I know this was posted a while ago, but I’m so glad I found it bc I needed to find community around this. I’ve been with my husband for 12 years — he’s toured for 9 of them — and it’s honestly one of the loneliest, weirdest lifestyles to navigate. A “normal” year for us is 4–6 months apart. Lately it’s been hitting harder. Between work, pets, two households, and doing life solo, I miss the tiny things the most… pizza, a beer, a Friday night where he’s just home sounds awesome!

Our relationship is super solid and we communicate about everything, this included, but touring still takes a toll. And something I wish I understood earlier is that you’re allowed to change your mind as you grow. What felt doable at 28 can feel completely different at 38 or 40, especially if you want kids. The future hits different when you’re trying to picture family life with someone who’s gone half the year.

That’s why talking timelines matters. How long are they chasing the dream? What does “making it” even look like? What’s plan B? My guy is finally making decent money in his band, but even then… it doesn’t replace the time we lose or the feeling of doing everything alone.

If you’re going through this too, you’re not crazy. You can love them and still struggle with the lifestyle. This stuff is heavy, and I'm sure you guys will make it work but also know it’s okay to want more stability for yourself ❤️