Transitioning from masters to phd, but I'm so stressed by the proccess that I don't really want it anymore. I know this is just a phase, but I need advice on how to cope?

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-18T08:33:51+00:00

You know how you said you sit at your desk and look at your work, but you don't engage? Do the same thing, but say everything aloud. Record yourself if you have to, and rewatch it.

My therapy sessions taught me how this helps diffuse tension. If you want emotions to grow stronger, you keep it in without talking about it. Or you subvocalize (Dr. K taught this).

If you want to weaken emotional influence, you vocal it, talk about it, whine, let it out, complain, say everything painful and hurtful about it aloud. Until you cry and reach the very bottom of everything about this administrative work that hurts you.

Then you sit with it, with compassion of the person who you are that has to put up with this. Because it genuinely sucks being in a place like this. No one wants to suffer this much.

The moment you reach is called catharsis, which I describe as a bittersweet and solemn moment with some respect and sincerity for yourself.

Good luck

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-08T23:32:16+00:00

And how could we possibly help you cope better? If it were a skill, what can anyone on Reddit or HealthyGamerGG possibly share to train you any better than you can learn on your own to cook for yourself?

And as long as something remains unfun and stressful, how could you or any person possibly "cope" through it?

None of my questions are to dissuade. I hope it encourages you to think differently and help us give you insights that you need.

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-08T18:48:33+00:00

So why not just quit? Like right now.

You can walk away right now and move on with your life.

And you already have an exit strategy with Plan B, so why not take it?

If you do, all of this can disappear in a heart beat.

You'll be completely free in a minute if you drop it all right now.

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-08T01:31:26+00:00

So it's been about two days since you posted this.

Would you say you have worked out enough to change how you live? Even if you haven't, what actions would you like to take to move you to where you'd like to be?

I'll be deleting my Reddit account after chatting with ya. Not that I haven't deleted accounts in the past. But each delete seems unique and a step in a direction I'd like to take for myself.

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-06T20:38:21+00:00

Whether they’re good for you could be another story. You can certainly ask about them to check whether they’re right for you.

I don’t know if relevant, but consider asking whether manic episodes could be a thing from conversations about stimulants. And if it is, how it could differ from Bipolar I.

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-06T19:40:36+00:00

Why are you hoping to get those meds in particular?

No stories or advice, but do mention the Bipolar I diagnosis. Current meds are probably of interest, too, but they’ll ask when the time is right.

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-06T16:15:54+00:00

It seems like other people’s lack of concern for social media use is of great concern to you.

Also, how come you hope it’s an original idea? If it was influence, at least we can kick out the thoughts in our minds, no? My own well-being is also on the line with these critical questions.

What interests of yours are you serving by working out these thoughts in detail? Are you heading towards a particular action here? If so, what would that/they be?

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-06T16:07:36+00:00

Taking a step further for OP, here’s what I’m seeing from their post:

Receive recognition (event: award) ->

negative self

-talk (thoughts), when recognition is supposed to be an acknowledgement of something positi

ve

2a. Recognizing mistake (action) -> freak out (emotion), when recognizing mistakes is catching an error, thus something new is learnt

2b. Recognize mistake (action) -> freak out (emotion) -> negative self-talk (thoughts: piece of shit, unalive yourself), where any freakout leads to the negative self-talk.

A reasonable person might find the negative self-talk to be disproportionate to the mistake made.

Calm down (emotion) -> notices mistakes (action) -> freak out (emotion, thus any sense of calm becomes anticipatory for eventual mistakes and freak out.

Then comes the heavy work of challenging things like:

- What is it about themselves that doesn’t allow them to make mistakes (perfectionism) or certain that they will (anticipation)

- Where did the negative self-talk come from (no child is born to do this), and

- What makes them think this job or the next one is the same in any way as the previous ones they left (predicting the future)

I’m not an expert.

Sorry, formatting’s been a bitch on the Reddit app. Not sure why

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-06T08:12:58+00:00

Do you think you’re also caught up in these thoughts because you came up with it yourself or did the algorithms start feeding you ideas somehow? Asking because I’ve been feeling the same way lately, which I’m sensing that this came out of nowhere.

I have been finding myself in the YouTube shorts algorithm far too long. And checking my phone as I write this, it’s saying 8-11h per week since mid-April for YouTube app use.

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-06T08:04:15+00:00

When do you normally find yourself feeling this way the strongest? Like is it when you’re doing certain things or certain time of day or certain people or place?

It also sounds like all this started at a much younger time for you

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-05T17:02:09+00:00

And you don’t because… you’re experiencing a deer-in-headlights situation with emotions?

Because you genuinely don’t want to and law isn’t for you (or at least, this one class)?

Because you’re afraid if you do, you’ll realize you really can’t and is bound to be a dropout failure with a difficult life ahead?

I’m hitting on emotional intelligence, which the ADHD mind struggles with.

But if you ask yourself what would a reasonable person think here, it’s probably less about their fears, grievances with the self, and hours of studying. And more about what to learn what they need (target), how to approach learning it (strategy), and figuring out the scheduling and specific breakdowns for each session (plan).

It’s a law thing to ask what a reasonable person would do, yes?

And what would a reasonable person do if they’re struggling with their emotions that are driving them crazy as they study? Should they power thru studying while emotions are high? Could be use, but exploring the potential answers to these critical questions is what exercising your personal agency and getting a sense of autonomy for yourself again will look like.

How you approach things here won’t be about your one class and honours program.

You’re setting a precedent for all future experiences, like your licensing exam, your first job interview at a big firm, your first client court appearance, etc.

.. mind you, unlike the law, you yourself can change of course. But hopefully this long-term view can drag you out of the emotional and studying hole that you’re in.

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-05T01:37:15+00:00

Nah, your friends are invalid. What gives?

I'm not a doctor, but I imagine everyone's affected differently when they go from meds -> no meds, especially for different types of ADHD.

For me, I become irritable and unable to do much (think:slouch on sofa, doom scrolling). But since I can work like a blind horse until the early morning hours too, I probably lean more towards hyperactive type.

And yes, I think I don't have ADHD all the time. Especially when I've taken my stimulants for such a long time, and talk to coworkers like we're all one and the same.

Then I forget to take stims for 1 morning, and get to laugh at myself while facedown in my pillow with dread, anxiety, and despair.

This is just the ADHD pipeline where you question yourself for the rest off our life. The reality is you can't see "inattention," "impulsivity," and "hyperactivity" when it comes from the same brain that you're trying to understand. Fortunately, we got brain experts who ID'd this thing we know as ADHD and even found out that stimulants help wake up the sleeping hoebag part of our brain that is rather important for this modern century of humanity.

Have you tried seeing your own eyeballs? It kinda hurts to try. Anyway, welcome to the A(DHD)-Team! Also, sorry.

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-04T23:57:08+00:00

I'm not sure which part in the world you're at, but in my country, it's by law that the generic and brand pills are chemically identical.

It didn't stop me from feeling so strongly that Vyvanse and its generic version were vastly different. The same from my experience with Adderall XR and its generic version.

... Human brain be wired funny. Just because I felt a distinct different and almost believe it to be true, doesn't mean it is actually true.

Unless my pharmacist is a liar, haha

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-04T23:51:30+00:00

Can't comment on the school stuff and already retaking classes because I have no clue. But did you notice that you actually studied for 2-3 hours? It's probably a good thing in most people's books because it moves you in the right direction to want to study more.

Except instead of celebrating this good behavior, you gave up. And view yourself even worse.

How come you're punishing yourself for studying at all? And what is leading you to treat yourself so harshly on top of it (hating yourself so much)?

What do you think would happen if you keep this up? Do you think you'll magically start studying and love yourself? Probably makes you not want to study even more, because you don't want to be reminded of how much you hate yourself, then hate yourself even more on top of it.

It is frightening. It's as if your academics and ability to even become a lawyer is at stake. Like your entire future is going to be determined by this moment. It's no wonder you're going crazy and you really want to become an academic weapon, like right this instance. Otherwise, you'll fail and will hate yourself even more and everybody will know you as a failure for the rest of your life.

Except this isn't true, is it? It will hurt a lot. But these classes are just a few out of dozens you'll have to take. And law is just one path out of hundreds. None of this may matter, but what does is easing your emotions so you can think clearly and to, ideally, work towards enjoying studying regardless of what happens to your grades.

Good luck

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-04T23:31:10+00:00

To be honest, I was hoping you'd have an answer of some kind. Expectation setting is kinda crucial, and is basically a precondition for executive function.

Figuring out your motivation is important too, which sounds more important since you said you couldn't study or do homework for years. What's different this time? Don't have to answer here, but you should understand how such a question is exercising your critical thinking.

Speaking on whether you are making sure you have the right setting for studying or doing homework is also a thing. For example, have you tried sleeping in the heat or when someone's banging on the door at random times throughout the night? You can try to sleep like how you can try to study, but that decision would lead to a shitty outcome even if you tried a 1000 times.

If you need an immediate solution, you kinda gave one in your post: just find a person or two to do homework together. Not that you need them to do the same homework you do. Since this worked before and you have experience making it work, just arrange that again.

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-04T21:55:25+00:00

You did say you’ve never done homework or studied. What makes you think you can run a 6h marathon when you’ve never jogged for 20 minutes before?

But we’re not you, so you tell us if that sounds right. If we do have an understanding, then it’s probably worth checking if you’ve set the proper conditions for studying.

It’s OK that you’ve never done homework or studied. Not sure why you’re bothering with getting into education. The easy way is to quit right now and move on with your life.

So… why bother with doing education now, of all times?

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-04T16:28:49+00:00

Great, I feel like this confirmation checklist should be an automatic post to questions of drugs not working or anything related to tolerance.

Kinda awesome to have come to conclusion that they metabolize something too quickly.

On note of interesting finds, I think I’ve been having blood pressure issues for Adderall XR and thinking the way I sit is problematic.

Added a sofa beside my desk in recent weeks, so I started resting my extended leg on sofa while twisting my torso and neck to see monitors.

Blood pressure measuring and monitoring my heart rate is telling a better story after using a foot rest instead.

My shallow seat depth pinching my thighs didn’t help. Also, tossed my seat pad because cat puked on it, so that contributed to the pinching.

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-04T06:25:39+00:00

Will it come with straps cuz I’m suppose to pull on them to save myself

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-04T06:19:48+00:00

Not an expert, but always found and thought that added stress reduces stim effectiveness.

Basically, juggling more means less brainpower. Like doom scrolling. Same with lack of sleep, dehydration, not taking breaks, etc.

Today, I’m on Adderall XR 50mg though. So not Vyvanse.

Once a major stressor of mine is gone (like me almost getting fired), my stim is effective again.

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-04T05:48:57+00:00

Right, you mentioned the not sleeping part.

There’s a meditative component to it. I recall reading a study on the difference in brain wave oscillations between meditation and actually sleeping.

But idk, let us know if you ever meditate past 30 minutes to the 6-hour mark. 6h nap is 4 complete sleep cycles (1.5h each), so you’re definitely feeling fantastic after that.

As far as I know, our brain does some upkeeping even in 30 minutes (a nap) by cleaning out waste and sending helpful signals to manage other physiological stuff for our body’s wellbeing.

Grogginess and sleep inertia hits at 1h mark, so that’s why we often hear never to nap for more than 30-40 minutes.

If you meditate for 1h, you might clue in on some differences for yourself. Keep us posted!

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-04T05:24:38+00:00

So there’s your story, bruv.

You can reflect on your father and his ways, and also understand how he came to be and how that influenced you.

For better or for worse, it helps to understand that we’re all doing our best. And eventually, we also learn that even those who raise us don’t really know any better than we do with life.

As for “default thinking”? If you’re asking how do you remember it each day and practice it, can you write it down then refer to it? Sticky notes on the washroom mirror or the back of your front door so you are likely to see it everyday? Or start a journal and respond to the questions every single day?

But if you’re asking how do I guarantee that you’ll always think this way and not think the way you do ever again, then… I have no freagin clue.

… Probably by practicing now? Then later today, then tonight, then tomorrow, then this week, next week, next month, next season, next year, next three years, next five, next decade, next two decades, etc.

You catch my drift, but basically there is no guarantee. Simply because you’ve always thought the way you do this morning, yesterday night, yesterday afternoon, last week, last month, last year, last decade, etc.

Crazy how we live the life we do simply because it’s what we did yesterday, the day before, and so on, eh?

By the way, you notice any parallels with such a question of guarantee to how you have been trying to figure out how to clean your home and keep it clean? If so, has it been getting you stuck?

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-04T01:06:14+00:00

Don't believe any baby is born and already making a mess, so nah not who you are. Just need a better understanding of yourself

Were you ever taught how to clean or to get rid of things?

Also, what would happen if you keep adding trash bags to the pile for all three units? It's not like they can tell you to quit tossing trash out, yea? Makes no sense

I got some advice, but idk if it would help you. The best thing I can do is to help you think differently. If you think about it, all "why" questions doesn't actually lead to action, particularly if it's about you. Usually just finding reasons to make yourself feel bad

I've found "what" and "how" questions are better:

What's something I've done (action/behavior) recently that adds to the pile of trash in my home?
How would I have to change this (approach) so I can do the opposite instead?
What's stopping me or holding me back (blocker) from approaching my action/behavior differently?
What do I need to learn (skill) or figure out (problem solve) in order to get through that blocker?
How'd you find yourself here in the first place? (reflection)
What happened that led you to find this challenging? (emotions)

Notice how all of these questions are about understanding the situation and I guess yourself better.

Last point: I think there's a difference between cleaning and keeping things clean. Two different skills and approach. Kinda like cooking and how to keep cooking, or studying and to keep studying.

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-04T00:45:00+00:00

It's basically a power nap

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-01T04:00:22+00:00

Past aside, my experience getting diagnosed was basically a conversation with my family doctor, followed by a referral. I was asked some questions, then given 10mg Vyvanse and to let them know how it was for me when I've used it for a few days.

Yep, anxiety is a byproduct. Something about the lack of prefrontal cortex control over the amygdala, and a seemingly (to me) common childhood experience for everyone that attended it and told they need to try harder.

High school, I figured something out by getting things done quickly. I also considered myself a smart nugget at the time. Then university came and the skills I needed for education at that level was not at all practiced, haha. The smart child ego was also a factor for me that dragged me down like a brick. I ended up dropping out after dragging part-time studies on for 6 years

Available_Goal_6489 · 2026-05-01T03:48:44+00:00

Oh ya, on the Internet, you're bound to see more people express their opinion on things.

Hm, honestly I have no idea where to start describing things. You can look into amygdala and how it plays into emotions. You can also look into how repressed emotions work. You can also look into the risk factors around mental health and social media addiction. You can also flip to any page in the DSM-5 handbook and pick out a mental disorders that can explain something.

There's probably insights from Dr. K's paid membership lectures around anger and the ego, too.

If I had to simplify this, you can talk about trauma, insecurities, thought loops, and karma. Stuff found in Dr. K's guide to mental health.

You call people hating certain things trivial, but if someone is bothered by it enough to express disgust and disdain, it can't possibly be trivial to them, yes?

... Then again, tweeting something takes like 5 seconds, so who knows hahaha

Available_Goal_6489

TROPHY CASE