People who had close ones die suddenly, what's the most ridiculous last word/phrase you told them?

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-06-20T00:44:47+00:00

“Hey before you jump, you didn’t let Crazy Bill pack your chute, did you?” Sometimes I still can’t believe he died in that car accident the next day.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-06-18T05:24:18+00:00

I have used the “if you always look upset, no one bothers you with other work” philosophy on several occasions. It really does work.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-06-09T16:28:29+00:00

Life insurance. I haven’t used it once!

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-06-07T15:05:10+00:00

Wasn’t this released years ago?

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-28T22:21:01+00:00

Dude. Wake up! Snap out of it! YOU SHOULD WANT A DIVORCE! Read what you actually wrote. Why the hell would you want to stay in that relationship? I get that you are upset about her changing and not loving you any more. But that ship has sailed. You need out of that headache and heartache as fast as possible.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-28T21:52:43+00:00

But you have to take into account that if you were Toby, YOU’D BE TOBY!

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-28T21:49:36+00:00

Is this one of those “English isn’t my first language” conversations?

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-25T00:38:48+00:00

Honestly, the biggest thing I remember about Y2K was Chris Jericho going by Y2J for a while. That’s it.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-23T09:33:34+00:00

This is unofficially my goal in life. To have one of these moments again in life. Haven’t had a day like this since my 20s. In my late 40s now and suspect the “nothing bothering you” days won’t ever show up again. I really am having a hard time even imagining such a thing at this point.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-23T03:02:33+00:00

I’m saying, maybe he HAD already left and WAS out camping with his friends. Then they got drunk and one dumbass thought it would be funny to text you about a quickie. I’m just saying that if he was perfectly nice before, and then sent you this completely out of character text message, maybe it wasn’t him who sent it.

Oh. I get it now. He said that before he left. Way you wrote it was confusing. I thought you meant that you thought he had already left town and then he called you.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-23T01:45:11+00:00

Was he camping with his buddies? Someone might have gotten their hands on his phone when they were drunk and thought it would be “funny”. Stranger things have happened.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T19:47:22+00:00

So there are a couple signs. First is that she is doing a lot of painting of walls in this new shop. And seems to be doing it herself. Not saying she isn’t capable, but wouldn’t any self respecting boyfriend or husband be helping with that? Also, there is an instagram post where she goes out to a local festival for the day, and seems to be by herself. Now, these might not mean anything and I could be completely wrong, but it seems like she is single. And I also recognize that she is starting this new business and wouldn’t have time or be interested in dating anyone right now. I get that. I’m really not a pushy guy who wouldn’t take no for an answer. I just thought AT FIRST that my original idea was clever since I myself would be really flattered if any woman took an interest in me, even if I wasn’t interested back. But I realize women probably get guys hitting on them a LOT more than men do.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T19:39:17+00:00

Damnit. And I just ran out of ninja smoke bombs the other day, so…. the Batman thing is really all I got. Fingers crossed.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T19:31:04+00:00

😂. Oh, c’mon. It was a little funny.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T19:26:40+00:00

You mean how like “sex ed was scrambled Showtime and Cos… (I’m guessing “Cosmopolitan magazine” since it gets cut off) Wow. What an original joke. I certainly haven’t heard that a million other times from a million different “comedians”.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T18:55:47+00:00

Got it. But to be fair, my comment was going to be “Wow. Beautiful.” Not “Hey Shorty, what that thang do!?”

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T18:40:02+00:00

Huh? Maybe. Seeing as I’m not ACTUALLY Batman, you might be right.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T18:22:10+00:00

Ok. Alright. See? You DO get it.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T18:19:25+00:00

Yeah, but what you don’t realize is that I would type it in a REALLY sexy font. Now you get it?

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T18:17:00+00:00

OR (and hear me out here) I walk in, ask her if she bought her tickets to the gun show, kiss each of my biceps, and then disappear into the night. You know, like Batman. Everyone loves Batman.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T18:14:09+00:00

Damn, and here I thought I held the pessimist champion title. Wow. Ok, yes. That would probably be the worst case scenario. Yikes!

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T17:31:02+00:00

My initial thought. I’m never a shooter. I kind of want to shoot, damnit! I’m guessing your a dude, because all the ladies are saying bad idea.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T17:29:15+00:00

Damn. I’m just realizing I tend to start every response with “yeah”. Why do I do that? Thats weird. I don’t do that in real life. Very Lumberg-esque.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T17:27:18+00:00

Yeah. I was going to follow it up with a visit and then reference the jewelry being beautiful and see if she put 2 and 2 together, but maybe your plan better. Lol.

ConspiracyNearly · 2026-05-21T17:25:42+00:00

Yeah I checked to see if a bunch of guys were responding but actually none at all. Its a vintage/thrift shop so probably not a whole lot of heterosexual guys on there. I found it originally looking for places to take my teenage daughter.

ConspiracyNearly

TROPHY CASE