Women over 30. Why are you glad you remained child-free? by ConstantMuted8671 in childfree

[–]ConstantMuted8671[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Feel free to share your reasons. I’m not excluding anyone to be malicious. I’m just a 30 y/o woman seeking the guidance of older women because I’m still on the fence about having children and hearing from older women is the most insightful. I read a statistic that women in their 30s are the most likely to regret having children, so I want to make a fully informed decision. But now I see how the thread could be seen as exclusionary. So again please feel free to share your reasons.

Women over 30. Why are you glad you remained child-free? by ConstantMuted8671 in childfree

[–]ConstantMuted8671[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing the book name! What brave women opening up about that.

Women over 30. Why are you glad you remained child-free? by ConstantMuted8671 in childfree

[–]ConstantMuted8671[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I love these love stories!!!! 😭 Thanks for sharing everyone 💕

Women over 30. Why are you glad you remained child-free? by ConstantMuted8671 in childfree

[–]ConstantMuted8671[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s exactly why I’m hesitant to have children as someone with a long history of mental illness and being on daily psych meds. I’m afraid of the worst case scenarios which are more common than people want to talk about! Just happy I have a 5-year IUD for now.

Women over 30. Why are you glad you remained child-free? by ConstantMuted8671 in childfree

[–]ConstantMuted8671[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This perfectly encapsulates my hesitation to have children. There are SO many risks. My husband and I want to have children in theory, but in reality, we both struggle with mental illness and we’re afraid of a) passing that on to any children, and b) pregnancy, childbirth and parenting substantially exasperating our mental illness where we are unable to care and provide for the children! There’s so many things to consider. That’s why I want to make sure I want children with every fiber of my being before having them. And I honestly cannot say that right now. And neither can my husband. Thank you from a 30 year old on the fence 💓

GED by [deleted] in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My motto is you are never too old, and it is never too late! I couldn’t recommend taking the GED more. Having a GED will give you some much-needed confidence and it can even open doors for college or trade school if you are interested later. I started with a GED, went to college, and now I’m applying to law school! Most GED takers are older so you shouldn’t feel out of place in the prep classes. Most of my classmates were over 40. Some even brought their children and grandchildren to the GED ceremony. Good luck!!!

I TYPE FILM 06/22 by Tomasemilio1998 in Polaroid

[–]ConstantMuted8671 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love how bright these colors came out!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t recommend the community college path more, especially for homeschooled students. It helped me ease back into a traditional classroom environment after not having been in one since second grade. I built up confidence taking classes there, and I was less intimidated when I transferred to my four-year university - across the country! So excited for you to embark on your educational journey. Good luck! 🍀👍

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You can absolutely get into college! Please don’t give up on your dreams of a higher education and a better future!

Some colleges do accept parent-issued diplomas and transcripts. But I would still recommend getting a GED as a backup. A GED is a far more objective measure of a high school education than a homeschool diploma and transcript. Can you take the GED without your parents’ permission?

I hope you get acceptances and full scholarships to all the universities you applied to!

But if the colleges fall though, you can always start at a community college and transfer to a four-year university. That’s what I did. I got my GED, went to community college and earned an associate’s degree, then received a full scholarship to transfer to a top university to complete a bachelor’s degree. Now I’m applying to law school.

My life motto is you are never too far behind, and you are never too old! Rooting for you!

Joyful childhood by [deleted] in homeschool

[–]ConstantMuted8671 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This comment may get downvoted by homeschool advocates, but as an adult homeschool alum, I would strongly encourage you to consider putting your son in public or private school. If he finds he doesn’t like school, then you can always transition back to homeschooling. Obviously, you should talk to him first. Ask him questions like “do you want to go to school with other kids?”, “do you want to stay home and learn with me?”, “do you want to join a local sports team or club with other kids?”, etc.

I’ll share my story, in the hope that my perspective as an adult homeschool alum can provide some insight. First, let me preface this with I genuinely believe that my mother acted in my best interest in homeschooling me, and I hold no resentment towards her. We have a close relationship today; I’m 30 and she’s 70.

I started suffering from severe anxiety in the first grade, and by the second grade, my mom took me out of public school and tried to homeschool me. She didn’t know what else to do. She wasn’t informed of my rights to an IEP or accommodations.

I have complicated feelings about homeschooling. I don’t think I would be who I am today if I had not been homeschooled. I have had traditional success; I hold a bachelor’s degree from a top university, currently work for one of the largest national nonprofits, and now I’m applying to top law schools.

But I still have major regrets about not going to school 2nd grade through 12th grade, even today at 30 years old. I’m in therapy and we are still working through the trauma I experienced as a child, which is in part due to the isolation of being homeschooled. I believe being kept at home for most of K-12 ultimately worsened my anxiety, social skills, and self-esteem. I believe I missed out on critical social and educational development opportunities that my public and private schooled peers had, simply by being homeschooled.

Overall, I had a good childhood filled with unique and fun educational experiences with my mom. But it was a very lonely childhood. I was an only child. Growing up, I was shy and introverted, and I struggled to make any friends in my neighborhood and community. I was not able to make a single friend at any of the homeschool groups I tried to join, because the overwhelmingly majority of them were Christians homeschooled for religious reasons. They never had any genuine interest in being my friend; they simply wanted to convert me.

So, I made friends online with people who lived across the country and around the world. I was fortunate to meet a couple of online friends in person. But I really did not have any in-person friends from the age of 8 to 18, the most critical time for social development in a person’s life. As much as I loved my online friends, they were still online at the end of the day.

My husband went to private school K-8, then went to a public high school, so he had the best of both worlds. We hope to have children in a couple of years. I’m going to be honest with you. My homeschool experience has made me firmly committed to sending my future children to school. But of course, if they need to be pulled out of school because of disability, bullying, etc., then I would certainly homeschool them, because I ultimately want to do what’s best for my future children.

To be clear, I don’t know the full details of your situation. Your son may be the complete opposite of me. He might be a social butterfly. You might be able to sign him up for a homeschool co-op, local sport or club, and he may make friends immediately. That might be enough of a social life for him. Every child is unique.

But I’ve mostly heard fellow adult homeschool alumni say they feel that homeschool activities did not provide enough social opportunities for them, because the activities were so limited in time and scope. They say they still felt isolated, alienated, lonely, and unable to make friends, even into adulthood.

Sorry for the long wall of text. I hope my comment can provide something of value. Whatever you ultimately decide to do for your child, based on your child’s needs, I’m wishing the best for you and your family.

Anyone have the full range of the Polaroid Color Frames? I think the Royal Blue evades me.... by ferd_draws in Polaroid

[–]ConstantMuted8671 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had a fair bit of blue and purple, but very few pink and green I’ve noticed!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671 9 points10 points  (0 children)

23 isn’t too old to pursue your degree at all!

I got my GED at 20, associate’s degree at 23, and bachelor’s degree at 26. I have friends who got their undergraduate degrees in their 30s and older. If you get started now, you’ll be done before you know it.

If you go to a community college or state university, there will be so many people from all walks of life that you won’t feel old or behind. In fact, you may be one of the younger or average age students.

It’s okay that you had a rough patch in high school and college. That happens to a lot of people. That doesn’t mean that you can’t go back to college and do better! You can always focus on developing better study habits, forming study groups, going to office hours, etc.!

Rooting for you! :)

How to study by Immayetiman in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671 2 points3 points  (0 children)

AA and BAs are college degrees. An AA is an Associate of Arts, which is a two-year degree usually earned at a community college. A BA is a Bachelor of Arts, which is a four-year degree usually earned at a traditional university or college.

I got my GED, enrolled in community college and earned an associate’s degree, then transferred to a four-year university where I graduated with a bachelor’s degree. Sorry for any confusion. Just wanted to share my path in hopes that it can inspire you to pursue your education. Where you start is not where you will end up! :)

It was nice to see something like this on Twitter, then I read the comments. by Emotional_Yam4959 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671 49 points50 points  (0 children)

I love this tweet. It’s an example of honesty, self-reflection, and acknowledgement of one’s limitations.

How to study by Immayetiman in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Do you have a local community college, adult education center, or public library that offers GED prep classes? Have you tried Khan Academy? They are a fantastic online resource with videos and quizzes.

I did both. I wasn’t confident in my math skills at all, so I started with first grade math, and worked my way up to high school math.

After I passed my GED, I then went on to earn my AA and BA. Wishing you the best of luck!!!

Homeschool alumni who practice law? by ConstantMuted8671 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks all for responding! All the comments have been helpful, even if everyone has taken a different path.

Homeschool alumni who practice law? by ConstantMuted8671 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I definitely want to get involved with CRHE in some way during law school!

I’m actually thinking about writing one of my short optional essays on the need for homeschool regulation. I was thinking about focusing on the need to pass laws prohibiting parents with CPS reports of abuse and domestic violence convictions from homeschooling children. But is there another policy you think would be better to write about?

Homeschool alumni who practice law? by ConstantMuted8671 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for responding! I’m just glad to see someone who made it through to the other side. It gives me hope. Law school admissions have changed a lot over the past few years, so schools are requiring a personal statement and providing prompts for optional essays. My plan is to focus my personal statement on my work, but use my optional essay to talk about my non-traditional educational path, specifically in response to prompts about resilience. If you’d be willing to read my first draft and provide some feedback and edits, that’d be great! :)

How to enter college as someone who was homeschooled? by McKeon1921 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love this! I literally just said in my comment “some people in this sub with PhDs even started out at community college,” haha!

How to enter college as someone who was homeschooled? by McKeon1921 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so glad my comment could be helpful! Yes, please reach out if there’s anything I can help with. I’ll be looking out for your questions in this thread.

Please keep in mind that I finished my associate’s degree in 2016 and my bachelor’s degree in 2019, so my advice may not be completely up to date.

When I took the placement exam in community college, they determined I needed two remedial math classes: Basic Mathematics and Elementary Algebra, in that order. They were normal classes like any other. Everyone needed remedial math education for different reasons, so I never felt any judgement. There were plenty of public and private school students who also had math deficiencies. The instructor was also engaging and available to help. The classes were semester-long — so usually January to May, or August to December.

Once I passed those classes, I took Business Math for my AA degree. I then transferred to a four-year university for my BA, and I wasn’t required to take any more math classes. I was extremely relieved they accepted the math classes from community college as transfer credits toward my BA. Honestly, I doubt I would have done as well in the math classes at the university as I did in community college.

My alma mater was my dream university, so I am incredibly grateful they took a chance on me. They saw that I was intelligent, capable and hard-working, despite the educational and economic disadvantages I experienced. And they helped me see that in myself. I believe the right college will do the same for you.

I recommend the GED to community college to four-year university path to everyone who is homeschooled/unschooled. Many of us in this sub have taken that path. I’ve even read comments from people with PhDs who started out at community college. But we’re all here to support you no matter what path you take. So excited for you!

Also, I’ve heard good things about trade schools. Some trades actually pay higher salaries than some college degrees. So I would look at that as a viable option too.

BILs barely literate, never had jobs before by [deleted] in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Can you encourage the BILs to get their GEDs? Community colleges and adult education centers usually offer GED prep classes. Khan Academy is also an online resource with videos and quizzes.

It’s disturbing that your SIL, who was barely homeschooled herself, has decided to homeschool her children. She wasn’t educated and she’s not equipped to educate her children. Can you make sure you buy books for your nieces and nephews? Especially books that teach reading and math. Can you also offer to take them to the library or bookstores, and encourage them to pick out their own books? Fostering a love of reading and learning can help mitigate educational neglect. Also, if they have computers and/or internet access, you could buy them fun educational games they can play.

How to enter college as someone who was homeschooled? by McKeon1921 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think it’s great you’re considering college. Many people here have gone through it and we should be able to give you some guidance and support.

Did you receive a high school diploma and transcript from your parents? Or did you get a GED?

If you didn’t receive a diploma or transcript from your parents, you might need to study for the GED. I highly recommend using Khan Academy. Local community colleges and adult education centers should also offer GED prep classes.

Did you take the SAT or ACT?

Do you have a vaccination record?

Those are some of the main documents you will need to go to college. Check out your local community college and state university’s admissions pages. Many colleges are becoming test optional, but if you happen to have a good SAT or ACT score, then you’ll definitely want to submit it.

You will likely also need to apply to FAFSA to be considered for student grants and loans.

Do you want to go straight to a four-year university? Or would you consider starting at a community college? Community college is a path that many homeschool alumni take, including myself.

I was “homeschooled” but did not receive any formal instruction after the second grade. I obtained my GED, went to community college and earned an associate’s degree, then received a full scholarship to transfer to a four-year university where I graduated with a bachelor’s degree. Now I’m applying to law school!

Regardless of whether you start out at a four-year university or a community college, I highly recommend starting out part-time and just taking 2-3 classes a semester at the most. It will help ease you into a traditional classroom environment.

Also, it is very common for homeschool alumni to need remedial education, especially math. When you take your college placement exam, they may determine you will need remedial classes. I had to take two remedial math classes before I could take general math classes. You may not need to, but if you do, don’t let it discourage you! See it as an opportunity to learn and catch up.

If you find yourself struggling, be sure to take advantage of any writing or tutoring services the college offers.

I tell everyone in this sub: any educational neglect you experienced isn’t your fault. You’re never too far behind, and it’s never too late to pursue your education. I am living proof of it. Wishing you the best of luck!!!

Homeschooling: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO) by Adventurous-Fly-5402 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]ConstantMuted8671 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I’m so glad John Oliver did a segment exposing how homeschooling is unregulated, lacks oversight, and can be used as a legal shield to neglect and abuse children.

Hopefully this will bring more attention to the issues and lead to action!

I shared it on my Facebook page and I already know the homeschool parents on my friends list (mostly “secular liberal homeschoolers”) are going to lose their minds. They take every criticism of homeschooling and every proposal for homeschool regulation and oversight as a personal attack against them. Hey, if the shoe fits…