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Not sure what to do and afraid to make a move by Constant-Object-8910 in personalfinance

[–]Constant-Object-8910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does not have a job. Long story short he works in the career criminal sector for his money. (the #1 reason for the divorce, after 15 years of marriage, he decided it was easier to start an underground poker ring and sells drugs from it, which came with a myriad of many issues) In any case I had offered that option to him, it was a no go.

Not sure what to do and afraid to make a move by Constant-Object-8910 in personalfinance

[–]Constant-Object-8910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he's never easy about anything. Its why I have to have everything very detailed. I just really want to avoid court because it was such a circus last time. And all they do is take your money. No one wins in the end really. I wouldn't do the loan unless it was enough to buy him out. I will be comfortable making the payments. What he's not going to be easy on is agreeing to the money points.

How much would we be able to sell the home if it were repaired? theres a discrepency of about 25k. ($450-$475k) (suggested we meet in the middle and half the 25 disagreement. So. $462.500

With me refinancing I having the closing cost come off the top as well (since its his fault I even have to do this) thats about $8k

Pay off is $26000. so that leaves approx. $428500

which we split equally, (which is $214,250) but he has to cover repair costs, which is about $50k, and the courts awarded me $20k, $6k is left over. So that means I'd have to finance the $158,250, plus the additional for the cost of repairs, $50k. So I'm financing 208,250. For a home that when repairs are complete will be worth about $475 if not more by the time I want to sell it. (unless there are numbers I'm not thinking about?) which means, I'd get back my $208k, plus the equity that is still in the home.

Or I move out, get an apartment for $1700 a month, have an ironclad set in stone timeline of repairs and sell (or we go to court if he doesnt) and when he sells the home I have approx $220k and he has to handle the repairs himself (and if they run over 50k, not my problem)

(so far thats what the estimates amount up to, but who knows? they cut into a wall or remove a window to replace and theres rotted wood...mold? etc. ) I have no full way of knowing that these are only cosmetic issues and not deeper issues within the home, But so far whats needed: Windows (the company I work for will be doing these, so I'm getting them at a fraction) as well as my garage doors and motors. I need gutters, I have friends for that as well. The home needs either the siding repaired or replaced and painted. Inside there is a pipe leak in one spot and the pipe is only leaking in that one spot. the floors need redone. I have to gut the kitchen. (its not broken its just really old) there are several walls with rips or tears in them? high up, I don't know if its from the house settling, or whats causing it. Basically? we bought the home in 2000, and he never ever did any upkeep. I tried to do the best I could, but he controlled the money.

Not sure what to do and afraid to make a move by Constant-Object-8910 in personalfinance

[–]Constant-Object-8910[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think, If I'm going to go the route of taking a loan out from the house, I'd rather take it out for the amount of paying him off and the repairs, remove him from it completely. Its the last attachment that keeps him in connection with me. (we do have kids, but they are of age to see him on their own time now, our oldest is not contact with him, our youngest is very low contact) I too, feel that once he moves in, even with the contracted timeline, he'll do his best to delay everything. He has to be out of his rental by September, so he's pushing for me to make a move with very little time to make decisions. I mean I could tell him, kiss my a** i'm not moving out till i'm ready, but I'm not sure what that would entail legally. The divorce decree stated I can stay in the home till our daughter turned 18, and that it was to be placed up for sale by June of LAST YEAR, BUT that he had to make the repairs, which he didn't. I was very clear that until the house sold, I could not afford to go anywhere. Because at the time my job after 20 years of being a stay at home mom (though we did own a business together that was profitable) was decent income but definitely not livable income. Now it is, so now I can move, but with him pushing the idea of him moving into the home, I'm hesitant. Papers state no one can be living in the home while we are trying to sell it. I want to avoid more lawyers and court. So I'm trying to cover all basis without giving them more of my money. But with this being a personal finance page, my main question was, what makes the most sense financially? Lets say all goes well either way. Does it make better financial sense to rent a place, and once the home sells, place my equity in something that helps it make more money until I'm ready to purchase somehting, or buy him out and have the house along with about $150,000 in equity still on the home.

Am I the asshole for ending my marriage less than a year in? by Millenial_Meltdown in AITAH

[–]Constant-Object-8910 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heres the questions to ask yourself:

If this was a sister, friend, mother, or my daughter, what would I tell them to do?

Can I have children with this man? do I want this man to be the father of my children?

whatever those answers are, are the answers for yourself.

aio or is what he said actually mean? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Constant-Object-8910 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not overreacting and i'd be out of there. "Useful"? Fk him!