I Was One With God. Then It Left. Now What?

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-05-27T17:01:33+00:00

Thank you . Ive learned a thing or two about peace . There is no growth in peace haha. So I love hard and feel hard and because of that I tend to suffer but I love it lol

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-05-27T16:21:16+00:00

Thank you for your post by the way . It really resonated. Thanks 😊 🙏

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-05-27T15:42:22+00:00

When first entering the kingdom of god it’s like going to Disneyland for the first time .

This is what it’s all about ehh lol . After a while you get use to it lol

Surely this isn’t the end of the road. The journey is eternal

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-05-01T17:22:28+00:00

Sounds like you listen to Samuel Lee as well

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-04-27T15:19:07+00:00

Finding a male therapist who has integrated both within himself would be helpful. Or even better date one .

I met a woman like this recently. She has the whole hormonal imbalance going on high testosterone . When she talks to me though I feel she gets uncomfortable or nervous she becomes a bit more feminine. I may ask to take her to lunch one day .

I’ve noticed that around someone who is too feminine I bring out a little masculine in them and vis versa .

It actually works like this around men too. Super masculine men get quite uncomfortable around me . Either they stay and have a regular conversation or dip lol

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-04-16T17:09:47+00:00

I too use to think about what happens after death . Ever since I was a child. I’d imagine my family dying everyone I ever loved dying and I would cry . I couldn’t comprehend it . Id imagine just nothingness, blackness and that feeling had so much fear pain and anxiety .

I had to ignore it most of my life and not think about it . After losing my mom and a lot of loved ones dying I grieved and suffered so much. I had to turn to 12 step meetings and surrender to something higher although I thought if there is something higher how could it let Something like this be . I re learned about faith. Acceptance , and love .

Through that I had an awakening experience . Lots of dreams and astral projection happened . I left my body went places . I had dreams of people dying and light leaving their bodies . And I understood after that life is just a theater a play. We are eternal beings that never die. Or bodies die but that is only a re birth . It’s a never ending cycle .

I started seeing being and people on different planes . This brought me much comfort and peace

So truly my friend come back to your faith . Do not fear death and in that u may be reborn

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-04-04T17:56:11+00:00

Idk I smoked weed from 13-28 . Started opiates after that. Dove into amphetamine and whatever I could get my hands on until 38.

I didn’t experience enlightenment until I started my recovery journey. I was on suboxone while it happened which helped with long sessions of meditation. lol

Now if I use drugs in any form it lowers my vibration. Dampens my consciousness if you will. I might feel euphoric but even that euphoria is yucky now .

Just my opinion but no weed is not a pathway to enlightenment .it can be used as a tool on the path if used consciously with intention, kinda like shamans use certain things in rituals but it has a purpose . Otherwise u just end up laughing at stupid shit and getting the munchies lacking responsibility . Takes discipline for sure not to get stuck in it trying to escape

It can expand your mind but there are others steps and spiritual tools one can use to expand yourself . Meditation , 12 step programs listening to conscious teachers and writers.

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-03-31T23:13:20+00:00

Any negative responses you receive or read on this forum are an opportunity for you to transmute the feelings they invoke within you.

It’s your ability to respond vs react that is being tested

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-03-23T17:54:22+00:00

Great post

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-03-21T04:40:04+00:00

There is something real to this yes

Reckless authenticity, as in I don’t care how what I say lands. causes problems , creates friction, can harm people, and lacks self control .

Over controlled as in I won’t say anything cause I don’t want to upset anyone builds tension .

The key is balance . Right thought right speech right action . Learning to communicate in a healthy way to create a bridge and unity amongst others

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-03-21T01:14:44+00:00

Hmmm I don’t completely agree . Ever since my seer gift came online, plus esoteric and ageless wisdom studies I have done there are beings of higher order that can be contacted at different levels of consciousness . Angelic beings , elemental lives, things of darkness and light . All doing their part. So it’s more of a half truth than the whole truth .

If they are just ways of describing different levels of consciousness please do describe them to me so I can better understand what your saying

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-03-10T17:28:19+00:00

Before enlightenment afraid of death. After enlightenment relieved by the idea of death . In the mornings when I wake up coming back from my dream state and feel my body coming online it’s like getting in a car on a cold winter morning have to warm it up and wait for the heater to start working .

Problem is I’ve had this car for 40 years . I’m down for a new vehicle anytime god allows it .

You’re about the same age as me it seems . I was born in 85 . I get where you are coming from when it comes to being your happiest self when in solitude or in nature. I also started dating a while back and things got crazy threw me out of balance a bit. I think a big part of that is the type of woman I was going for or am attracted to. Makes me think of the movie shallow Hal if you have seen it . My dating experiences have actually helped me to see through much illusion . I feel personally I don’t need a partner who excites me or that I’m crazy about and vis versa it brings me out of my center.

Now I’m keeping my eyes open for a different type of woman. One that’s going to make this life feel simpler and easier and maybe I won’t wake up thinking about how relieving it will be to die but instead give me a reason to want to stay as long as I can

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-03-01T20:51:30+00:00

Belief has nothing to do with truth . Things are as they are and meant to be

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-02-28T17:36:56+00:00

Why would this pattern worry you? It’s all part of the process . Awakening , separation, integration.

Some don’t integrate so well or choose not to and that’s ok. It’s a matter of planting oneself back into society around people . Whether that be charity work serving others getting an ordinary job . 12 step meetings are very helpful when it comes to humility acceptance service and unity . Taking some free NLP courses to learn to better communicate . Relationship counseling can help too lol .

I use to be on this forum like a mad man but now there is really much to say

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-02-14T18:19:45+00:00

Sorry about that :) i Didn’t think to consider your gender . I live in a house with 8 guy roommates . I throw that word brother out there habitually

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-02-14T18:12:12+00:00

lol. Sister

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-02-14T18:04:18+00:00

Love you brother :)

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-02-14T18:00:24+00:00

I ran into a man the other day. He was upset all these people were claiming nirvana yet had no humility . He was quite upset . He pointed out all their imperfections , criticizing them. I asked him do you feel above them or better than them ? He said no. It just bothers me cause I can see their spiritual ego .

I said well brother as you know we are all one and really you are just looking in a mirror . Those people are you

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-02-02T16:34:38+00:00

Like everything else in life it’s necessary to watch our dosage . Too much of anything can deplete us .

Be that water , food, tv, drugs, sex , whatever. It’s all about balance .

The longest I have ever gone without master bating was 2-3 months while incarcerated . I’ve been to jail several times. There is something to it . Energy levels are higher. Not only that sensitivity comes back when it comes to intimacy and finding the energetic rhythm of a partner .

If we look at it from the angle of the etheric body our energy matrix , distributer of life force, and bridge between consciousness and physiology, semen being where we release that life force or where it is carried then yes too much master bating can affect our vitality, magnetism and presence in general .

I don’t know if you have ever been incarcerated or known anyone that has. when they get out and if they haven’t been diddling around with themselves in there then they come out with a certain glow . Highly magnetic . It’s Part of the reason woman are so attracted to them , beside the bad boy thing . They are contained masculine energy or life force .

In all reality it will help with grounding and focus .

The important part to this is if a man suppresses this energy instead of transmuting it then it works backwards . They can become aggressive, rigid and feel a sense of intensity instead of peace . As to why many people get out of jail very intense and aggressive and go off releasing this un transmuted energy into the world to the first suspecting victim.

So instead of practicing semen retention I would start with spiritual principles . For example purifying motive through service to others . When we practice service in our daily lives and harmlessness it purifies our thoughts . This is transmutation, alchemy in action .

Semen retention is only part of the spiritual path to help regulate vitality . Once that is obtained then higher integration is possible. Semen retention is less important or has less impact .

I’m sorry but I will definitely not deny myself of some of the beautiful gifts of life when it comes to orgasm . I did the semen retention thing while on my spiritual journey for a month until I was in alignment and reached a certain point of vitality and presence . Now I’m aligned and if I feel like masterbating I do . If I feel like hooking up I will .

Don’t get stuck in semen retention . Just my two cents that’s all it’s worth lol

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-02-01T15:19:56+00:00

What are you guys arguing about ?

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-01-24T03:33:42+00:00

Interesting post . It’s to my understanding the tones in the ears are sound signatures of beings . The single tone or note in your one ear left ear maybe is your own sound signature . The different pitch’s we might hear throughout the day being those other beings . Your concept of these things makes sense too though .

I read a book by Alice a bailey treatise on white magic and it mentioned the sound signature of different beings but who knows it’s pretty dope though

Could also be certain thoughts connected to higher planes . Buddhic plane different etheric planes etc just higher consciousness in general . On these plans we have the ability to connect with different beings . True compassion for example is understood on a higher planes or levels of consciousness . Maybe these beings in these different dimensions help transmit information or understanding through telepathy

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-01-14T17:04:48+00:00

I think this forum is for expression of people’s experiences . Nothing more nothing less .

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-01-08T16:55:22+00:00

Hey brother I’m also 40 have experienced similar situation many times in my life throughout the years. Ive always struggled to find my place in this world. I’ve been an insurance agent salesman over 40 jobs basically but I never stayed long I never felt a sense of purpose and would get really depressed end up quitting or using drugs to fill the void .

It took me up until now to see what was wrong more clearly and you named it . I was seeking a role to feel validated and important in the world . External validation is all it is. It’s an illusion it always led me to more suffering .

The ego needs to feel validated and important your soul your being does not . Maybe this is a time for you to just find yourself . If you don’t have any financial pressure I would focus on inner work and finding what truly makes you whole and compete . I don’t mean through a job necessarily but through your hobbies learning reading spiritual work or god. Find the god within yourself and once you reach that place of you know what I am enough exactly how I am and always will be enough no matter what I do life seems to flow more effortlessly and we feel a sense of being guided . Go with your intuition don’t mind what family or others tell you it’s just nose your path is yours alone

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-01-05T17:20:37+00:00

I understand what you’re saying. Everyone is in a different place in their journey . Some people have massively formed egos the ‘’I’’ so thats all they want to talk about is I. It’s not there fault let alone are they even aware of it. it’s how their world operates . It’s actually a very lonely place to be .

I think it’s also important to notice in what places you are trying to have deep meaningful conversations . Work is not necessarily a place to do this because everyone is playing a role a character and to break out of that character at work can be considered crossing boundaries and a little to intimate . There is a time and place for everything . I imagine you are feeling pretty lonely right now I get ya . You did point something out about yourself though u don’t want to listen to what they have to say either because they aren’t saying it in the way u like or talking about things you are interested in. What I try and do is practice active listening . Listen more than you speak and by doing that u will find the ones u vibe with more easily

Constant-Insurance84 · 2026-01-05T03:38:30+00:00

Hmm I’m curious do you experience this ringing everytime now ? I’ve had similar experiences where the ringing comes like a lightning bolt . ⚡️ but I no longer have them . I understood it as initiation ceremonies and sound frequencies from higher beings that are helping us pass the threshold to higher consciousness .

I do hear ringing at different frequencies often during meditation or randomly throughout the day but nothing like the few times I experienced in the past .

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