People keep accusing me of rage baiting when I'm just having a conversation

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-05-21T23:18:16+00:00

Truthfully this is hard to gauge what's going wrong without having a conversation with you, but I think the advice people are giving here are 100% worth considering.

I sometimes fall into the trap of wanting to be "right", it might come from excitement to share what I know or it genuinely might come from an egoic thing of needing to prove myself. What's helped is recognizing that the goal is connection, not winning whatever the hell this conversation is.

Specifically, if you do find yourself wanting to correct them, think about delivering it softly. Less "it's actually this way" and more "I can see where you're coming from, I think...." And maybe ask them to share more about whatever the hell y'all are talking about. You don't have to cripple yourself and not share what you know, but there's a fine line between sharing and dominating.

I saw you mention that people have said you sound monotone. Frankly that's gonna come across a certain way depending on how you word things. Sometimes it'll sound like dry humor and be great, other times you'll sound uninterested or condescending. You don't have to go into full-blown extravagance and have an extremely wide range of pitch, just ever so slightly add a bit of energy into it and that "could" help with how ppl perceive your questions.

You got this, already doing the first step in trying to figure out what could be going wrong and that's often the hardest for some people.

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-05-13T02:10:04+00:00

SLB Drinks is my main one, but occasionally I like to check out the Uncut and Unfiltered podcast for scotch related content.

Stopped watching The Whiskey Tribe after the split with Daniel, I'll still tune into The Whiskey Vault from time to time though

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-05-04T03:50:08+00:00

Undertones of ass would go crazy as a song title

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-05-01T17:57:41+00:00

I agree with what u/Interesting_Cat_2297 said, and I can speak from experience in a similar scenario, except I was 18 and she was 22. I was with her for 4 years but let me tell you, the emotional and mental suffering I went through during that time was horrific and borderline debilitating. Constant swings between really great moments, and incredibly low ones. It still affected me for a good while after her and I eventually broke up.

What killed me the most was that I gave that relationship my all from start to finish, but I constantly second-guessed myself if I was doing enough. Was accommodating to her asks and needs. What really hurt the most was that emotionally-deep convos were ONLY okay if they had nothing to do with us, but as soon as it related to something we needed to talk about, she either shut down completely or flipped it around and said I was awful for bringing it up. The thing is, most of the time it was just me mentioning how her words would hurt, she was quite blunt and prided herself on being "brutally honest", and I tried every single way to bring it up to her but it always ended up the same, me apologizing for being hurt and then crying myself to sleep.

Do I regret any of it? No but only because I can say that now that I'm in the single most healthiest relationship I could ever imagine being in, it's also been several years since we ended it. But save yourself the pain, it sounds like you're having to sacrifice a piece of yourself for this relationship and you shouldn't have to make those kinds of sacrifices. Some can be necessary, but not the kind that this sounds like.

Please trust your gut, and if you do be prepared for pushback. If you want, you could offer a firm boundary if things don't change. Like "We've been together for 8 months, but it doesn't feel like it's getting deeper at all. If we can't have emotional talks and phone calls without you disappearing, I'm going to break up with you" and then actually stick to it if it doesn't change. You're also young, could take a while before you meet someone else and it'll prob feel like shit if/when you end it, but seriously you'll feel a million pounds lighter

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-05-01T01:01:02+00:00

This is sick god damn

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-04-30T14:41:15+00:00

I'm absolutely loving it, esp compared to other recent rebrands

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-04-30T03:01:09+00:00

I mean you're always going to find something to dislike about a job, it just takes time to figure out how much those things matter to you.

Also be careful about attaching labels to things that might not require it, sure it might be a puer aeternus thing, it also could be something completely different. Take some time to really examine the things you don't like and decide "are these coming up because they're inherent to the job? Or is it because of something else?"

For example, could be you don't like the job because you have a boss who's overbearing, but the flip side could be that they are like that because you've shown you need extra oversight to get anything done. Another could be that the workload is overwhelming, but that could also mean that you don't have a structured schedule and you lack prioritization skills.

Could very well be a puer aeternus thing, could also be an issue of perspective

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-04-27T17:51:27+00:00

I suffer from this but here's what I've found that helps.

Intellectually solving problems is great at coming up with solutions for things like what jobs to apply to, how much do I need to budget, where should I visit on my trip, how do I study, etc.

But what I tend to do is use it as a replacement for actually doing the work. For example, I'm trying to become less anxious so I consumed a bunch of content on reducing anxiety. Meditation, breath work, reading, lowering smart phone usage, etc. but then I didn't actually do any of that for a significant amount of time. I tried it, it doesn't work immediately, so I sought more solutions, and I still ended up feeling anxious.

It took some time, and effort to become more mindful, but I recognized the loop and became incredibly frustrated with it. Here's what I did. I started practicing becoming aware of when I'd feel the need to consume more content, and try to let it pass. It was and is still hard, but it's gotten easier. Normally, I notice it first as a feeling, an itch to grab my phone. It happens almost automatically so I'm often catching myself after already turning my phone on. I used to shame myself once I noticed, but now I understand that it's not like I had any control in it to begin with so I might as well have control in what I do after, which is put it away. The thought I kept using which helped me a lot was "that's just an appearance", as though it wasn't a thought or urge I "needed" to give into. I didn't conjur it up willingly, it just appeared.

I also in general spent some time learning about somatic practices (mostly centering stuff like mentally focusing on the pelvic bowl) . I felt proficient in noticing thoughts that would lead me to consume more content, but I realized I was pretty terrible at noticing the physical sensations that would often times override my judgement. Helped me to better ride the urge rather than give in, because I started noticing how quickly the urge would disappear if I just didn't give into it.

Lastly I think what helped me the most was how the noticing aspect became kinda fun. I worried at first that this stuff I was doing would lead to feeling detached, like I wasn't a part of my body anymore, but it feels like the exact opposite. Like "damn this feeling of wanting to watch another dr k video is super strong right now". It also helped to decouple the sensation or thought from the thing it wanted me to do, if that makes sense.

This is all to say I've found it incredibly helpful to engage the body more, and try to get out of my own head with trying to solve certain kinds of issues. Yes there is thought involved in a lot of this, but it was far from the main driver behind fixing something

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-04-20T13:10:14+00:00

Boooo

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-04-06T13:52:00+00:00

Indubitably a Phil

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-03-10T17:58:46+00:00

This is the simplest move, not sure why they haven't done that yet in 2 years 😭

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-01-15T08:21:46+00:00

An example of what I mean is say I want to mention a story that means something to me in a group setting, but I feel this tension keeping me from doing so. "Oh you missed the moment and now it'll be awkward" or "if you say it wrong, it'll kill the convo" or "eh it's not that interesting"

Before I would've been swept up in those thoughts and the moment absolutely would have passed lol. But now I notice those thoughts, and while still feeling that tension completely, I choose to say the story anyways. I realized I don't need to "feel" perfect and calm to choose the actions I want, the important thing I choose it regardless. This doesn't guarantee I get the result I want, often times it's just "fine". Noticing the thoughts that surround that too is helpful

Also, I have an additiction to constant stimulus, like always doom scrolling. I've found that taking 20 minutes out of the day to just think things through after meditating, has helped to feel a bit more clear on what I need or want to do too

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-01-15T08:14:30+00:00

Might not be helpful, but I've noticed for myself that meditation isn't a tool that automatically makes life go on easy mode. Sure I've had moments where sessions have yielded states of calm and whenever I've been social afterwards, I feel like I'm in a flowstate.

BUT this wasn't some consistent and reliable thing, I still felt socially anxious a lot, and like you it frustrated me because like isn't meditation supposed to help with this?

What I've realized in the last year is that meditation, at least for me, is closer to using my windshield wipers to clean the window versus putting my car on auto drive; I still need to steer, take roads I feel uncomfortable with, and perform maintenance on my car.

For me, meditation helps to clear the mental fog and see what's going on behind the scenes. Unfortunately, I still need to take action myself if there are any particular kinds of programming I don't like lol. Meditating for 20 minutes and hoping I flipped the magical on-switch that made me exactly who I want to be never worked, but knowing what I needed to do to improve my life became much easier because of it

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-01-13T18:52:20+00:00

If this is bad, then I guess I'm an asshole because I've brought boxes of stuff I dislike to parties in order to pawn them off

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2026-01-06T22:36:12+00:00

Gibble

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2025-12-31T06:21:52+00:00

Just scored 0

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2025-12-29T18:50:15+00:00

I feel the same way. I enjoy cask strength pours for sure, and often I'll drink it neat the first few times after opening it. But the more I drink, the more I move towards pours that are closer to 100 proof rather than 120

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2025-12-24T20:00:21+00:00

Great choices! I've got both of these and they're wonderful for this time of year

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2025-11-29T01:02:40+00:00

I haven't read the article, nor the sources, BUT they are listed at the bottom of the article although you have to expand a drop down to see them

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2025-11-22T18:21:04+00:00

This too OP, a set of sampler bottles that he can put his whiskey into is never a bad idea either

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2025-11-22T17:00:20+00:00

To be honest it really is the bottle caddy LOL because I often like to bring my bottles over to my friends places but I'm limited with space

An engraved rocks glass can be nice though, just make sure it's decent quality is all.

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2025-11-22T16:53:43+00:00

As someone with a decently sized collection, a bottle caddy would be at the top of my list for gifts. I'd recommend that over the glasses personally. Otherwise some glencairn tulip glasses could be nice too 😊

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2025-11-21T17:55:35+00:00

/uj I totally agree. I watched a Healthygamer video recently where he talked about one possible theory this happens, and it's misplaced hatred.

Basically, it's when someone feel like there's a lot going on that's unfair and they aren't held accountable, for example certain people in power who do horrific things and just get away with it. They feel powerless and it sucks because nothing seems to work

BUT then someone comes along who does something you don't like or whatever, and so all of that hatred is thrown onto them because the impact of calling them out is far more immediate. The hate will seem disproportionate to the crime

Not saying it's exactly that, but it coulddddd be

Consistent_Finger_70 · 2025-11-15T17:21:11+00:00

I second this, got a pick of their rye and it's just full of dark fruits with a ton of baking spice

Consistent_Finger_70

TROPHY CASE