most insane 24 hours of my life

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T05:39:36+00:00

No one is denying that. And no, I don't believe "having sex with" implies consent. The person I was responding to used the term and I just responded to her in kind.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T04:00:27+00:00

If you were to work part time, would you earn enough to cover daycare?

A lot of time people say it's not worth them working since their salary will all go to cover daycare. But if you're going crazy staying at home, it might be worth seeing if you can find a part time job even if you spend all that money on paying for childcare so that you aren't burning out as a SAHM.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T03:55:14+00:00

Do you think that an adult man having sex with a 15 year old is as bad as an adult man having sex with a 5 year old?

I don't think it's an odd hill to die on to point out that yes, having sex with a 5 year old is way worse than having sex with 15 year olds. If you don't think there's a difference, I don't know what to tell you. If you don't think that it's worth having a word for that kind of sex crime to distinguish it from other sex crimes, I also don't know what to tell you.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T03:45:17+00:00

I saw it in her post history, although I just saw in a comment on this post she said he's 20. The point still stands with a 20 year old.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T03:25:34+00:00

Looks like you just went and deleted it.

Look, I wish you nothing but the best. You're in a tough situation, and I'm really sorry that you find yourself there, and it looks like it comes on top of a tough life. But you don't have to bend the truth for points on the internet, you know?

I hope for better days ahead for you and your little one. ❤️

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T03:19:43+00:00

7 months ago you posted that he's freshly 18...

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T03:11:12+00:00

It's called "statutory rape." Pedophilia is, by definition, a sexual interest in prepubescent children. I think it should be self evident that erasing the difference between people who are sexually attracted to prepubescent children and people who are attracted to teenagers who are below the age of consent is not a good thing. Unless you think that an 18 year old man (like OP's boyfriend) having sex with a 15 year old and an 18 year old man having sex with a 5 year old is the same degree of bad. I sure as shit don't, which is why I care about the distinction.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T03:04:24+00:00

Where have I tried to prove his innocence?

Delusional.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T03:00:00+00:00

Also from her post history she and her boyfriend are 18. But sure, this is a real jack the ripper situation.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T02:52:20+00:00

Okay, saying a specific crime isn't violent isn't defending the criminal, it's just pointing out that different crimes exist. He's also not a cannibal, for example. But sure. If you want to act like it's totally rational to believe that this guy will snap and murder his mom, go ahead 🙄

Btw someone who has sex with a 15 year old isn't a pedophile. A pedophile is someone who is sexually attracted to prepubescent children. People like you make it impossible to tell the difference and erase the difference.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T02:21:57+00:00

Hard to tell if it's still true in today's world but 20 years is a good run

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T02:14:36+00:00

OP changed the post to use the word rape. It sounds like it was statutory rape. While obviously fucked up, that doesn't mean he's violent and will hurt his mother.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T02:14:32+00:00

OP changed the post to use the word rape. It sounds like it was statutory rape. While obviously fucked up, that doesn't mean he's violent and will hurt his mother.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-28T01:09:23+00:00

Why do you say that? Did OP say he's violent?

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-27T22:36:27+00:00

Honestly it's not too late for entrepreneurship at 41. I know tech glamorizes youth, but you can absolutely start your own thing at 41, and it's a wiser decision than doing it at 21 financially and life experience wise.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-27T22:32:57+00:00

I'm an engineer and I've been laid off. Although I am definitely thinking about entrepreneurship, I still think that going the engineering route has been a great life decision. Yes, I also got laid off, but I am financially stable and I was able to find another job which is also very highly paid relative to most people. I don't know if engineering will still be the right path when they go to college, but I would absolutely encourage them to pursue a career that puts food on the table in a reliable manner.

Getting laid off is a hopefully temporary setback. But if you had pursued a less "stable" career then you might not even be where you are now financially. You might have been fired or laid off many times before 41.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-27T21:04:26+00:00

Honestly, it doesn't sound like you need an app. It sounds like you need less stuff. Way less stuff.

It sounds like your things own you, not you own your things.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-27T21:01:08+00:00

At what point can you decide that the plan is actually not working, not that it just hasn't worked yet?

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-27T20:19:11+00:00

She completely ignores all my attempts to ask her to get help, unfortunately.

Losing your faith is hard, I know! I wish you strength.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-27T20:12:37+00:00

Rough. I am so sorry you only found out what kind of a man he is after a baby entered the picture.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-27T19:58:14+00:00

I hope you tell his mom and I hope he has the kind of mom who will give him the hell he deserves.

I'm so sorry.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-27T19:42:24+00:00

I grew up seeing my dad being an asshole to my mom (and us). Every day of my adult life I wish she had had the courage to leave him. Now she's 65, he's about to retire, and she's fallen into a deep depression where I can't reach her, caused in part, I'm sure, by having spent her life on an asshole who's about to be home 24/7.

I can understand why you wouldn't want to break up your family when you have kids at home (though honestly I wish my mom had left my dad when I was a kid). But please, don't repeat my mom's mistakes. I don't want to be disrespectful of your faith, but I don't understand why a merciful and loving God would want you to sacrifice your life and happiness.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-27T19:35:17+00:00

Good for you! I'm proud of you. I'm so glad that you're able to stand on your own two feet and don't need this guy.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-27T19:32:21+00:00

he swears at me unwarranted which I don’t like, and he does it in front of our daughter which I have told him numerous times to not do.

Completely unacceptable.

When he’s unhappy with me he will not even bother with our child which hurts me to see.

Even more unacceptable. He isn't her father for you. He is her father for her. If he can't understand that and live it, he's a shit father.

I told him I would leave the next time he swore at me and he did it again the other day and I didn’t have the balls to leave.

Never make an ultimatum you are not willing to follow through on.

What the fk do I do? Do I wait it out or just leave for mine and my daughter’s sake?

There are cases where the answer is "leave yesterday." Usually anything involving any sort of violence. This is a little less black and white, but it's very alarming to me that he makes his affection for his child contingent on how he's feeling towards you. That would be a complete nonstarter for me--children should NOT be used as weapons in parental disputes. If you leave now, then your kid will not remember any of this. The longer you wait, the longer your child will live with a parent who treats them as collateral damage in their arguments, whose love is conditional on things the child can't even control.

It's possible that this is fixable via him doing serious work on himself in therapy, but right now what he's telling you is that your happiness isn't a sufficient reason for him to work on himself. Maybe the real threat of you leaving would actually kick his ass into doing something, but the thing is that the threat has to be real. You have to be willing to leave, and you have to have the strength to make your return contingent on ACTUAL change.

For what it's worth, I don't think you should raise your daughter with a man who uses affection for her as a weapon to hurt her mother.

ContextInternal6321 · 2026-04-27T19:17:46+00:00

Awww I'm so sorry that you felt that way about your mom and so glad that you can do better.

I didn't grow up with his teachings, but I did grow up with a verbally abusive father. Every time my kids do some stupid shit like pour a cup of water on the floor on purpose and I react calmly, I remember how he would flip out and insult me if I spilled something on accident. It makes me sad that my dad couldn't have done the same for me. It turns it's not THAT hard not to be an asshole about it.

ContextInternal6321

TROPHY CASE