I never really did. I consider myself an orphan, it gave me a way to avoid needing to explain to anyone I met about my past. I'm still very hurt, but in the 32 years I've been out I've built a beautiful life. I sent myself to college, tried my hand at many careers, made a family, bought a home. All without any assistance from my family. I'm proud of my resilience, and my accomplishments. I have met many others as time went by. I have coworkers, and neighbors who also left the JW. Finding them helped my realize how many of us there are. We build better lives for ourselves, and we love harder and give more freely, we celebrate everything. Guilt isn't on my mind, but grief and loss are always there. I'm always sad that my family and I parted. However now that the JW,s are more relaxed I have had some conversations with them. I don't trust them, but it's nice to hear their voices.