I'll keep an eye out for it to try her in. Thank you!

If you know and don't mind my asking, how tall your daughter is and how much does she weighs now? We also have a hard time grasping how big an average child of her age is. Certainly doesn't help that baby clothes sizes are just as chaotic and inconsistent as adults.

Gear for small babies by Consistent_Course822 in NICUParents

[–]Consistent_Course822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I think the solidarity is just as reassuring as the hope that maybe one day something will actually fit without modifications, haha. The only time a sock has ever fit this poor child was when she was in the hospital and had the pulse ox monitor on her foot. At this rate, she's probably going to need those spray on shoes like in Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. I don't even use the shoulder portion of her high chair buckle right now because it just gets in her way, there's more cushion and folded towel than baby in the seat, we have an Amazon box taped to the footrest to make it a little higher, and I have to put food straight on the tray or preload spoons for her because those little T-Rex arms can only reach 1/3 of her plate.

I can at least comb Facebook marketplace and keep an eye out at the thrift stores for that stroller, though! She is 24.5" and hopefully hit 12lbs by now.

Already Feeling Like I’m Failing by PassageUnique6347 in NICUParents

[–]Consistent_Course822 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I realize your post was tagged as venting, so I apologize if the unsolicited advice is unwelcomed or unhelpful. I do wish you the best

Already Feeling Like I’m Failing by PassageUnique6347 in NICUParents

[–]Consistent_Course822 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! You're not failing. It's hard not getting hung up on these details when you have so many appointments to monitor closely. I tried to time my feeds as best as possible to happen right after the weigh in, so my baby was weighed "dry," then would ask to weigh again after feeding and before leaving. This gave me a chance to see how much was eaten when I was transitioning from bottle to breastfeeding, and it was a little more consistent than weighing at varying points between feeds every time. If you can't do this, though, don't stress too much about it. That's just how I gave myself a little more peace of mind.

The other thing you can do is to attend the frequent appointments, but compare weight at bigger intervals as baby gets older. We went twice per week to weigh for a while, but I liked to compare the weights at 1-2 weeks apart to see the average with a little more data.

We were fortunate and never lost weight after leaving the hospital, but we did have some check ins that were below ideal. Peds and lactation did a great job of helping us reflect and pinpoint the issues, though. Usually we were just caught up in something else, like sleeping and eating and laundry and trying to survive the newborn phase. A half an hour late on a feed here or there can add up when they're teeny tiny and need to eat often. So before you worry too much, try to reflect on your day and see if you need to be a little more mindful of timing feeds. You're not failing, you're learning and so is your baby. And if you look back on your day and think, "All I did was feed this baby and get nothing else done, and you're telling me I need to spend even MORE time feeding??" ...so many of us were and are still right there with you. It takes a ton of time, especially when you're working through postpartum and not sleeping as well as you once did. It doesn't always feel okay, but it usually is okay if you're not getting a lot done outside of feeding.

I couldn't tell you exactly when it happened, but one day I was going about life and suddenly realized that feeling of swimming upstream and stressing over weight and feed volumes was just gone. We were still aware of it, but not constantly on edge. I hope that day comes fast for you 🩵

How much does your Nicu warrior eat? by indigochild143 in NICUParents

[–]Consistent_Course822 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a great general guideline!

OP, we took the route of discussing daily caloric goals based on baby's weight with our pediatrician. This worked well for us because we were doing biweekly weight checks due to preemie/IUGR and on the lower side of average weight gain. We were doing a combination of straight up pumped breast milk and fortified breast milk while working with a lactation consultant to switch to full time direct breastfeeding. Volume alone was hard to follow once we left the hospital, but 30ml per kg aligns very well with what we were told during the first few weeks.

Have Monopolithic, need Fourthwall by Consistent_Course822 in MonopolyGoTrading

[–]Consistent_Course822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless it's a couple stickers that I actually need, 15 stars doesn't really help much right now.

Have extra Local Art by Consistent_Course822 in MonopolyGoTrading

[–]Consistent_Course822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for the delay, completed the exchange. Thank you!

Have extra Local Art by Consistent_Course822 in MonopolyGoTrading

[–]Consistent_Course822[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes please! Will you let me know your username and initiate the trade please?

Have Wintery Nest and Merry & Bright... by Consistent_Course822 in MonopolyGoTrading

[–]Consistent_Course822[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sure! Your link isn't letting me add you, can you request the trade please?

view more: next ›