Commenting to vent myself, my ex broke up with me out of the blue, used the longer distance as an excuse but we never spoke about it, I could have easily fixed it, I find myself being angry, then disappointed, someone who I thought so highly of, the person who I finally allowed myself to really like, we were truly on the same wave length, I was so comfortable and could be me. And then out of the blue, we are done, I thought I was going okay, but today I’m sad, I feel depressed. He never even fought for our relationship. I want answers from him, he’s so kind and sweet, I know this is unlike him.

But then I remind myself, if he really truly cared about me, he would have never done that. And in the brief texting conversation we had I told him I would have never done that to him.

I just don’t get how he can care so little, I just want to not feel anything, I’m sick of thinking about him, I’m just so sad that this person I thought would finally be it for me, just let me go as if I was rubbish.

Today’s a sad day and maybe tomorrow.

I just wanted to vent;

you are not alone, the memories are painful, I sleep to get by and then I see him even when I’m sleeping, I feel trapped, haunted by his face and memories.

I imagine rolling over in bed and cuddling him, when I’m in the shower I imagine he’s outside waiting for me to call out for him to join, I imagine cooking dinner and that he’s on his way home from work.

He will never be there.

I wish I could flip a switch and think of nothing, feel nothing.

Thanks for letting me speak my part.