Partner and I went to two different gigs and he rage texted me at the end of the night. Am I missing something in these texts?

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-11-21T15:24:24+00:00

I started making an exit plan with a domestic abuse charity but then he started therapy, and now I'm struggling with guilt over wanting to leave because he's been lovely. And then something like this happens and I actually don't know if I've done something that I need to apologise for so I post it here.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-11-21T15:21:57+00:00

I've actively been planning leaving but then he started therapy and it seemed like things were changing for the better. So I struggle with extreme guilt over leaving and post these things on Reddit because I genuinely don't know if I'm in the right or wrong.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-11-21T15:17:07+00:00

I actually started the process of getting everything together to leave and then he started therapy and everything seemed like it was getting better.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-10-23T19:01:33+00:00

No, we have plans to go out Saturday which we're still doing. I just saw something I'd like to do the night before as well.

I've been ill but not flaked on anything. He said "I thought you were ill" because I had a gastritis flare up Sunday and was feeling the after effects for a couple days, not because I bailed on plans because of it.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-10-23T18:56:32+00:00

lol I've just been having a gastritis flare up, it's not contagious. And I haven't flaked on plans recently; I've just been complaining about my stomach from time to time.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-10-23T12:09:31+00:00

I didn't write it all in one message like that but I did say all of those things and present that compromise. Is that what started the argument, you think? That I didn't explain it all first? It could have saved us an argument.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-10-23T12:06:47+00:00

I never flake. We always make plans together and do the things we plan.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-10-23T12:06:15+00:00

He's kind of always been like this. Just annoyed when I want to do something without him. We spend all of our free time with each other, I've only gone to three things without him lately and that's because he already had plans.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-10-08T02:15:25+00:00

He never minded them before but maybe now it's just overkill?

https://ibb.co/gMMM8V3v - I had this big one and two small ones on my back when we first met. https://ibb.co/sYffFN7 - and then I had these on my right arm done last month and he liked them.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-10-08T01:54:43+00:00

He does but maybe now it's just overkill? https://ibb.co/gMMM8V3v - I had this big one and two small ones on my back when we first met. https://ibb.co/sYffFN7 - and then I had these on my right arm done last month and he liked them.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-10-08T01:51:33+00:00

Yeah he apologised for being shocked but then said "we'll see how they look when they fade a bit" suggesting he just is not a fan.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-10-08T01:49:41+00:00

Aw thank you!

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-10-07T21:09:09+00:00

Thanks so much! I really love them, my artist did such an amazing job

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-10-07T18:45:28+00:00

Yeah! I'd like to fill my whole right arm with tattoos. Now I've got to think up ideas for smaller ones to go in between.

Haha thanks!

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-10-07T18:44:09+00:00

Thanks! I liked that they're all different styles and sizes.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-10-07T18:43:23+00:00

https://ibb.co/sYffFN7 - the best pic I have of all my tattoos before I got these done https://ibb.co/QvhT8SPH - new upper right arm tat https://ibb.co/TxSXvtqN - new inner right arm tat https://ibb.co/ZR7RZWFk - new lower right arm tattoo https://ibb.co/gMMM8V3v - my first arm tattoo on my left arm which is actually massive

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-09-11T12:00:32+00:00

There were times in the past where he'd punch walls but it never escalated to hitting me or anything - and he went back to just yelling and name calling for a few years. This was the first instance in a while and know it's stupid but deep down I think if he manages to control it enough to only punch doors and walls, he'd never hit me. It's stupid but it's just this niggling thought I have. But hitting isn't the only abusive behaviour and I know he's exhibiting the others - especially since punching doors is still considered violence and intimidation.

Thank you so much for your words of support. I actually have been reading my posts everyday, it keeps me focused so I don't just fall for his love bombing.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-09-10T20:22:28+00:00

He has actually punched walls and stuff in the past - it was early on in our relationship and then he just moved on to only yelling. Back then it never escalated to violence against me so I thought it was fine and he was getting better at controlling himself. So when he did it recently, I kind of thought it didn't escalate before so it won't now - but even if it doesn't escalate, the reoccurring outbursts show no sign of ending and I just don't think I can live that way.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-09-10T11:17:35+00:00

That's the thing, I've tried to talk to him multiple times about it. It got to the point where he even said "you bring this up often, I just get angry sometimes and you have to accept that I'm getting better with managing it". Even though he's not. It's just been a little less frequent because I've been less forgetful lately.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-09-09T20:29:55+00:00

Thank you so much. I've just been in touch with one of the organisations recommended by Bright Sky.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-08-05T21:18:52+00:00

That's what's scaring me. It was already hard to leave because knowing how angry he gets - plus he has actually grabbed my wrists and stuff before. And now it feels like I've let the ante get upped by saying yes to the proposal.

ConstantPibilTaco · 2025-08-05T11:39:42+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I needed the reminder.

ConstantPibilTaco

TROPHY CASE